These last few days I've noticed that I haven't felt like being part of my life. I've been just sort of functioning and living life like a normal routine but not been. Its hard to explain but I've noticed it mostly with the kids. I slow down long enough to hear the main point and then I move on. I find that I want them to rush and tell me what they need to or I need to do what I'm suppose to do for them then move on. By doing that I miss the little things, and most little things that get missed in my experience are the most treasured. Move onto what, I'm not sure. Its not like there is something I need to rush off to do. Things are going well in my life right now, nothing out of the ordinary. We were blessed during the holiday season with family and friends and enjoyed ourselves. So nothing is wrong.
It wasn't until today that I really took a deep breath in and deep breath out. I went to MOPS leadership planning meeting. For some reason I sort of had an emotional melt down, well really an emotional release. Apparently a well needed one. It was short but just enough to look at things internal, get refreshed, let out a big sigh and move on.
The little emotional release was so unplanned (which I know we don't plan them but usually something has gone on or happened to feel or see one coming on) and not the direction I envisioned myself going with it. But it happened and it was okay. I wasn't sure where it all came from or why but apparently it was a needed. I'm not sure if it has been a build up of things or just a hidden need that had to have some release. I know I'm babbling and maybe not making much sense and if a man was reading this they would probably want to lock me up in a white padded room (no I'm kidding)
I think it all goes back to taking too much on with my own strength and not dying to self and giving it up to the Lord. The Lord is all knowing and places what we need at the time in our life regardless of our own understanding. So I think in moments like I had today just to remember to take a break to take a deep breath in and deep breath out with the knowledge and faith in the Holy Spirit above is the way to go.
I'm glad that you were able to release what was being bottled up inside. Sometimes we can't explain why we feel or don't feel the way we do. Just part of being human. Sending hugs and prayers your way, dear friend.
ReplyDelete