God is amazing

My grandmother had left a message on my phone to go by her house before I went home from bible study this morning.  So I did.  To be honest I didn't want to.  I felt like I needed time to myself and sort of wanted to hide and process things from earlier in the morning.  But I didn't I put a weak smile on my face, my sunglasses on my face (realizing that it my grandmother wouldn't notice if I had been crying with her one good eye), and  feeling a little more hopeful headed over to my grandmothers. 

I'm so glad I went.  She greeted me with smiles and a big hug. She is such a delight.  So cute and funny with her tell it like it is.  I ended up having lunch with her and helping her gather some things up that she wanted to get rid of also discovering that she was going to move to Texas and live with my mom and step-dad.  The whole thing, going over there, having lunch, and conversation was the best re-route of thought I needed at the time.

I left there feeling even more hopeful and ready to keep moving forward.

I went by the church to get rid of some of things my grandmother wanted to pass on to the church for their sales and things.  I went home, then to the gym then home again.  By now I was feeling better but had a headache and was very tired.  I laid down on the couch and told the girls that I was going to rest for a little while then start dinner. An hour later I woke up and Micah was home.

I went to say hi to him and tell him about my grandmother moving and then to start dinner.......

What a day!  God you are amazing!  Thank you

Community

Today didn't start out very well.  I was on my way to bible study praying to God and asking him to help me get through my day.  I tried to really stop crying and get myself presentable.  I walked in to the church feeling like if someone were to ask me how I was I was going to crumble. Part of me wanted someone to ask and the other part didn't.  I was early so I had time to walk around and look like everything was fine and say "Hi" and smile as I greeted whoever I saw.  It was hard, everything wasn't alright and I didn't want to pretend.  The moment a friend of mine walked in the door I knew I was going to loose it.  She greeted me with a smile and hug and asked me how I was and that was all it took for the flood gates to open up and unleash the tears.  I couldn't hold back anymore, as hard as I tried I just couldn't act like everything was fine.

We left the room and I unloaded on her about my morning and the last few days.  Shortly afterward I was in the pastors office with her and we were all talking.  I cried, and listened and talked some and then we prayed.  I went back into the room to where the bible study had gone on without us to get my purse to leave.  I was quickly surrounded with arms that hugged me tight.  Not many words were shared, the simple hug was enough to show that they cared.  I went to the table where my purse was and found a note on my bible from a friend.

The best thing I could do this morning with the way I was feeling was to walk into my church, drop my smile and really be honest with how I wasn't okay.

Always Trusting

 Enjoy serving the Lord, and he will give you what you want.  Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you.  Psalms 37:4-5

I just read this in my email and it hit me upside the head hard!  I need this verse today.  I'm feeling a little dark cloud growing over my head developing a storm inside.  I'm feeling stressed and questioning what to do and all I find myself doing is looking upward and praying to God despite the dark cloud drifting over my family.  I will do my best to just deal with what is in front of me as it comes and not to worry about the unknown.  I will only keep what I can handle and give the rest to you Lord God.  I will pray and I will trust you to take care of me and my family.

I thought I would post this but as I re-read it I'm hesitant.  I don't want you to think that I'm looking for drama or problems in my life.  I'm not in fact I've been ready for a break for a long time now.  I also don't want you to think that I'm focusing on all the little worries and think the worst and all that.  I"m also not going to let my emotions get the best of me but......trials and storms are apart of our lives and they help us grow and become more Christ-like.  So all I'm saying is that I see a little dark cloud that could develop into a storm and I want to be prepared with Christ on how to meet the next storm.

Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you.

14 years ago K.M.C.

Today my daughter Karlee Marie was born 14 years ago.  She had a hard time coming into this world but she made it and she is beautiful.  I was truly blessed 14 years ago.  She is a beautiful young woman.  I love watching her grow and experience life.  Although these days I wish we could skip some of the drama and hard lessons to learn in life that are learned during the teenage years.  Its tough on me as a parent and tough on her going through it, but we walk forward with God helping us each day.

The weekend has been busy.  Friday started off with Karlee's friends coming over for a sleepover.

Karlee loves zebra print and her favorite color is pink.  I had a friend make her cake.  It came out so cool and it was very yummy!

Saturday was spent running Karlee around from one end of town to the next so she could spend her birthday money.  I don't know what it is about shopping but I was tired when we got back and I wasn't even spending any money.  She found some cute things that she wanted and a wave iron to make her hair wavy.  So she was happy!

Sunday, today we picked up my grandmother and took her to church with us and brought her home to have lunch with us for Karlee's birthday.

Karlee with her great-grandmother

My grandmother & I

My Karlee Girl & I

Daddy-O & Karlee

Micah grilled some hamburgers for lunch.

Karlee's Best Friend Arynn came over to spend the day with Karlee.  Karlee was being silly.

they wouldn't stop laughing.....

wood burning plaques with their names on it.

Today was a wonderful day.  I really enjoyed spending time with my grandmother.  I was so happy to have her sit next to me in church.  I enjoyed the message today in church.  There were two baptisms this morning and I thought it was such a wonderful way to start the week with.  The day was spent with family and friends, I couldn't have asked for a better day than that!  Thank you Lord Jesus for such a wonderful weekend.

The Old and The New

After bible study I began to think about who I was before and who I am now.  You know the old me the new me sort of thing or should I say the old self and the new self.  There have been times when I've struggled with my old self wanting to come back into the picture.  This morning we talked about the old self and the new self and how we should be and shouldn't be.  Its only with God that I can be who I am today.  Jesus Christ went through so much for me and many others to show us, to be the example of who the "new" self should be.  Jesus also made it very clear that he was totally dependent upon God and did nothing without it coming from God first.  Once again being the example for us.

It takes work everyday on our part to be the "new" instead of the old.  I like the "new" in me and don't want to return to the "old".  I know there have been occasions that I have regressed, but that is the human side of us all. I think its so important to remember who made the way for me to be "new".  He gave up so much for me and you.

Jesus put on his robe of humanity so that He could take our place and die for us to be free from Satan and our sins.  He humbled himself and was obedient until his death.  Wow just letting that sink in, to really sink in to my thoughts leaves me speechless and very very grateful.  Thank you Heavenly Father for giving up your only son.  Here let me put it another way to help it impact in your mind by using His Holy Word.

Philippians 2:5-8
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 

By looking above is how I intend to stay focused.  By falling into my bible will help me to stay on task of being the "new".  By putting on God's armor will help me keep the negative away that wants to destroy the "new".  We all have more "jobs" than we really know and we need to add "being the new self" as one because it takes us submitting to God to make it happen, every single day.

After getting dressed in the morning, before we walk out that door, there should be a few things that are waiting to be placed on to start our new day.  A belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, gospel and peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit.

Isaiah 61:10
"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."

So why shouldn't we really work at being the "new self" instead of the "old self", so much was given up for it after all?

I pray that I can always strife to be Christ-like, to be the New that I am today not what I was, the had been that lays in the past. I move forward into the new day,  into the future with Him.

The was, were and is

Today on my way to Ladies Bible study a few thoughts came to mind.  I started to briefly think about where I came from, where I was and where I am now.  Its hard to believe all the changes that have happened.  I also had to stop and realize that in this moment things aren't as bad as I may want to make them in comparison to what they were.  I have to also realize how many things have come about from what was, and is now.  I'm so thankful for where I am at now in my life.  Thank you Lord, Jesus, thank you.


I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works.  I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.  Psalm 9:1-2

Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation!  Psalm 68:19

SIMPLE GRATITUDE HELPS US EXPERIENCE GOD AT WORK IN EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.  Harriet Crosby

Parenting

I am a mother of 3 and a step-mom of one.  My three are Karlee (14), Kyle (11 will be 12 in Feb) and Sara (8 almost 9 in Dec) and Dillon my step-son is 15 (16 in April).  So there you have it 4 kids in the house, my husband and I, 2 dogs and a cat.  Life is interesting with its ups and downs.  I love all my kids but there are days that its difficult to like what they do or say sometimes.  Being a parent is a challenge at any age.  At this point in my life I'm dealing with the teenager stage.  And at this point I feel like I won't survive and be ready for the next two.

I know I will survive and we will all come out of this stage in the end in a good and loving way but until then...I have to be honest and wonder and do a bunch of praying.  I have been doing a lot deep "sigh" and again "sigh".  I have been frustrated and frowning in one moment and then in the next laughing and smiling with them.  There have been moments of tears and loud voices and maybe a few doors that shut really hard (okay they were slammed) but like I said before there are times that there is laughter and smiles and hugs and getting along too.  Life is a ride and parenting is a roller coaster ride.

I'm not too comfortable with roller coaster rides but this is one ride that I'm on that God can help me with. I will take a deep breathe, a few moments alone to re-group when needed.  I will respond calmly in love.  I will listen then respond.  I will love each one. I will kiss and hug them good night and wave good bye in the morning on their way out the door to school and then start the day again.  I will continue this ride in God's hands.

Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.    Philippians 4:6-7

I don't understand, you don't either but He Does

 Tonight at Care Group there was a prayer request that I found interesting and that I could  relate to.  He expressed that he was confused about a situation where he works.  He is unsure about how to approach this person during a meeting next week, what to say and all that. 

Well that made me think about how I've been feeling lately.  There have been things that have popped up that I sit back and wonder about, actually worry about it.  I feel like there are things going on that I don't understand which makes it hard to respond to. 

I'm sure in all our lives everyday we come across things that leave us confused, things we don't understand.  Things we want to understand and want to respond the right way.  But if we would stop in that very moment and pray. Stop trying to figure it all out on our own, our day and the situation or circumstance will go a little bit better. (and hold on and have faith it will end up good in the end)

Phil 4:12-13
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Dear Lord,

I ask that you help me and others to process everything we face in life through the filter of Your love.  We know that you love us.  But sometimes its hard to understand the circumstances that come our way.  At times we find ourselves consumed with trying to figure things out rather thank looking for Your perspective and trusting only You.  Thank you for this new way, Your way to look at things in our lives.

Keep him out! Let His light shine!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
    Philippians 4:6

I read this daily bible verse tonight and knew that it was what I needed to receive in my email in box today.  Do you have days that you feel like something is going to happen?  Do you feel like there is a change around the corner?  Lately I've been feeling like that, and its frustrating to have random thoughts of uneasiness or concerns and worries over nothing.  (at least nothing that has presented itself yet)  I found myself all day talking to God and asking him to help me push those thoughts out of my head.  I asked him to help me hold my hand out to Satan and say "no thank you".  I found myself saying not to worry that God would be there and know how to handle whatever may come up.  I believe that too.  But then tonight as I checked my email and found the verse above I was reminded again of what God can do and will do for me.

I hear Satan knocking at my door trying to cause trouble when there is no trouble.

These thoughts have been about my family, my kids.  It rained this afternoon and I wasn't sure if Sara would still have Girls on the Run so Kyle and I went to find out.  I sat in the parking lot and Kyle ran up to the school.  I began to worry after a few minutes thinking that he couldn't find her.  Then my phone rang and it was Kyle saying that he couldn't find her.  I told him to go to the office and ask if they were still meeting or to page Sara.  I waited and waited what seemed like forever but it was only a few minutes.  He called me and said that he found her and yes they were going to meet so we could go home for while until we needed to pick her up.

Driving tonight to go pick up the kids from youth group, a thought crossed my mind about getting into an accident.  Sara and I would be in it.  I found myself going through the motions of loosing a child.

Its crazy!  I shook my head several times today to clear it and ask God to rid of it the dreadful thoughts that were popping up.  It frustrated me I didn't want to think of the things I thought of today.  I didn't want to feel that heavy feeling of dread, worry and sadness.  I don't want to be a worry wart!  I don't want to be a mother is worried about everything.  I know that I trust God and know he will care for me and all that happens in my life.  He is in control.  So where was all this stuff coming from and why?

I will pray tonight that God will quite my mind and fill it with peace.  

Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:34

Set your minds on what is above, not on what is on the earth.  Colossians 3:2 

Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.  Proverbs 16:3 

And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable-if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise-dwell on these things.  Philippians 4:7-8

And finally......

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?  Psalms 27:1

Thank you Lord for placing these passages in my heart.

Fall

September

Sunny bright

walked out deceived

the cool warm air hits 

Lately I've noticed when I go out to walk the dogs at various times of the day, its not as hot as it looks like it might be.  The weather is changing already, the nights are darker sooner.  The mornings and evenings are a little crisper.  I'm looking forward to fall.  I love how the weather gently changes.  Soon it will bring the season of hustle and bustle with activities that take place in the fall.  Open houses at the school, various little programs being put on.  The kids showing off what they have accomplished since school started.  Light jackets, pretty colored sweaters and comfy sweat shirts will begin to sneak out into our wardrobes, the layering begins.  Crock pots will be brought out and used for soups, stews and warm yummy foods to warm ourselves from the inside out.  Talk of family visiting and who will bring what for the Thanksgiving dinner, kids running around enjoying the cool outdoors.

I looked at my calendar and realized I've got quite a bit going on this Fall.

I have decided to be a Moppet worker this year, and be the lead teacher in the 3 year old class.  So I have every other Thursdays full.

I attend the Ladies Bible Study on Tuesday mornings.

Every 1st and 3rd Thursday evening my husband and I go to Care Group.

My daughter, Karlee will be turning 14 on the 25th of Sept.  I need to start thinking about the cake, the munchies and all the details that are involved when a few girls gather for a sleep over.

Oct. I'm planning on attending the Ladies Retreat.  I"m excited about the new place it will be held.  I'm looking forward to the treasures that will unfold that weekend.

Nov. Micah has been talking about taking us to the State Fair in Phoenix, it sounds fun.  Then there is the kids time to be off for Thanksgiving.  My family will be coming for Thanksgiving at our house.  Next year Micah says we are going to Santa Fe to have Thanksgiving with his Dad and family.

Dec. gosh I don't want to even think about that far ahead......

Cooler weather, busy kids, living, laughing, loving, cozy, family, and friends.....FALL

 

 

A few more

Above with Power

Giving His strength

To help me be His

____________________

In my heart

its stays fullfilled

With God's good name

_____________________

God's hand

Lifts me when I fail

Never ceasing His grace

Haikus

Karlee comes home with all these really fun writing assignments.  I love to see what they are and then read what she comes up with.  There are times I copy the assignment and try my hand at it.  It reminds me of my creative writing class that I took in high school.  It was my favorite class.  So last week Karlee came home telling me that she had to cut out a few pictures and then use them to write a haiku poem.  She did a really good job.  Today I found myself sitting at my desk inspired to do the same assignment. 

Colors so bright

Tulips on my table

Puts a smile on my face

 

(kayak)

Peacefully exploring

Just room for two

Enjoying our surrounings

 

My child's smile

Restores happiness in my heart

How they grow so fast

(jet ski)

Fast cool waves

Splashing and bumping me

Zooming on the water

Fluttering by

With colors so blended

Gracefully soaring high above

Flagstaff Sky

Painted beauty

Breath taking colors

Gazing upon what my creator made

The rest of the weekend

Micah chilling out before the NAU game.  We rode to Tucson with 2 other couples on a little road trip on Saturday.

We were given NAU shirts and I was modeling mine.  It was a fun day getting to know other people.  Made some new friends.  Adult time without kids.  It was fun.  I had never been anywhere with just couples.  It was very hot in Tucson but we all enjoyed ourselves.

Karlee and I decided on Monday to go to the fair for a little while.  We shared a yummy cherry lemonade.

Ended my weekend with my hanging our with my daughter.  After the fair we went to lunch then walked around the mall for a little while then went home for the day to relax.  The boys were at the park or at a friends house.  Micah and Sara went to Lake Powell and played on the jet ski.  Everyone had a great weekend.

Our Anniversary

Our Anniversary was Saturday Sept. 3rd but since we were going out of town on Saturday we had to start getting "rid" of the kids.  They all went where we had arranged on Friday.  So we found ourselves on a Friday night having our whole entire quite house to ourselves.  So we went to SAMS and bought some steaks, yummy garlic bread.  We decided we would grill some steaks and eat out on our balcony.

The view was beautiful, watching the sky change from color to color until the sun set for the evening.

I hide behind the curtain in the house to sneak a picture of Micah grilling.  He doesn't like taking pictures, so I was sneaky :)

Our yummy steaks.  I only ate half of one and Micah ate his whole one plus half. (we ended up having steak and eggs for breakfast on our Anniversary)

I wish this picture wasn't so blurry.

Our yummy dinner :)  So then the rest of the evening we spent enjoying each others company and watching a movie.  Friday night we celebrated our Anniversary all alone early.

I Love You MORE each day!

I love you more each new day we are together....

Happy Anniversary, honey

I'm looking forward to our next year together.

I love you

Lead me to your heart

The Lord is leading me to your heart.  By leading me to your heat He is leading us to His heart.  At His heart is the heart of our marriage.  Our marriage gains its strength from His heart.

Over these last few months I've been praying to God to lead us to the heart of our marriage.  He has promised good to be in our marriage and has promised to love us.  He has been there with us during our bumps in the road and during our little celebrations throughout this past year.  Yes, this past year has had more bumps in the road than our first and but as we have continued to to re-commit ourselves to each other and honor Him we have taken steps closer to Him and good changes in our marriage.

God is so powerful and an awesome.  Through our bumps in the road this year I have gained a new perspective and how to look at our marriage.  It's God's perspective and its much better than mine.  Its through his perspective that we will be lead to your heart and my  heart.  It is through Him that all things are possible and that all the "changes" and "improvements" in our relationship with each other and Him will come through Him.

Looking forward to our anniversary tomorrow.
I love you