I was reading my friends blog and she had a beautiful song posted. In listening to it I was lead to another song that I think fits with the things that have been going on with me.
Then here are the lyrics to another song I found that had the right words too.
I have Found by Kim Walker:
I have found a peace that plows on through the storm
I have found a joy that jumps over sadness
I have found a love that lights up every room
I have found, I've found you
You are all I want, you are all I need
Everything my heart could hope for
We are longing for the glory of the Lord
'Cause we know there's so much more
I have found a trust that teaches how to rest
I have found a grace that guides my by the hand
I have found a strength that stands like a mountain
I have found, I've found you
Only you fill my soul
Only you fill my soul
And lastly one more song....
The last several weeks have placed me in a place that all I could do was fall to my knees and let go of what I wanted to see come out of it all and just give it to God and let him handle the outcome.
The only thing that can take care of the need as in the song is having His Holy Spirit dwell in me and around me. He is never far and he is in control so the only thing to do is to follow His lead.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
The situation
The situation brought things into the light regarding areas in my marriage that need to change. I have been married now for almost two years (Sept. 3rd) and the road to this point has been extremely bumpy. It wasn't until recently that something really big came up in the middle of it all that really threw things off the road in such a big way that a friend of mine simply asked me "Are you a Christian?" by asking me that question it really put things into perspective. If I'm of the world I could walk away and start over again. If I'm a Christian then I was in it for the long haul no matter what. At that point I wiped off my tears and took a deep breath and I got down on my knees literally. I cried out in pray like I have never done before to the Lord.
Since then its been a process that still involved some tears and concerns but I'm thankful for the people that were placed in my path. These people didn't always say things that I wanted to hear but I listened then I processed it later. I began to throw myself into my Bible and have been in Psalms ever since.
I had a wonderful enlightening conversation with my mom and step-dad who offered a perspective that I needed to hear and understand.
I have also been reading a book. Its called Love Life for every married couple by Ed Wheat. It has been awesome! A change has taken place and I look forward everyday to doing my part. To really doing all that I do for the glory of God. Its not easy at times but in time I think it will get easier and its going to be a process that will take time but I'm ready.
The key I found in all this is that I had to submit, totally and completely submit to the Lord. I had only one choice in the midst of what I was feeling and going through and that was to depend on the one being that was in control and knew the answers.
It hasn't been too long but a few things have changed and suspect that there will be more to come in time. My pray life has changed. My relationship with Christ has gotten closer. My everyday thoughts and words and actions are coming more out of love and grace. I find myself talking to the Lord as often as I can and thanking him and asking him to keep guiding me forward.
I can only work on my part with Christ while he works on my husband and our marriage and I wouldn't have it any other way (and trust me sadly enough I've tried and it does not I repeat does not work).
The situation that took place has brought on recovery to my marriage, closeness with Christ, restored Hope and a realization of unending love and grace from the Lord above.
Since then its been a process that still involved some tears and concerns but I'm thankful for the people that were placed in my path. These people didn't always say things that I wanted to hear but I listened then I processed it later. I began to throw myself into my Bible and have been in Psalms ever since.
I had a wonderful enlightening conversation with my mom and step-dad who offered a perspective that I needed to hear and understand.
I have also been reading a book. Its called Love Life for every married couple by Ed Wheat. It has been awesome! A change has taken place and I look forward everyday to doing my part. To really doing all that I do for the glory of God. Its not easy at times but in time I think it will get easier and its going to be a process that will take time but I'm ready.
The key I found in all this is that I had to submit, totally and completely submit to the Lord. I had only one choice in the midst of what I was feeling and going through and that was to depend on the one being that was in control and knew the answers.
It hasn't been too long but a few things have changed and suspect that there will be more to come in time. My pray life has changed. My relationship with Christ has gotten closer. My everyday thoughts and words and actions are coming more out of love and grace. I find myself talking to the Lord as often as I can and thanking him and asking him to keep guiding me forward.
I can only work on my part with Christ while he works on my husband and our marriage and I wouldn't have it any other way (and trust me sadly enough I've tried and it does not I repeat does not work).
The situation that took place has brought on recovery to my marriage, closeness with Christ, restored Hope and a realization of unending love and grace from the Lord above.
God's Love & God's Grace Are Unmesurable
God's unending Love and Grace are unstoppable!
Our lives should be a witness to all and we should shout it out to all and share the Good News that the Lord brings when finally submit to His way and not our own!
Psalm 89:
Your love, God, is my song, and I'll sing it! love I'm forever telling everyone how faithful you are. I'll never quite telling the story of your love...
Psalm 100:
On your fee now-applaud God!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
Know this: God is God and God, God.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.
Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise,
Thank him. Worship him.
For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.
Psalm 117:
Praise God, everybody!
Applaud God, all people!
His love has taken over our lives;
God's faithful ways are eternal.
Hallelujah!
God makes everything come out right
God is sheer mercy and grace
He knows us inside and out
God's love is forever and always
It was by your grace Lord and your grace only that brought us out of harms way and into the light, your loving light. Thank you so much.
Our lives should be a witness to all and we should shout it out to all and share the Good News that the Lord brings when finally submit to His way and not our own!
Psalm 89:
Your love, God, is my song, and I'll sing it! love I'm forever telling everyone how faithful you are. I'll never quite telling the story of your love...
Psalm 100:
On your fee now-applaud God!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
Know this: God is God and God, God.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.
Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise,
Thank him. Worship him.
For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.
Psalm 117:
Praise God, everybody!
Applaud God, all people!
His love has taken over our lives;
God's faithful ways are eternal.
Hallelujah!
God makes everything come out right
God is sheer mercy and grace
He knows us inside and out
God's love is forever and always
It was by your grace Lord and your grace only that brought us out of harms way and into the light, your loving light. Thank you so much.
Shadows have lifted
Its been along time that I have felt like my family and I have been under the shadows of Satan. That I have felt attacked and that I have taken so much on in my own strength. My mom recently said to me that through my blog she has seen me in a dark, depressed and unhappy place. I simply said well that is life and its all good.
Yes there has been lots of storms, trials, situations and circumstances that haven't been the most upbeat happy things going on but apparently I lost something along the way. I didn't see it then and I'm not sure how I lost it. But I think I fell into the trap that is hard to get out of at times of "doing the right things, saying the right things, and talking to the right people" but not really listening or believing in the truth of God's word and relying on it.
Sure I go to ladies bible study and I go to church and I have a mentor and Christian friends and I'm involved in church activities but......somehow I lost the simple little dailyness of life. The part of totally being dependent upon the one that is totally without a doubt in control of my life!
He placed a situation a very tough situation in my path that brought me literally down to my knees crying out to Him. Brought to a place of repentance of my actions, desperation to set it right, prayers of wisdom and hope, and encouragement to move forward. A huge classroom was before me to learn and take heart to what needed to happen to make it through to the next moment and the next.
Over the last few weeks of crying, worrying, letting go, praying and reading Psalms things have finally come to a point that there has been a change. A change taken place inside of me that has made the world of difference in all I do each moment in each day.
I submitted to the Lord. I turned it all over to him.
The peace that it has brought is hard to put into words.
Yes there has been lots of storms, trials, situations and circumstances that haven't been the most upbeat happy things going on but apparently I lost something along the way. I didn't see it then and I'm not sure how I lost it. But I think I fell into the trap that is hard to get out of at times of "doing the right things, saying the right things, and talking to the right people" but not really listening or believing in the truth of God's word and relying on it.
Sure I go to ladies bible study and I go to church and I have a mentor and Christian friends and I'm involved in church activities but......somehow I lost the simple little dailyness of life. The part of totally being dependent upon the one that is totally without a doubt in control of my life!
He placed a situation a very tough situation in my path that brought me literally down to my knees crying out to Him. Brought to a place of repentance of my actions, desperation to set it right, prayers of wisdom and hope, and encouragement to move forward. A huge classroom was before me to learn and take heart to what needed to happen to make it through to the next moment and the next.
Over the last few weeks of crying, worrying, letting go, praying and reading Psalms things have finally come to a point that there has been a change. A change taken place inside of me that has made the world of difference in all I do each moment in each day.
I submitted to the Lord. I turned it all over to him.
The peace that it has brought is hard to put into words.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Vacation
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| Kyle & Sara had a chance to play with their Dad |
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| Karlee and her Dad (Scott) |
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| A sweet little family (The Griders) |
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| Old friends |
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| good times & old friends |
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| relaxing in my mom's backyard watching the hummingbirds |
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| my mom has enjoyed making herself a beautiful flower garden |
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| boys & guns |
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| Sara & her Papa driving the riding lawnmower |
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| My silly Karlee Girl |
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| Guess Who? |
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| long distance family (Karlee & Sara with their half sister Amber) |
Grilled pizza brought us together
My mom has been on a a grilling kick. Apparently a few weeks ago she a new grill and has been reading cooking magazines on different things to grill. We grilled chicken and fish on her grill, its new so things sort of stuck on it but the food was good once we got it off the grill. We decided while we were at my Dad's house we would grill pizza. So we looked thing up online and came up with a plan. Oh my gosh we had so much fun! They were really yummy and easy. I loved watching how we all gathered around and there were smiles and laughter all around. It was great to hear my Dad say over and over how much fun it all was. It was more than just grilled pizza it was a cherished family memory that will be reflected on with smiles and joy. My words can't really describe how that evening went but maybe you can see what I'm talking about with the pictures below.
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| Start with these... |
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| My mom and dad |
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| anything goes on a pizza, grilled steak, pepperoni, jalapenos..... |
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| yummy |
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| My step-dad Larry is sampling the first pizza |
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| My dad had such a good time |
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| My Pizza! fresh spinach, grilled mushrooms and cheese...it was so tasty! |
Stuff
It's been awhile since I've posted an entry on my blog. There has been tons and tons of things going on, good and not so good but so much so that in between it all I've really become very dependent on God. God has been working in my life for awhile now and good things have come from it. I've had so many things bounce around in my head but I'm having a hard time putting it all into words. Its rather frustrating but I've decided to just continue day by day and let things happen as God plans and when that moment happens for me to pull it all together in words then it will happen. Then it will be part of my testimony to use as witness to others.
The kids and I went to El Paso Tx to visit my family. We returned on Sunday and today I was just getting back into "normal life" again. Its crazy how it takes time to re-group after going on vacation to relax. I left Flagstaff stressed out and came back refreshed and feeling strong. I also was drawn to my knees to come totally dependent upon God again. There are times we get comfortable and maybe forget things and then God places something in our path to bring us back to where we need to be and it can be difficult at times but its so peaceful once you totally submit to him.
I left worried about the unknown and now I feel stronger and refreshed knowing that God is there. I knew God has been there but really knowing and believing are two different things. I took a break from what was going on here while in El Paso but I came back to the same unknown storm. While I was in El Paso I turned it all over to God. God is in control and I will remind myself of that from moment to moment until this storm has calmed.
I've spent most of my quite time in Psalms and it has been the most comforting, understanding, encouraging, hopeful, inspiring, powerful and peaceful place to be.
I think what I'm saying is: I stand strong with God beside me holding my hand and in the end things will be good and I will be alright.
The kids and I went to El Paso Tx to visit my family. We returned on Sunday and today I was just getting back into "normal life" again. Its crazy how it takes time to re-group after going on vacation to relax. I left Flagstaff stressed out and came back refreshed and feeling strong. I also was drawn to my knees to come totally dependent upon God again. There are times we get comfortable and maybe forget things and then God places something in our path to bring us back to where we need to be and it can be difficult at times but its so peaceful once you totally submit to him.
I left worried about the unknown and now I feel stronger and refreshed knowing that God is there. I knew God has been there but really knowing and believing are two different things. I took a break from what was going on here while in El Paso but I came back to the same unknown storm. While I was in El Paso I turned it all over to God. God is in control and I will remind myself of that from moment to moment until this storm has calmed.
I've spent most of my quite time in Psalms and it has been the most comforting, understanding, encouraging, hopeful, inspiring, powerful and peaceful place to be.
I think what I'm saying is: I stand strong with God beside me holding my hand and in the end things will be good and I will be alright.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Peace Restored
It is amazing to me how quickly peace can be restored in the middle of a storm. The presence of Christ is the difference in all areas of our lives. It is with this unity with Christ that brings peace to all that is around. I'm so grateful for this peace that comes from knowing Christ. To have peace doesn't necessarily mean that things are "fixed". Having peace in the middle of a storm even briefly can be just enough to get to the next part in the storm until it can really be over. I have found that sometimes to get to that peace I have made it more difficult on myself getting to that point of peace. Losing sight of the right perspective....God's perspective can have something to do with it. At the point that I found God's perspective and starting looking at it from His way and not mine was the moment the feeling of peace washed over me from head to toe. Thank you Lord for breathing peace into my life right now. Peace has been restored.
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