My life is full right now and I'm very blessed. Its been a long time that I can say that I'm happy. Truly happy with where I am at right now. Yes there are ups and downs and I'm not so thrilled with my job and then the challenges of being a single mom raising my three teenage children. Well two I guess, since my oldest daughter, Karlee has moved out and will begin a new chapter in her story of community college, working full time and living with room mates.
There have been several attributing factors that have had an impact on my happiness these days. Yes, I have kept some what to myself again and not posting much and being very careful with what I do post on Facebook but its because I'm living life again!
I'm very thankful for my Lord and Savior, he has brought me through so many storms of my life but the latest has been an on going one for some time now and has finally set sail to calm waters with bright light shining all around. It has taken time and has been a process. I think I've said it before but the best word to describe life is a process! The word is perfect because of all the many phases or stages or whatever you want to call them that you go through just to get to the other side that is the next chapter in your story.
Its been a journey with losing my dad, ending my second marriage, living on my own and being a single parent. I have gone through many stages of the process and one of them that lasted longer than I have wanted to admit to for so long was the depression. Depression had gotten a hold of me in so many ways that thankfully I can say its moved on from me. The next stage I've been going through and probably will continue a while is the healing stage. Healing of so many areas of my life inside and outside of myself.
As I said there have been many things that have helped me enter into this chapter of happiness. I'm a thriver! Lol what is that you ask well I've been involved in Thrive Le-vel since April now. I will have to share in depth in another post but in short its a great way to start your day with three simple steps of great vitamins, probiotics and a wearable nutrition patch that helps fill in all the gaps of lack of nutritional intake. These simple steps of great vitamins have helped me to feel better, have more energy and actually lose inches. Also I feel motivated and happy. I don't even take one of my meds for my fibro anymore!
Then there has been "new friends" that have come along side me and has helped pull me out! Out of my safe space at home! Out and about doing things! I never realized I missed any of it until I started getting out and about again. Crazy I know, to some and myself I was known for my cheerfulness and my happiness and energy and being a social butterfly but over the years I lost it and didn't pay much attention to it.
Always there will be my mom! My little mommy! My recent visit to El Paso TX a few months ago just by myself to visit. It was great in so many impactful ways! I love my mom and always will appreciate her and how she has raised me, and continues to be a part of my life.
I can't forget my kids, no matter what they keep me going. Maybe going crazy at times pulling my hair out, crying or laughing but they do keep life an adventure.
I'm thankful for the Lord. He always know what is needed in our lives and always has a plan. I have learned more and more about living in the moment. Living in the moment is hard and for a person like me that wants to plan or think ahead or invite worries and concerns that aren't even there yet, living in the moment has been so helpful and has made an impact in my life. Don't get me wrong its not easy but can be very rewarding and freeing.
Okay now we will get to the new person in my life that has come along adding more life and happiness into my life. (I know this world is only temporary and our home is with the Lord but to have a taste of peace, and happiness here on this crazy earth with so many negatives in it.....I'll take my chance for it!)
I met Ben through my new friends. Ben and I have enjoyed each others company for the last couple of months. Its been full of smiles and laughter! He is sweet, kind, thoughtful, attentive and a gentleman. He opens the door for me out and about and on his truck for me to get in it. Most of all and the biggest thing for me is that he accepts me.....yes me! He accepts me for who I am inside and out! It has made me realize how much my ex-husband really did a number on me with how I learned to feel about myself....I lost who I was and didn't think very nicely about myself, especially my outward appearance. I'm beautiful and wonderfully made by my Lord and Savior and others have seen it and others see it now, like me!
I don't know where any of this will go with Ben but for now Ben is apart of my life and I'm enjoying every moment that he is in it. I know some of you have said be careful, don't give away your heart just yet, and what about this or that. I hear you I do, and have asked myself things too and have thought this or that but really life is is living. I'm living again and I will take each moment however it unfolds and deal with it and keep moving forward.
Trust me I know storms may come, and heartache and issues and all that but until they do I'm not going to invite them into this chapter of my story. The Lord is the author of my story no matter how each chapter goes.
Its simple right now, I like Ben. Ben likes me. My kids see me happy and enjoy it. I'm happy.
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| Ben and I soaking wet from being rained on at the Dan & Shay concert. It was fun despite the rain. |
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| Having fun messing around with snapchat and taking funny pictures and laughing while waiting on Sara to finish up with the volleyball car wash on a Saturday afternoon. |
Living each moment one moment at a time.
Always being grateful
The two pictures above that are black and white I really really love! There is just something about black and white and how it can capture the unspoken words of that moment in that brought joy.
