Letting Go & Letting God

The other day Micah, a friend of ours and I were standing together talking and catching up on things with each other, smiling and laughing.  It was relaxed.  I stood there and noticed how much Micah and I are friends.  There was no tension standing there like that.  It was nice.  Micah and I have always been able to be friends, even off and on through the years.  I want to hold on to that and not lose that.

I went over to him later that day and said "I'm sorry things haven't worked out the way we wanted them to.  I want to have peace between us and no more ugliness and negative stuff between us.  I still don't want what is going on between us but I will continue to move forward as they are right now.  If you want to pursue a divorce I won't fight you on it.  I will just need you to help me as much as you can please.  If you change your mind with how you feel about us I'm here. I love you"  We hugged and kissed and he said he was sorry and then we parted ways and he went into the house and I went into the house next door.

I went back in and took several deep breaths and let a few tears fall and then I said a prayer.  It was hard to do but it felt like the right thing to do and it was amazing how the tension left.  I can love him from a distance and let God work in our lives.

I also sent him an email expressing how much I have value our friendship and that I don't want to lose that part of us.

Since then I have felt like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  It still hurts and is not easy at times but I know God is working in our lives and that good will come out of all this, He has a plan.


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I found the prayer below, expressing it so well....

LET GO, AND LET GOD

Today I let go and I let God

Take charge of this life of mine.

Now in the dark corners of my soul,

His light is beginning to shine

All of the cares and worries that

I have carried around so long

He has lifted them from my shoulders,

and filled my heart with love.

Problems that were overwhelming

suddenly seem very small,

and come what may, starting today,

I know I can handle them all.

 

An Emotional Uplifting Sunday

 The kids and I got up and ready for church.  Despite how I felt yesterday, with a heavy sad heart I awoke lighter and happier feeling.  That is only the work of the Lord and for that I'm very thankful.  I'm going to put something out there to share, and part of it is for me to start moving forward with the Lord walking beside me.

My husband and I have been separated for 3 weeks now.  Yesterday several things were said to me.  One of them being "As soon as I get money I'm going to go file for a divorce."

I was looking forward to going to church and enjoying fellowship and a potluck afterwards then go take pictures of a friend of mine and her family.  The kids and I dressed up a little too so we could take some too.

Greeted with hugs and smiles then we all settled in to sing and praise God.  Apparently there were heavy emotions floating all around this morning.  The music, the choices of songs were powerful.  The second to last song I was struggling with keeping the tears that were welling up in my eyes at bay.  My voice was silent as I stood there reading the words and swaying to the music.  I finally walked out and headed to the ladies room.  The door closed and the tears spilled out.  Shortly two friends came in and comforted me for a few minutes.  I dried up my eyes and headed back inside to sit and listen to the sermon.
 

 Your Great Name

Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of Your Great Name
All condemned; feel no shame; at the sound of Your Great Name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of Your Great Name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of Your Great Name

(Chorus)
Jesus, worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us
Son of God and man you are high and lifted up
That all the world will praise Your Great Name

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your Great Name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your Great Name
The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your Great Name
Sick are healed, and the dead are raised. At the sound of Your Great Name

(Bridge)
Redeemer, my Healer; Lord Almighty
My Savior; Defender; you are my King
Redeemer; my Healer; Lord Almighty
My Savior; Defender; you are my King

 

Came to my Rescue

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord all I am is yours

My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne

I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where you are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

The sermon this morning was a reminder of God knowing everything.  God has a plan and there are no surprises.  He knows what lays ahead for each of us.  He knows of the changes in my life, they were not a surprise to him.  He has a plan for me.

Where to I go from here?

My hope has been rekindled through the Lord but the dailyness of life can get in the way and I can find myself struggling to hold on to that hope.  My mind wanders sometimes and then my heart aches (and a few tears make their presence known) then I stop and begin talking to the Lord.  I eventually find myself on my knees again and over and over praying. 

Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless.  Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.

Nothing is Impossible

"I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, "Move from here to there, and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

It's easy to underestimate the power of faith at times.  However, as Jesus explains, it is very potent and only takes a small bit of faith to accomplish great things.  Lately I have felt overwhelmed with emotions and uncertainty in the storm I find myself in.   But I keep finding myself looking toward God.  I keep telling myself that God can provide a way for the storm to cease, and mountains to be moved.

God hasn't given up.  He hasn't lead me to give up either, even though I find myself wavering in the midst of it all.  I've always told my kids that its harder to the right thing, and to believe the right and good things because we stand out against the norm in the world but God is there and will help us as we stand strong in faith.

What is faith?  When you go against all logic to think or act based on a belief.

Dear Lord, you have shown me once again that nothing is impossible even in what seems to be an impossible situation.  The storm is not over but there is hope.  I pray that will continue to lean on you, rest in you and trust you.  Your plan is bigger than mine and through it all good will come from it.  Thank you Lord.

Satan's Trap

I feel like I've fallen into a little hopeless pit fall or trap that Satan set up for me.  Over the last few days I've begun to sort of lean towards the giving up side than the "looking up" side.

I'm sorry Lord.  I do not want to give up.  I will wait and listen for your guidance.  You know my desires, my needs, my heart and my pain.  Your plan for my life is holy and good and bigger than I could even try to do.  The only way through this storm I find myself in is to hold on tight to you Lord.  You will pull me from Satan's Trap.

Sunday's Sermon

Yesterday's sermon had me choking back tears by the end, between that and the worship music it was difficult.  I was longing for my loved ones to be next to me listening, but it was only my ears that heard.  The sermon was titled "Run baby Run" on Jonah Chapter one.

Jonah ran away from God in disobedience.  A storm developed because of his actions.  When we compromise, it is not a good thing, in fact its more like a killer.  One step of disobedience will spiral down to the next and the next...Sin always takes us further than we even want to go.  It starts in our minds with our thoughts then filters out into our lives through our actions and words.

Storms are apart of our lives.  I'm in the middle of one right now.  I know that God will use this storm for good and refinement.  Storms are important despite what you go through and all the pain or fear that might come with each one.

God will use whatever he wants to get our attention or that of those around us.  Our personal storms could be our disobedience or others that spills over into our lives.

When asking the Lord "What do you want me to do?" are you ready to do what he is asking you to do.  Its a question that I've been pondering. 

There are three things that we to do in order to have the Lord speak to us in the middle of our storms of life.

1. repent and believe in the gospel
turn from sin and run toward Christ

2. Don't quench the spirit
by not doing what He is leading you to do will quench the spirit

3. Do not grieve the spirit
doing what is clearly wrong, revealed in the scriptures He inspired will grieve the spirit

The question was put out there at the end....Why are you running?  Is it fear or pain or maybe its both?  Are you running from God or to God?

No one ever said being a Christian was going to be easy, in fact its hard at times.  A Christian's life is not without suffering.  Christ will also discipline us if we need it, after all he is our Heavenly Father.  One thing that also stuck out that I heard is the our lives are brief here and we are people of purpose.

Instead I'm going to ask more directly:  Lord what do you want me to learn?  How can this be used in the lives of others?

I heard the right things and sang the right things and said hello to the right people.  God is amazing and loving.  He takes such good care of us.  Thank you so much.

He jumped in my path again!

It is amazing how quickly and how unnoticed the devil can slip into your day!  But God always has a way of showing up and making his presence known too.

I have shed lots of tears today and there were words spoken out of frustration, and deep feelings that hurt but then there is the moment that God says stop and take a deep breath in.

I looked at my tear stained face over one more time and then I headed to the store to get a few items.

I walked out of the store and put the bags in the van and as I was taking the cart back I looked up and my breath was briefly taken away.

I looked up and saw a beautiful rainbow.  I couldn't help but smile and take a deep breath and say thank you Lord.

God's promises are forever.

Moving Forward with His Promises in My Heart

In this mornings sermon I was reminded that God is with us in all of our circumstances.  God loves us so much.  I'm so thankful that I was lead to these verses as reminders of His promises to each of us.  Thank you Lord.  I look forward to each new day with you and I believe that you are there with me no matter where I'm at in my life.

2Peter 1:4

And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 

Philippians 4:19

And this same God who takes care of me will supple all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. 

Proverbs 1:33

But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.

John 14:27

I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don't be troubled or afraid.