Need to think, do and explore

 I haven't done much today, its noon and I've finally showered and gotten dressed for the day.  I had been at home since last Friday after Sara and I had returned from my mom's house until yesterday.  Tuesday I was going to go to town to get out of the house and do a few errands but it snowed real bad and the roads were a mess.  It was nice to get out yesterday, Sara and I enjoyed lunch out together.  Today I'm finding myself restless again, the house is quite and I can't figure out what to do with myself or an excuse to use gas to drive into town today.  

I have done some yoga this morning, I enjoyed that.  I think I'm finally going to discover a few yoga shows on you tube that I will like.  I enjoyed a yogurt parfait for breakfast with my coffee. I wrote in my journal and read my devotional.  Now I'm stuck! Stuck in my thoughts trying to figure out what I want to do and look for in my next job. Kevin replied to my email, we have gone back and forth as he has been helping me with my resume.  He asked me what kind of job do I want.  That is a very hard question, I replied back to him but it was a bunch of babble so I'm sure it didn't help.

I find myself telling myself to enjoy the silence of being at home, tune in to myself as I explore yoga.  Sit and reflect on goals and habits that are good and that I'd like to add to my life. But instead I find myself struggling with lets go to town or what am I going to do for dinner!

I'm a little frustrated and want to just avoid and sit around not doing much but what will that do! It will put me in an unsatisfied funk and that is not a place I enjoy dwelling in for any length of time.

I'm back. I left for a couple of hours. In those hours I ate lunch and researched and watched some videos on you tube about different styles of yoga. I think I have decided to start doing some restorative yoga, it will be gentle and slow to try and then build my way up to another form of yoga for strength and other areas. I've also been fighting the idea of laying down and taking a nap.  I need to get the kitchen cleaned up so I can cook breakfast for dinner tonight.  

I have thought more about the suggestions from Kevin and plan on working on it more tomorrow.  I'm feeling a little more motivated and maybe a little encouraged to believe in myself again and what all I can do and have to offer a new employer.

I'm discovering that at times I need to step away and move my thoughts to something for a short time, or go have a quite moment to clear my head and possibly a moment to take a few deep breathes and maybe a few soft yoga movements to help regroup to be ready to continue what I was doing.  Its one thing to be able to do all that being home but how can I incorporate a few tiny moments like that when I start a new job and working all the time?

 Today I sit here at my table at home.  The house is quite. Sara is still sleeping, she doesn't have to go into work until 1:00 p.m. Ben and Susan are at work.  I was terminated with my job on Dec. 21st.  I sit here unemployed.  I don't like the feeling at all, its scary and nerve racking actually.  I did file for unemployment and I believe that will start on Monday.  I decided to look up my blog that I wrote on for so many years.  Last year in January on the 4th I said good-bye to all and turned it off from the world to view.  I have not written on it since that day.  I have missed it at times but not really either.  But for whatever reason I viewed it today and read my last post.  Apparently I needed to read my words from a year ago, they are what I needed today.  Its funny how that works, well not really, its a God thing!  So grateful that I don't try to do life without him. My fingers and hands hurt more when I write in my journal, I can't write as long as I'd like to at times.  I may start writing on my blog again so I can type out my thoughts.  I have found out that I have developed osteoarthritis in my knees and I'm sure in my hands as well.   I know I will continue to keep my written journal but maybe I will come back here at times.