The Seed was Planted

Last year I attended the Women of Faith Conference in Phoenix.  At one point there was an announcement about a conference similar to Women of Faith but for teens.  I tuned in quickly to listen to all the details.  I was soon filled with excitement thinking that would be perfect to take Karlee.

Then a few weeks ago I heard about the Revolve Tour on the radio.  I also heard that they were going to give away tickets.  I decided I would try to win tickets.  I wanted to take Karlee so bad but I knew that we didn't have the money.  I told my husband that I was going to try to win tickets.  To do so you had to be a follower on Twitter.  I didn't really know what Twitter was but that didn't stop me from looking into it.  It is similar to Face Book.  I signed up for an account and found the radio station and clicked on it to "follow it". 

A few day later I got an email saying that I had just won a CD, Hawk Nelson.  In the email I had to confirm my address so they could mail it me.  I was excited to win the CD but I was still going to hold out for the tickets.  By now I had heard that you had to submit a letter explaining why you thought your daughter should go to the tour.  I sent a message on Twitter inquiring the details so that I could get my letter written and sent off.  I think I mentioned briefly in that same message that my daughter would greatly benefit from the event.

A week went by and I didn't receive a reply.  Three days later my phone rang, it was a number I didn't recognize.  I almost didn't answer it.  I said "hello" and the ladies voice on the other end asked me if I was Katrina Trevathan.  She continued to tell me that her boss asked her to call all the people who recently won something and ask if they would like tickets to the Revolve Tour.

I called my husband he almost didn't believe me.  He told me that he had heard about it months ago on the radio and said to himself that he would love to send Karlee and I.  We were both excited about the opportunity that awaited Karlee and I.

The Revolve Tour

Karlee and went to Phoenix over the weekend and attended the Revolve Tour.  It was geared to teen girls.  It was an amazing weekend.  I would like to share our experience and blessings from the weekend.  I've decided to break it down some instead of doing a really long post which would be more a like book and just do little parts.  I think I will be able to express the many blessings that we encountered on our weekend better in small little segments.  I will post pictures too but truthfully I'm a bit frustrated right now, I am having trouble getting the pictures off of the camera.  But I will get the pictures posted some how some way because I also think that not only through my words but the pictures will express so many more words too.  To start it off in my first post I will talk about how it all came about that we were blessed with the opportunity to attend.  The first post will be how the seed was planted.  Please be patient while I process the weekend and write my little segments on it.  I hope you will follow along and discover and enjoy our little blessings from our special weekend.

But let me give you some background about the Revolve Tour.  The theme was DREAM ON.  With phrases like "With God, anything is possible",  "When you dream everything becomes possible" and "You were made to make a difference." The speakers were Chad Eastham, Jenna Lucado Bishop, Kathryn McCormick, Jamie Grace.   Worship Praise Band lead by Tiffany Thurston.  An amazing group of young adults for the drama team.  Three musical guests: Group 1 Crew, Hawk Nelson and Britt Nicole.

Each New Day

  I keep moving into each new day with hope in my mind,

Christ in my heart, expressions of love on my face and in may actions.

A difference it has made in my days since I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

Kyle Clate Crenshaw

Pa's house-Chaparral NM

First time in a boat on a lake-Elephant Butte

Leaning against Grandpa Larry's leg-Sandia Park NM

Cowboy Kyle-Sandia Park NM

Karate Kid Kyle

Fort Davis TX

Black eye boy/ Family Picnic-Fort Davis TX

Dirks-Anderson Elementary-Fort Davis TX

Fox Glenn Skate Park-Flagstaff AZ

4th grade field trip-Grand Canyon

Family Day at the Grand Canyon

 

Kyle Clate Crenshaw

I think most of these pictures can tell a story in themselves.  Today Kyle turns 11 years old.  I remember the morning he was born.  He was the biggest baby born since the new year had started in 2000.  They nick named him Samson.  He was 10 and half pounds and 20 inches long. He is such a loving, sweet, sensitive young man.  I love his hugs. 

I love you son, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

My daughter's heart

A tender heart that gets entangled 

in the craziness of the world she live in

trying to discover who she is

growing into the women she'll become

lost at times as she

falls into the ups and downs of her life

stumbling but

only to discover that 

the Lord is there

to pick her up as she

keeps walking toward Him.

Thank you God for placing your holy spirit inside her heart, please hold onto her tight in your hands during these times of being a teenager in this world we live in today.

Memory Lane

My dad came for a visit.  He brought with him some of my things that I've had in storage at his house.  You know the kind of stuff....high school year books, pictures of the kids, journals etc.  I have started to go through things but not in depth yet.  But the mere drifting back in time briefly has been nice.  I smile and laugh when I look back at my high school days, wondering where some of those people went that had once been in my life.  I made a stack of pictures of friends that I have found on face book and plan on going down memory lane with each of them.

I was excited to see all my journals again.  I didn't realize that I have kept a journal on and off again since about 1989.  I'm interested in reading through them to discover how I've become who I am today.  I even found some literary magazines that the school published with some of mine and my friends poems and stories that we wrote back then.  I haven't read over them yet but plan to.

I didn't realize the amount of pictures I have of all three of my kids.  I  have decided to go through them and sort them into groups to share with family members and then make a memory book for each child.  I've gone up and down a roller coaster of emotions as I've browsed through the pictures of my past.  It's all good.  It's just a representation of my journey.  I'd like to sit down and really examine my pictures and journals and look to see where I can see God had his hand in my life when I wasn't quite aware that he was there.

Parenting

The other day I had the pleasure of holding a tiny little baby girl wrapped tightly in pink.  I enjoyed holding her, cuddling her close to me and looking at her tiny face and all her little features.  Of course the moment caught some emotions and memories for me.  I do have children after all.  I traveled back in time remembering how each of them were brought into this world.  I do miss those stages when they were so small but I quickly remind myself how quickly they grow and change.

As a parent I have traveled through all the stages so far with my children from being infants to an 8 year old, an almost tween and the begining of the teenage years.   Each stage has offered its fair share of blessings and challenges but I've survived them all and have enjoyed them all too.  But lately I find myself asking "Did I sign up for this? or "Can I skip this part....?"

I have just recently felt like a failure and have wondered where did I go wrong. Why and how did this happen etc. I have learned recently that through my children's mistakes or bad choices I can learn from them too.  I know that we are all sinners and we all do things that are wrong or make bad choices.  I have had my fair share of them but my children will too.  They will do wrong.  They will make mistakes and choice poorly. But as a parent that is trying to raise them through God I'm finding myself so unprepared at times.  I realize that is probably how it should be because I'm learning and growing too and I'm not to have all the answers.  I'm to lean on God and teach my kids how to lean on Him also.

I had a reminder of how children will do wrong thrown out at me and the child isn't the only one to learn a lesson this time around.  But most importantly I saw how I could respond to the situation with truth and love.  Inside I was a mess trying to deal with the shock of the situation but I couldn't help but show the child how much I still loved them and always would.  I may not like the action or the words but would always love them.  I was able to respond out of love and the results were much better than if they were done in anger or anything else.

This parenting thing is a blessing and a challenge but without the Lord in my life I'd probably go crazy!

Valentines is just another day but LOVE is so much more.

 

 Romans 12:9-18

In my devotional this morning I came across some good advice that Paul gives to us on how to love one another and I thought it was fitting to share with everyone today since its Valentines Day.

• Love must be sincere
• Cling to what is good
• Be devoted to one another
• Honor one another above yourself
• Never be lacking in zeal
• Be joyful in hope
• Be patient in affliction
• Be faithful in prayer
• Share with God's people who are in need
• Practice hospitality
• Bless those who persecute you
• Rejoice with those who rejoice
• Mourn with those who mourn
• Live in harmony with one another
• Do not be proud
• Do not conceited
• Do not be repay anyone evil for evil
• Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody
• If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone

All of the above I can apply to any of my relationships with my kids, friends, family, and husband.  There have been times that I may have not shown love in the ways listed.  I look at it and like what I read but I have to be honest and wonder how often do I really try to do all of those things.  I'd like to say most of the time and maybe I do but...
I'm going to print this list of advice from Paul and put it in my purse and look at it from time to time just so I can stay on the right track of loving others in my daily life.

I remember a time when I thought Valentines Day was something to look forward to.  A time to plan and make as special as I could.  But as time has gone by and different people have come and gone in my life the whole idea of Valentines Day has become very different.  I can remember some good ones and some bad ones, from chocolate covered strawberries, arguing, as a single mom making special treats for my children, to discovering the worst news ever about someone that changed my life and my daughters.  Then starting a new life, marriage with someone who just says its just another day.  Well maybe he has a point and I plan on telling him thank you ( he may not understand what he's done but he should know that I'm thankful just the same)  He has helped me think of Valentines Day in a new light.

If you look at it like another day there would be no set up for disappointment, no frustration on trying to find the perfect gift to say I love you. (when all you need to do is just say it)  Leave the day to itself and there may be little surprises or not but in the end I still go to sleep next to the one I love.  I think Valentines Day can be a day to really work on loving others, just by doing that would take a lot of energy but leave you with great rewards. 

My husband mentioned something to me the other night about Valentines Day should be a day to take out someone single.  I thought about it and liked the idea.  (We were going to but can't right now, its not in our budget this time)  Its the whole idea of thinking of others than ourselves. 

I think what I'm getting at is that any day can be special.  Any day can be cherished as long as we love each other.  Why go to such great lengths when you already have one another, and for me and my husband we not only have each other but we have Christ right in the middle of us and that I find so much peace, comfort and love in.

So for me today, its just another day that I can take the opportunity to love others and make all the little moments special just as they are as the day unfolds.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Dear God of Love, I pray that I will love others well today.  I pray that You will fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that I can overflow Your love to those around me.  I know that loving others is Your most important command.  Help me to keep that foremost in my mind and in my actions this day.

Honoring My Husband

I have recently discovered 5 things I can do to honor my husband.

Become a channel of God's love to my husband.  LOVE my husband with my whole heart, as I love God and my neighbor, enemy or self.  Just LOVE  him.

TREASURE my husband.  Treasuring is an attitude I can carry in my heart, a conviction I can hold deep inside.  The best decision I can make is to treasure my husband.

RESPECT my husband, never tear him down with my words or actions.

SERVE my husband with joy and a smile.

FORGIVE my husband. Let go what bothered me and do not bring it up again.

I am to love, treasure,respect, serve, and forgive my husband in all circumstances, no ands, ifs and buts!

LOVE my husband.  God loves me. God loves my husband.

Happy Valentines Day

On The Same Page

Lately there seems to be so many moments that I don't understand my husbands rhyme or reason.  His way of thinking is usually so different than mine.  At least it seems to start off that way.  I'm discovering at times (not always) but at times we do end up on the same page.  I get frustrated because I don't understand and I can't get him to understand me.  I to also get frustrated because its not the same right at the time I'm talking.  (see there is that I'm, me and my way and time again....when am I'm going to realize that its God's time and His way!)

Anyways I  usually end up walking away frustrated or I want to end the conversation and move on.  But then later when I reflect back things slowly make sense.  Now its only because I've given it time, space and a chance for the Holy Spirit to  work.  Most of the time I can see where I went wrong other times I'm not so sure.

So Last night we went to the church for a Valentine's Day dinner.  It was very nicely decorated and cozy.  The food was good.  Our dinner conversation was good to a point then it took a brief turn for the worst.  I made a comment about goals and said the first thing that came to mind.  Micah doesn't really set goals and I think that goals are a good thing.  So I mentioned about setting a goal of being able to go on a trip together, just the two of us.  Well let's just say that after he first opened his mouth and finished his first sentence I was ready to change the subject and move on.

I realize now that we are on the same page.  Family is important to him too.  Being with the kids as much as he can when he's not at work is okay with him.  That is how it should be.  We are here to raise our kids and be there for them now while they are all under the same roof.  "Our time" will come later in life, during the season of no kids in the house.  So I"m to make the most of the "our time" that we have now, like when the kids are at school and he and I can have breakfast together or meet for lunch.  When the kids are all scattered at friends' or activities.  When we go to Wine Styles,the movies,or out for dinner, going to the store together, the kids are asleep.  When I really look at it there are so many opportunities to spend together.  I just need to stop thinking about how few or many and enjoy the time by making the most of those moments.

FAMILY

My strongest desire is Love.   There have been times that all the love and good things I want for my family has interfered with what God wants.  I think I have had to slow down and take a look at things to make sure I'm not putting anything ahead of Him as an idol.  My intentions are good and well meant but once again not in my control or timing.  So I struggle with moments when I see so much love and happy moments that take place in my family that I try to take it beyond that, and that is when things get bogged down.  There will be times that not everyone gets along but the love is still there.

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Dear Lord, I want to become a woman who listens to you.  I come to you today with a seeking heart, asking not only for direction but for discernment, humility and dependence on you--each step of the way.  Amen

Life lived in the spirit, and in the presence of Jesus, is one of continually unfolding amazement.  Miracles surround us daily if only we have eyes to see.  Jesus will give you and me a new pair of eyes.

Be Quite Please

On Saturday I got together with a friend.  We went to see a movie. Then we ran around looking for a Pittsburgh Steeler T-shirt for another friend of ours so she could wear it at the super bowl party we would all be at the next day. 

I had a great time hanging out with my friend.  However I never thought I would gain some insight into things with my husband and I in regards to communication.  I mentioned a few things to her thinking I was right in the way I was thinking and that she would agree with me.  It seems to help us feel good at times when we have someone on "our side".  (obviously we are forgetting that Jesus is on our side) But instead she laughed and laughed some more and then would say how funny I was.  Well I was confused at first and felt a little odd, but despite those feelings of not totally understanding what was going on I also found myself laughing too. 

She would then explain why she was laughing and her thoughts on the topic that had been brought up by me.  A huge click of a light bulb could be heard in my  head as she spoke. (you know those aww ahh moments that you all of a sudden see things clearer now) This went on for most of the time we were together. 

In the end we didn't find a t-shirt for our friend, but a gold colored scarf instead.  We laughed a lot and I realized that I just need to be silent most of the time.  Well when I thought about it I struggled with it because I knew I would have a hard time being quite at times.  Don't get me wrong I know I can talk and need to talk at times. 

The times I'm talking about are the ones that I don't take time to "think before speaking", the ones I'm quick to react to because I'm frustrated or have hurt feelings or felt mis-understood.  Those are the moments that I need to say to myself  "be quite please".  I take things my husband says the wrong way that he never meant for me to take the way I did. (which he doesn't understand after I try to explain where I was coming from, now I see why)  I read too much into what was said making it more than what it should have been.  My good intentions of trying to communicate in a good way have back fired for so long that I really just need to BE QUITE!  Think of all the craziness I could stop with my emotions, frustrations and things if I would just not over think things at times and be silent!


Proverbs 31:26
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue."

James 1:19

This you know, my beloved brethren.  But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger

1Peter 5:14 "greet one another with a a kiss of love"

Other quotes I found:
"Healthy communication is the lifeblood of love.  A relationship will only be as good as its communication"

"A sharp tongue can cut your own throat."

Father I want to please you and encourage others with the words I speak. Transform my mind and fill my mouth with words that honor and please you.  Basically Lord help to keep my mouth shut when needed.  Help me just take the words in and not put more than what is needed for that moment.  Lord you know how I like to communicate and talk well help me do less of it when needed and then use my skill when its really really needed. :)

Side note: The next morning- My husband laughed when I shared some of my conversation that I had with my friend yesterday.  I knew then that he agreed and thought that "be quite please" would be a good idea at times too.  I smiled and told him that I loved him and he chuckled and said that he loved me too and gave me a little a kiss. 

I sat there with light bulbs clicking on in my head knowing I had the right idea.......

Changes After All

A full time job or not.  Changes did come about not in the way a full time job would have brought about but in a smaller, more meaningful and lasting way.  It brought the attention to one of my desires that has stirred around in me for a while now.  A desire that frustrates me at times, and warms my heart with happiness at the same time too.

FAMILY

Being available.

for the quick little moments and opportunities to be with my husband during the day, for lunch or run an errand for him or to talk

Being available.  

for the kids after school, the homework, the opportunities for intimate conversations, the frustrating moments to learn and grow from.

Being available.

to go pick the kids up from school if they are sick, to stay home and care for them when they are sick, to go watch their games, or plays or presentations at school

Being available.

to have the energy to cook a good meal for my family, to have time to care for my needs (bible study, the gym, my writing time) all of which help me became the person needed for them

Being available while the kids are at home.  Being available to my family during this season of our lives will not last forever.  

 

Back to the "job" thing don't get me wrong I'm not totally opposed to a job, but a part time one.  I know that God will place the right opportunity in my path for things to work out according to his plan.  God will be there to pull us through all the details of our lives and that is enough for me.  Not knowing the hows and whats are alright.  Being open to Him is all I need to be for my family.

Insights

Yesterday I wrote about the job opportunity that didn't happen for me after all.  I began to think about it and looked at my post.  If you look back at it there are a few words in the first paragraph that are italicized.  The words were:  fall back, make husband happy, benefits and changes.

When I look at the words falling back that offers comfort like a security blanket instead of growing or being challenged.  The words make my husband happy, well that seems like I've forgotten who I'm suppose to make happy and praise so that good will come out of it all.  God

Benefits, that would make life easier to have access to insurance, improved fiances etc. well that only looks like I don't trust who is providing for my family and I and is the one always there taking care of our needs as needed (despite our timing) God

And the word changes brought along all kind of worries.  Worries about changes that would be worked out through faith and trust of my Lord and Savior.   I came up with so many worries and so many changes and questions of how would this work or what about this and that?  It didn't bring much peace to me.

But through it all I did grow closer to God in my quite time.  My quite time seemed more productive, more centered around God.  My prayers were more often.  I was reminded that what we may want or not want is not up to us but up to Him.  He has the plan and He will work all the details despite our own understanding. 

A Job?

About a week ago I applied for a full time job.  I was excited for an opportunity to fall back into the things I know around an office.  At the same time part of me didn't want to apply.  I felt like it would make my husband happy.  I could see the benefits but I could also see the down side that brought changes and that is where I found myself struggling.

After I applied I found myself not wanting to talk about it to anyone.  I would change the subject quickly when the few people that knew brought it up.  It would change so many things around me that I started to get bogged down by it all.  I sort of felt for a brief moment that if it was talked about too much then it would happen. (silly me playing into all that nonsense....hey I"m not perfect)

Then I decided to give it to the Lord.  I prayed about my concerns.  Talked about my hearts desire and then I worked on letting it go.  I found myself constantly throughout that day and the next, trying to take it back and then keep sending it His way through prayer.  By the 3rd day I was okay.  I felt at peace and knew that either way things turned out that God would work out all the little details that I worried about.  During this process I did see how much my husband really wanted me to get the job.  That bothered me since I was struggling with "the what if I got it and what about this and than..."

I have continued to go on about the things that fill my daily life.  I've taken on a new project at the church with other ladies.  I look forward to Karlee's next basketball game at school.  I look ahead into the week and weekend to make sure I have all my ducks in a row.  I make a few phone calls for MOPPETS.  I double check that things are ready for Thursday.  Life happens.....

So yesterday on my way over to my grandmother's house after bible study my phone rings.  Its the call, that may change things or it may not.  I listened, commented a little and smiled and said that sounds great.  I didn't get the job but I will train as a back up person to help out when needed.

I called my husband and to tell him.  He was real quite on the phone.  I asked him if he was disappointed and he said yes.  I babble on in my own upbeat way that it was all good and being quite content with the outcome.  The whole time there was more silence on the phone and I started to feel awkward so we ended the call and went about out way.

So it wasn't in my plan right now to take on a full time job but I know that around the corner God is preparing for something else that is in the plan of my life right now.

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you."