A Job?

About a week ago I applied for a full time job.  I was excited for an opportunity to fall back into the things I know around an office.  At the same time part of me didn't want to apply.  I felt like it would make my husband happy.  I could see the benefits but I could also see the down side that brought changes and that is where I found myself struggling.

After I applied I found myself not wanting to talk about it to anyone.  I would change the subject quickly when the few people that knew brought it up.  It would change so many things around me that I started to get bogged down by it all.  I sort of felt for a brief moment that if it was talked about too much then it would happen. (silly me playing into all that nonsense....hey I"m not perfect)

Then I decided to give it to the Lord.  I prayed about my concerns.  Talked about my hearts desire and then I worked on letting it go.  I found myself constantly throughout that day and the next, trying to take it back and then keep sending it His way through prayer.  By the 3rd day I was okay.  I felt at peace and knew that either way things turned out that God would work out all the little details that I worried about.  During this process I did see how much my husband really wanted me to get the job.  That bothered me since I was struggling with "the what if I got it and what about this and than..."

I have continued to go on about the things that fill my daily life.  I've taken on a new project at the church with other ladies.  I look forward to Karlee's next basketball game at school.  I look ahead into the week and weekend to make sure I have all my ducks in a row.  I make a few phone calls for MOPPETS.  I double check that things are ready for Thursday.  Life happens.....

So yesterday on my way over to my grandmother's house after bible study my phone rings.  Its the call, that may change things or it may not.  I listened, commented a little and smiled and said that sounds great.  I didn't get the job but I will train as a back up person to help out when needed.

I called my husband and to tell him.  He was real quite on the phone.  I asked him if he was disappointed and he said yes.  I babble on in my own upbeat way that it was all good and being quite content with the outcome.  The whole time there was more silence on the phone and I started to feel awkward so we ended the call and went about out way.

So it wasn't in my plan right now to take on a full time job but I know that around the corner God is preparing for something else that is in the plan of my life right now.

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you."