Work or Family?

Lately my hours for work have been very low.  I'm complaining a little bit but then I look around see what all needs to be done or has gotten done and realize that maybe I'm not suppose to worry about working right now, instead its family that I need to focus on.

School starts on the 12th, so there is all the running around of getting supplies, "needed" clothing items.  Then there are the mornings this week that I have to go register one here and then the other there.  Throw in the doctor check ups and sport physicals and then add a little normal routine things in the mix of it all.....laundry, cleaning and cooking dinner....where does "work" fit in.  Oh wait I was working....just not getting paid in monetary value.

On Monday I worked downstairs in our home.  We rent the bottom floor out and we have new renters moving in soon.  I actually was quite productive on that day.....cleaning the whole house and then some.

Tuesday was a great day!  I didn't plan it, but He did and I'm thankful that He did.  I started my Tuesday morning, heading out the door to ladies bible study, followed by a women's ministry meeting, ending it with going into the office and working the rest of the day in the church secretary's office so she could go home and relax since she didn't feel well.  I loved every minute of it.  I went to church in the morning and didn't leave until 5 pm.  I enjoyed all the fellowship, encouragement, smiles and hellos, and whatever the next moment brought.

Today.  Today is Wednesday.  It's been a pretty good day.  I'm more tired today than I've been lately.  Fighting at having energy for the rest of the day.  Kyle and I went to register him for the 8th grade then ran a few errands together.  For lunch I moment up with a wonderful friend at the Wildflower Bread Company and enjoyed a great salad while spilling out every word I could possibly find in my whole entire being!  No really I had way  more to share/talk about and question than I really knew.  But she is a great listener, and offers another perspective for me to look at things and make a little more sense and lead me back to hope and endurance again.  After that I came home and finished things up downstairs for the new renters.

I took a break to write this and now I've sat too long and have to find the energy to go make beef paprika for dinner......

So my hours may not be what I think I need them to be but I think my work is home bound for now.

Reflection on the week

God's inspiration goes a long ways.....its like a light when its dark.......a happy break from when things aren't going well......a ray of hope that lasts longer than the not so good moment.

Looking back at the week has brought up some interesting little turns and things but in the end I'm still able to get through each day with the Lord beside me.

I don't remember much about Monday but on Tuesday evening we had a very sweet and dear family over for dinner, the former youth pastor.  I didn't realize how much I had missed being around his wife.  I love her insight and outlook on things.....it challenges me.  He has been visiting my step-son and doing a bible study with him.  It was great sharing what we each have seen going on with him.  His wife asked me how my health has been, she knows I have Fibromyaligia.  I told her that it was there and I just deal with it but now I think I can add something else to the list of things......but I will check it out more with my doctor appointment on the 8th.

Oh Tuesday after bible study until about Wed night I was super charged with God!  I was just consumed with energy to write out each thought that came to me.....to explore my bible and the verses that I had highlighted and notes written in the margin.  I think I have discovered my purpose.  It's all a mess right now on several pieces of paper and not quite together yet, a bunch of scattered thoughts.  I'm meeting with the one who helped start all of it for me, the speaker from Tuesday morning, our assistant pastor's wife some time soon.

But then......there was a turn for the next few days, not a very good one, a moody frustrated one.  This mood made me miserable for my family to be around.  There were moments that I wasn't proud of, I did ask for forgiveness from the Lord and the appropriate people.  Along with this moody I wasn't feeling good either and then on top of that it affected my body with having Fibro so I felt like a giant mess that just wanted to hide and never be seen or heard from again.

I found myself stuck in the mood and couldn't get out of it.  But I kept moving on day by day, soon it was the weekend.  My husband didn't really know it at the time but despite how I felt the night before and silently cried myself to sleep, that on Saturday he was going to help me with out even knowing it.  He and I went to eat breakfast and then to  Sams Club together and then later we went out shooting (I practice shooting my gun...not very good)

Just by getting out and doing something really helped me.  Being outdoors and with him was the best thing I needed to help get me out of the mood.  Today on our way home from church I shared that with him and told him thank you.  I don't think he quite understood but he smiled anyways and said okay.

Today is Sunday and its been a good day, sunny and bright.  We enjoyed church and the BBQ afterwards.  But then we get home and my ex-husband came by to pick up Sara and we had a conversation that left me with a tight neck and shoulders and instant body aches and everything else that goes with the wonderful thing of having Fibromyligia.  It got worse as time went on and I shared it Micah and he said to drop it, nothing I could do about it.  It ate at me and it bothered me so much that it did that!

Shortly after I decided to walk the dogs, soon the cool breeze floated across me, the air smelled like rain, I really was starting to relax.  Its evening now and I'm feeling better.  Today has been a good day, not too tired or moody :)

Thank you God for making the most out of each moment no matter how I might be feeling.

Very Thankful

I'm feeling very thankful and excited inside.  Yes, I think excited it a good word....that sort of anxious but good feeling when you see good things going on around you and then you can't wait to see what's next.

It's my step-son Dillon.  God is working in him, I can see it.

He just sent another letter and it was addressed to each person in this house.  By the end of the letter I was in tears.  Tears of joy and blessings, prayers have been answered.

Things are along way from being......I'm not sure the word but the point is that its the process of it all.  The process is what is the most important part of anything going on in someones life...big or small.

I continue to give it all to God and I'm so glad I'm not the one having to do it all....He is and He is amazing.

I just wanted to share that little things such as a letter with a few thoughtful words on the paper and the noticing that "someone is trying" and yes there is pain and sorrow there but in the midst of it all is HOPE!

Hope is amazing and its the fuel that I have found that really does help me get from one step to the next or one moment to the next and the next....no matter how many times I fall and question and wonder  how "this" is going to work or why it is what it is... I can't help but hang on to the HOPE in him...
His heavenly hope!

(my eyes are full of tears, my heart is full of love for my amazing Savior as I write this....thank you Lord)

Moment to Moment

Today after Ladies Bible Study my youngest daughter, Sara tells me that she has something to ask me and hopes that I won't disappoint her...."Mom I'm hungry.  Can we go to Wildflower and have some yummy soup in a bread bowl?"  I looked at her and I couldn't help but she how much she really wanted to go, and I was thinking that I really shouldn't spend the money, since my checks have been very small without many  hours working.  Then I thought it would be nice to have some one on one time with her and hear more about her experience at leadership camp recently.  Finally "I said okay".  Her face lite up with joy and her blue eyes were brighter than normal.

It was a joy to spend time with her eating soup and talking.  I found myself looking at how much she has grown and how she Is growing now.  She is my baby and will be in 5th grade this year, her last year in Elementary.  I can see how God has touched her little heart and I'm excited to see how He will use her in the future.  I also noticed that in Wildflower she was so happy and chatty.  She told me how much she loves this place and how she feels happy.  She likes seeing all the different people that meet and greet each other and then they find a table to enjoy each other's company.  I started to look around and see how many groups of friends, co-workers, sisters, people were all around us.  Some were smiling, and laughing, others were in serious business like conversation and then across from us there was a young women and an older one.  The older woman sat and listened while the younger women spoke and shed a few tears.  I have met a good friend of mine to talk with and share lunch too.

I thought it was interesting how my daughter was able to pick up on all that she saw and take it in and think as she did.  I at that point could only sit and look at my daughter in awe as she talked about whatever came to her little mind.

I'm very happy that I took the time and money to share such a moment like we had together.  Thank you Lord for putting that moment into my path today.

A day with my husband

Every summer since we've moved here, the kids and I are always in El Paso Texas visiting family during the Celtic Festival.  My husband went last year by himself.  It's okay that he went by himself, but I really wanted to go too.  This year I made a point to plan our vacation to Texas before the Festival.

Today my husband and I enjoyed a fun day with awesome music, good food and each other's company.

For me I relaxed knowing all my kids were busy and taken care of and there would be no stress leaving in the mad house of a parking lot....since all we had to do was walk up to our house :)

This group was the best!

The clouds built all around us but it didn't rain :)

Fish & Chips!  (and a dark beer) The fries were great, with garlic and vinegar.  (I'm glad I took my husband's recommendation....quite tasty)

My husband & I
I'm thankful for the time we spent today together.

Summing up Vacation

The star on Trans Mountain

on the other side of that flag is Juarez Mexico

enjoying the nice hotel my mom got for our "staycation"

getting ready to shoot Grandpa's guns

Sara

Kyle and his best friend Sean

Los Lunas (on our way home)

My Mom and Her Yard

Every summer I enjoy sitting in my mom's backyard.  Most mornings we enjoy our coffee out there and then sometimes in the evening we'll have a glass of wine.  She also has a hot tub in the midst of her beautiful yard that we enjoyed too.  We always enjoy the one on one time and conversation.

Chaparral Style

One thing that my daughter did with her Grandpa on vacation was....learn how to parallel park.  She drove his truck, which she really enjoyed and she parked between two big boxes instead of cones.  It worked and she did really well.

A new tradition

Last year we went out to Chaparral and grilled pizzas at my dad's.  We had so much fun and they were really good.  The whole process just really helped bring us all together to enjoy some family time and create memories.

This year we grilled pizzas on my Dad's 63rd birthday.  Once again it was great yummy fun!  So I think we will continue doing this every summer we go visit my dad.

Vacation to Texas 2013 (Day 1)

To start the week off, on Sunday my mom and Larry took us to Las Cruces NM to the Farm & Ranch Museum.  I enjoyed all of it, the animals, the scenery, the old timey things inside, the old tractors and the black smith demo.  But I think the boys like the Black Smith Demonstration the most and the girls I think liked it all....although I have to wonder with Karlee, every fake animal she saw she was kissing it for some strange reason.  They all were very easily entertained when it came to the milking demo machine on display.....they really enjoyed putting their thumbs in the hole to feel the pressure and the sensation that a cow would feel while being milked.   The Blacksmith made a nail and Kyle was excited to keep it.  Kyle's best friend Sean joined us this year on our trip to El Paso Texas.

After the  Museum we headed to the Mall to do some shopping and have lunch.  It was a great day and a great start to our week.

Finding the Joy

Today is the 4th of July!  Happy Independence Day Everyone!  My daughter Karlee and I went to the parade here in Flagstaff AZ.  I have to say that I really didn't want to.  I think that after living in a small town as Fort Davis TX and their 4th of July parade sort of spoiled it for me....we had a great parade there.  Karlee wanted to go with a friend and her family so we did. We met up with them.  I enjoyed being around them.

While watching the parade for a bit, Karlee leans over to me and says see mom "Ft. Davis didn't have an awesome eagle in it".  I laughed and told her thank you for finding the joy and pointing it out to me.

I had fun at the parade.

The eagle was my favorite!

My daughter's smiling face and her sunny outlook really made the parade extra special!

My youngest, Sara was in the parade with some friends from her school.  (she is the little blonde girl waving)