March Catch Up!

Its been awhile since I've posted anything.  All of a sudden March sort of got away from me with all that has been going on.  This will be a quick update, things should be slowing down some now that a few changes have taken place.

At the beginning of March, the first weekend, Karlee said let's go get all of our stuff out of that room at Micah's.....so we did.

I have been keeping a journal since 1988, I was 15 years old.  It's been interesting looking through and reading some of them.  I love that I have these to look back on.

Spring struggled to spring forward with Winter trying to say no.

Still happy and loving this guy :)

I was driving back from dropping Ben off at work and this was my view. I thought it was cool with the pink light was coming down in the middle.

I rode along with Ben when he had to go get a load of water, the view on this side of the mountain out here in Parks is so pretty!

Still trying to find Spring lol

Thats the back end of what was Kyle's truck.....going to go sell it.  We took it to a tiny little used car lot and within 10 mins. had it sold, collected the money in cash and that was that.  The money will sit in savings to add more to it as I can so that I can find something for my youngest daughter, my last kid that has her drivers license.

Well that is basically March.  I now sit here on the last day of March, on my couch out in Parks in Ben's house.  Yep we moved Thursday, Friday and finished up yesterday.

Oh and Sara is exercising her right as a normal 16 year old girl......red hair.  I rolled my eyes when I saw her and her friend that did this to their hair.  It will wash out after so many washes.  Its been fading to a hot pink shade lately.  Girls will be girls.

This is my view from my couch right now.  Ben on the other coach and the living room and kitchen full of boxes everywhere.

It's a little overwhelming but in time we will get things unpacked, in place and organized until then we need to rest and get ready for our new work week and my new drive to work each day from Parks into Flagstaff.

Happy Sunday!

My Son

Wrote 2/27/19

My son is tall and he has to lean over to hug me.  I have to sort of stand on my tippy toes to reach him and stand there to hold him when he allows me to linger a bit during a hug.

My son is quite and keeps to himself but can be the life of the party with his laughter, funny voices, and smile, when he is surrounded by family and friends.

My son is a very sensitive person.  He is very caring and dedicated.  He is very protective of his family.  He has a handful of close trusted friends.  he would do anything to help a friend in need.

My son has a tender heart and he struggles when he has been let down.  He also has a temper but he is aware of it and works hard to keep it in check when things get  heated.  He says he is sorry when he is wrong.

My son thrives on routine and feeling secure.

My son loves to relax with his video games after he has had a long day of work.

All this to say is that its hard to see my kids struggle.  My heart aches for them.  I can't fix things for them, like when they were small but even then.  Two of my kids are young adults living on their own making decisions daily.  I have to be there with comfort, encouragement or a little guidance and then let them go.

Yesterday Kyle came over briefly on his way home from work.  Dinner was just being put in the oven.  He was tired and just wanted to go home.  I gathered up leftovers from the night before and some Texas Chocolate Sheet cake that I had made in honor of his birthday (2/23/19 turned 19).

He lingered for a bit, shared small talk with Ben and then soon he released it.  He shared his frustrations with his friend/roommate.  He was hurting and struggling with doing what he knew was right to keep the peace while his friend was treating him ugly.

He talked and talked, he needed to.  Ben and I listened.  I did tell him how proud I was with how he was handling the situations.  I know it was hard for him but he knew it was the right thing to do.  He knows he has to make the most of it until things improve or until he can live on his own when their least is up.

He doesn't understand what the problem is with his friend.  He tried to talk to him and help him but he just got mean with his words and actually shoved Kyle and shouted out for the neighbors to hear.  He walks around in silence and ignores Kyle.  It is hurting Kyle and he just wants his friend to chill out and recognize how he is acting and say sorry.

Kyle came over to give me a hug before he left.  I was in the kitchen.  He bent down and our arms went around each other and then he let it out.  He lingered and lingered and I help on to him tight and gently swayed while he clung to on to me as well and relaxed and safely was able to release his emotions and his tears of frustration on my shoulder.

My heart was full but ached at the same time for him.  It was such a deep moment, a moment to cherish.  I held him until he was ready to release his arms from around me and then he was ready to wipe his eyes, take a deep breath and go home to his place and face the silence again.

During our embrace I told him how much I loved him, how proud I was of him and how much I knew this was hard and how he was struggling.  I encouraged him to keep doing what he knews to do,  to hang in there and that it would be alright.  I encouraged to let it out and that I was there for him and always will be.

He cried.  He cried hard and I held him.

February Moments

Wrote on 2/18/19

My favorite time of the day is the morning.  Its a new day.  Its quite and peaceful.  If I'm by myself I can be still and reflect.  If I'm with others then I can have a cup of coffee and share in conversation.

I've noticed that I start my day with one cup of coffee.  Just one cup every morning.  Things seem a little off when I don't not so much with the need of it, just the routine I guess.

In some ways routine can be everything.  It can make someones day or break it.  Having a routine can help start a new day on the right foot.

Wrote on 2/22/19 at 8:12 a.m.

This morning I sit comfy on my couch under a soft blanket, in my jammies.  Because of the crazy snow storm we had yesterday I don't have to go to work today.  I'm so thankful for that.  Its a lot for me to get out in the cold and drive in the weather.  It stresses me out and get my  anxiety going.  I try to be calm, with music on the background, I go slow and easy but then I start the worry of others around me.  In moments like that on several occasions, yesterday being one of them I start to pray out loud and talk to God.  I also talked to my daddy.  I found comfort and courage to keep moving forward on the road home yesterday.  Challenges and things we find difficult do help us to grow and to lean on God. 

The other side of it all was that being at home the next few days slowed me down to do things I hadn't done in a while. 

Called my Uncle and my Grandmother
Painted my fingernails
Relaxed with a few documentaries and hot tea
the list goes on.....

It was nice to slow down a bit and take some time to just sit still.