My Brother's Visit

Sharon, Jason and Diego.  This will soon my brother's little family.  Sharon and Jason are engaged.  She is a teacher in Albuquerque NM.  Diego will be in Kindergarten.

My brother and I.

Diego

We spent a day at the pool at Little America.

My brother.  I love him dearly.  I'm so proud of him.  He has been sober for a year now and he has stopped smoking for 5 weeks now.

He has a new challenge....being a step dad

The Unknown

The unknown has brought me to a place of total dependence on the Lord.  I have no option but to depend on the Lord for every moment and hour asking Him to lead me into each day.  I'm in a place that I don't know what to do.  I can think a little and come up with lots of "what ifs" and then come up with a few ideas or plans of what I would do "if this or if that" but other than that until I know something I'm in a place of the unknown.  Only God knows and only He can lead.    So in the meantime I sigh really deeply and keep going forward with the things I do know until God reveals to me the next thing to know, or to do deal with.    A friend of mine told me today that I was in right where the Lord thinks is best for me and that it is a good place to be.  I smiled and said to myself okay and since then have continued to move on into my day.  Today is almost over and a new day will begin and I will again talk to the Lord asking him to keep leading on into each moment and hour of the day.

Follow up on post from June 11

This a short follow up on the post from June 11 called This Storm Shall Pass too.

Since that storm there have been some amazing things going on with my step-son.  Each day since he came to me and talked to me there have been steps forward that continue to express our conversation.  I believe that  things are moving in the direction that God wants.  I believe that God wants this family to make it.  He doesn't want us to give up and give in to all the evil that Satan throws our way.  I know that our roads will not be smooth for long and there will be bumps along the way but we have Jesus Christ at the center of it all.  He is amazing.  He is all knowing.  He is powerful.  He is working in the hearts of the individuals that are in our family, it shows.

This storm is still technically there until its totally calmed with closure with a few more calls but in the meantime this storm is almost over in that sense.  God is with us and ready to move on to the next storm or bump in the road.  He is always there.  I'm so grateful for that.  Thank you Lord.  I love you.

(This post is not quite the way I have had in my head for awhile now.  I've been busy with so many things and have had so much that I have wanted to write about.  I should have taken the time to write in those moments but....life goes on.  I will write more as I gather my thoughts again but in the midst of it all another storm has started....it never to seems to end but I do know that God is using all this for good and teach us and mold us to be more like Him.)

A New Storm Brewing

A new storm is brewing and I'm not happy about that.  Who really is? No one!  I don't remember opening the door and stepping out and saying "Come on in Satan, come on in and play with us" Nope I don't think I wanted that door open.  But it was wide open for Satan to come in again and "play".  I'm not through this storm yet, it has only begun.  I keep telling myself over and over that God never gives us too much that we can't handle, that I trust you Lord with all the details and all my worries and fearful feelings and thoughts.  I keep telling myself that this storm was in God's plan and that he is in control and knows what good will come out of this one.  I know good will come out.  I know.

I dragged myself out of bed after I got off of the phone with a friend that thought she was only doing her daily morning call, by fulfilling a prayer request of mine.  Getting out of bed early and have quite time with the Lord and exercising to begin my day.  I think she could hear something different in my voice this morning and I shared a few details with her and she began to pray.  I got my bible and I held it tight against my chest and asked the Lord to speak to me.  I closed my eyes and opened the bible randomly and it was Psalms.  I closed my eyes for a moment and then I opened them and read.

Psalm 91 9-12
Because you have made the Lord-my refuge, the Most High-your dwelling place,
no harm will come to you;
no plague will come near your tent.
For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
to protect you in all your ways.
They will support you with their hands
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

The image of His angels holding us in their hands protecting us and supporting us in our weakest, toughest times, in the middle of our storms is so comforting.  I have read and re-read that over and over this morning and I'm holding fast to that image and the feelings of peace and comfort it brings to my troubled heart.

This Storm Shall Pass Too

Quote from Beth Moore: "Prayer guards hearts and minds and causes God to bring peace out of chaos."

"Yearn to understand first and to be understood second."  Beca Lewis Allen

Prov: 2:10-11 " For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; Discretion will guard you, understanding will watch over you."

(Wed. June 8th)
Lately I've been stressed out, I thought I had things all figured out and that things were all calm and had been laid to rest.  Well I should have known that it was just "the calm before the storm".  I got a phone call this afternoon that I didn't want to get and my body tensed up quickly, a knot developed in my stomach and I was trembling inside. (stress really makes my body ache and hurt with pain)

I had prayed and prayed and talked to God last week about the current storm in my life and today I sort of felt like I had not been heard.  But once again I was reminded that things are not going to be what I want but what He wants.  He did hear me and he did answer my prayer.  By the end of the conversation on the phone it was clear to me how he had answered my prayer.  He answered in such a way that it continued to remind me to trust in him and to have faith.

I soon started to relax and began to feel at peace again knowing that God was in control.  I know you must be wondering about what I'm really talking about and the details but I'm not ready to totally bring them all out to light here at this time but just know I truly know that no matter how scary or ugly or out of control the storm may get I'm not alone, He is there leading me through the storm.

Until this storm comes to pass I will continue to ride the crashing waves with my Lord and Savior.

De-stressing with RaNdOm Thoughts

Have you ever had a few days when things were not going really well?  Or were like being on an emotional roller-coaster?  What about when you have so much on your mind (good or not so good) that you just want to shut down and chill out (maybe even avoid things, people, situations, or talking at least for just a bit). 

Well in this process I noticed for myself that different thoughts would pop into my head.  As these thoughts would pop into my head at the most oddest moments they seemed to pull me away from reality just long enough to help me....re-group or re-focus on things again and then keep going on to the next moment.

I was putting together a lasagna for dinner when I had to just stop and rinse my hands off, a little drippy writing down the thought that just popped in my head.  I did this several times, its a wonder that the lasagna is actually in the oven now baking.

I don't think I can remember every thought but I thought I would try.  Thinking over the last couple of days...

• my husband really enjoys it when I make one of his mother's recipes for dinner
• my oldest daughter can read me when something is going on and I'm not sure how to tell her
• my youngest daughter is such a silly little girl that really brings laughter to the room
• I love how the sun shines on the pine needles on the trees out my window
• I really need to put sunblock on myself first then go tell my kids to
• man this sun burn hurts and its crazy how how my skin still feels
• God can make miracles out of messes and mistakes
• If He brings you to it, we must remember, He will bring you through it as well
• Each pain you feel is helping you toward your goal
• I had fun shopping with my oldest daughter the other day, she really keeps me "in style"
• I'm not so sure I have a green thumb after all, my flowers on my balcony are not looking so good :(
• I can do whatever I need to through Christ.  Who gives me strength
• my husband is complicated and hard to understand at times but he does care for me and loves me
• I enjoyed taking my son to the movies today to see Kung Fu Panda 2 
• my son is sweet and thoughtful, he gave me most of his red Starburst candies :)
• my youngest daughter can act so grown up at times, I see a little girl that is growing up so fast
• Trust God that He has a good plan for you.  Embrace the unknown as well as you embrace the known because you can be confident God is in control.  He may take you on a route you would not choose, but He has a reason.
• I want good for my step-son
• I would to be on a beach right now watching the waves roll in and out on the shore
• The more people love and care for you the harder it is to listen when they speak out of that love and care
• It's better to let go of the shock, disappointed, angry feeling and move quickly onto love and forgiveness, understanding and hope
• When you open the door for others to walk into your life and you ask for them to help be prepared to hear things you won't like hearing
• Words of love are the hardest to say at times and the hardest to hear 
• Look around you...at the possibilities, not the problems
• It's a new day, begin again and smile
• I enjoyed listening to the radio today, heard a lot of music from the past.
• It was nice to drift back in time as I heard each song on the radio
• the past can bring smiles and frowns
• I've had too many "blonde moments" lately....could that be a sign of age?
• can't wait to go visit my family in El Paso in July
• hoping that I will be married to my husband for a long long time
• the challenges of parenting are very challenging and puts a lot of strain on other relationships around you
• I love flowers
• I really want to some where very scenic and take tons of pictures
• my family and I really need to go camping again soon
• I have several people in my life that really love and care for me
• its a good feeling to know how many good friends can surround you in your time of need of happiness or sorrow
• Breath in, let go  and smile everything is alright.  It always is with Jesus in the center of your heart

The lasagna is almost ready, everyone is scattered, I guess they will eat as they all come home one by one. 


I'm tired, and I don't feel like doing much of anything...I think I'll look for something to watch online that will make me laugh.

The latest.....

Life just keeps happening......busy with the kids driving them to practice or attending a baseball or softball game.  Kyle is almost finished with baseball, since they started in April.  The girls have until probably the middle of June to go before they are done.  The kids are on a count down, school is almost out for the summer.  I can't believe how fast it went.  The kids and I are excited for the summer.  (I only wish Micah could enjoy the summer with us, he has so much work lined up.  It's all good since that is what will help us in the winter) We have our vacation dates set and can't wait.  July 8th we will head to El Paso to visit my family there.  I plan on staying 2 or 3 weeks.  Karlee will fly out on July 15th to go visit her half sister again.  She will return to Flagstaff on August 5th then school starts again on August 9th.  With vacation planned I only have to figure out what to do with the kids for a short part of the summer :)

Memorial Weekend:  We didn't do much for our long weekend.  We were going to go camping but Micah had work and then we had a few things to attend during the weekend but the kids kept busy with their friends, sleep overs and the park so it all was good.  We did attend a wedding at the church.  It was a nice, sweet wedding.

The wedding:  Like I said just above the wedding was nice and sweet but for me I sat there with tons of thoughts in my head.  I think its a good idea to attend weddings (maybe as often as you can) because it helps remind us what we should be doing for each other.  At least that was one of the many thoughts that came to me.  It helped me think of my marriage and what I could do better.  It helped remind me of all the little things that should go on between a wife and husband.  I was happy for the wedding couple and full of joy for their new relationship but sad and broken about the thoughts of mine.  So with all that going on in my head the wedding was bittersweet.  But there is hope, always hope and that is when in the midst of this special event I took a moment and sent a pray up to God for my marriage and my relationship with my husband and the things I need to do.

Last weekend: Micah's Surprise 40th Birthday Party.  Micah had turned 40 on the 18th of May.  I knew he would figure it out if we had it on his birthday so a friend of mine and myself planned it for May 22nd.  It was really hard for me to keep it quite for so long.  I love to give gifts and tell someone something happy, to see their expression.  So let's just say that its hard to plan a surprise party for Micah and I'm not sure if I would try again.....He showed up early ( and not everyone was there yet)  I think part of it was my fault because I didn't figure out quite right when choir was out.  But all in all it was fun and we enjoyed each other's company, ate good food and yummy cake.  (the chocolate cake was so awesome, very very tasty)

The Sign Makers deep in thought.....

Micah showing up early (I heard his dirt bike and scrambled to get everyone ready with the sign and ready to shout out)

The sign.  Years ago when we dated we used to go to this place called "The Surf Club" in El Paso

Observing while Tom and Shelton worked on Shelton's project. (a golf ball launcher)

What do women do best? Eat and talk :)

Karlee carried the cake out to Micah

Don't you just love the candle...I do :)

So I think that brings things up to this point so far, at lease from what pictures were in the camera :)

And as far as any hard lessons or strong emotions or heavy thoughts going on to write about....well I've seem to have taken a little vacation from them for a while :) so for now just enjoy my posts of my family and I.