Re-visting

Do you ever find yourself re-visiting things in your life that you thought you were done with or had it all figured out?

Unfortunately you can be re-visited in so many ways but there is always something to gain from each visit.

I have learned now that I should not have tried to "treat" myself  when I realized that I was getting a UTI.  It didn't work and lead me to the doctor on Thursday, feeling very close to how I felt two years ago when I was going through all those infections and things..... So I didn't enjoy re-visiting that situation at all.  I'm on an antibiotic now and doing better.

Another situation that has recently happened that I thought I had the concept of "forgiveness" all figured out but what I'm learning is that forgiving someone is never the same.....the situation is usually different.  I think its because the Lord wants to walk you through the different areas that need to be re-defined in you.

The Lord has walked me through a few hard places of forgiveness over the years that from the outside many, including myself often have wondered how did I manage to forgive and let go.  But that is where the Lord comes into it all.  Without Him I think we would never really forgive others as we should.

I'm working through a broken friendship right now.  I don't understand it and I'm hurt by it.  The bright side to it is that someone else in this person's life has come into the picture, lead by God to be there for this person.  I pray that she will be able to speak into their life and good fruit will bare from it. (even if I may not be apart of this person's life)

Friendships are hard at times, and oddly enough it doesn't make what age you are or where you find yourself right now...it takes two....no wait it really takes three.....the Lord is right in the middle (or should be)

I don't want bitterness, or resentment to settle into my heart.  I choose joy and forgiveness, I just need a little help Lord.

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.  Proverbs 19:11

Love your enemies, bless those who cure you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons (daughters) of you Father in heaven.  Matthew 5:44-45

Lord, if any person has unforgiveness toward me, I pray You would soften their heart to forgive me and show me what I can do to help resolve this issue between us.  I know that I cannot be a light to others as long as I am walking in the darkness of unforgiveness.  I choose to walk in the light as You are in the light and be cleansed from all sin (1 John 1:7)

The VA Hospital in Prescott AZ

I love the way this tree looks up against this old building.

Outside of the VA Hospital

The area around the VA Hospital is pretty, several huge trees. 

I think this picture speaks for itself.

Driving out of the parking lot....

Scott and I were impressed with how quickly he was in and out of there.  The people were friendly and wanted to help and that made such a difference compared to our last visit in the area to the ER.  They did a CT Scan of his chest and his stomach and a little further down.  He has an appointment to see a urologist next month.

This visit was on Monday at the beginning of this week.....Tuesday he left work early not feeling well, yesterday he didn't go at all and today is Thursday and he says he has had to really work hard at staying at work.  He slept all day yesterday and still is tired.  This morning he looked awful, so worn out.  He said to me that he can't really describe how he feels but that he just doesn't feel good.

Yesterday (Wed) his parents had called me to thank me for being there for Scott and supporting him and all. He has finally shared with them about the Hep C but not much else.  They suspect other things going on but are not pushing it.  I wanted to share so much with them but didn't.  They said that he will tell them when he is ready.  After I disconnected with them I couldn't help it.....I let the flood gates open and started to cry.

I can see how concerned my kids are, their faces and eyes show all :( 

I can only ask the Lord to help in all this......to give us strength and courage to keep loving and supporting Scott.

Now we wait to hear what the scan shows or doesn't show....not sure how long it will be before we know something but in the meantime my heart aches as I look upon Scott and the reality sets in to my mind.

Gods grace

I really don't enjoy going to church by myself.

I thought I would be going to church by myself this past Sunday but.....instead my step-son Dillon sent me a message and asked if he and his girlfriend Darcie could go with me.  I was really pleased and thankful.

I know all it is....just jelly toast but apparently its more than that....

Sara says its better when "you make it mom"  

Sara needed to eat something for breakfast on Monday for testing.  She doesn't ever eat at home in the morning but this morning she wanted me to make her breakfast.  I know it doesn't take much time to make toast and spread butter and jelly on it, and she could do it herself but "mama" does it just right.....and there will be a day when I won't be able to make her toast with jelly so I think I can manage in the mean time lol...

A very sweet friend sent me this, she is great at encouraging and supporting :)

I have had fun joining up with Thirty-one Gifts.  Everyone who has ordered with me has been so happy and pleased with their purchases.

Karlee is thinking about borrowing this dress from a co-worker for her prom coming up in May.

It will be awesome if Karlee decides to use the dress, it will save us on the expense of buying a dress this year.  Next year she will be a senior so I know we will have to buy a dress for her big year!  I'm grateful for the many blessings and breaks that the Lord gives us when we need it and he knows our needs and always will provide.

We think its pretty :)

Tuesday God blessed me with so many good conversations that needed to take place and I didn't even know it.  But he provided the moment for each and all were blessed. So thankful that God knows best.

This picture was taken by a friend of mine that lives in Poland now.  I think this speaks of so much of God's wonderful, beautiful glory of grace.......

Quick Glimpse

I think most of you know that my "job" right now is working as a caregiver.  Some may not think its the job for them or an easy job but its a rewarding one.  

1 Timothy 5:8  But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Working a puzzle

Leviticus 10:32

You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged and you shall revere your God: I am the Lord.

Reading a book

1 Timothy 5:1-2 

Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, and older women as mothers, and the younger women as sister, in all purity.

Watching T.V.

Isaiah 46:4

Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you!  I have done it, and I will carry you;  And I will bear you and I will deliver you.

Family, Friends & Spring

I love my girls smiles!  

Last week Karlee asked a friend to the MORP dance at her school.  She enjoyed making the sign with the machine I have borrowed.  (in the jar are gummy worms)

The theme was glow in the dark so all the kids wore white so they could glow in the dark. 

This is my brother Jason.  He was recently out in El Paso visiting family and friends with his wife Bea.  While he was there he re-tiled our mom's bathroom....he said he was relaxing lol.  I really wish I had been able to go visit but couldn't.  I love my little brother.  He's a good guy :)

This is Bosco enjoying his "oinkie"  he loves these dog treats!  

Yes that is a dusting of snow in April!  Hey its Flagstaff and this is Spring!  

Guiding vs. Parenting

Last night my oldest daughter and I sort of got into a discussion that left me feeling like she still didn't quite understand where I was coming from.  I walked out of the room leaving it to God after I spoke to her words from my heart through Christ.

She is 17 and will be 18 in September.  As a mom I want to protect her and shield her from the cruel things in this world.  Last night I felt like I took a turn from "parenting" to "guiding"  The difference being that when our children are younger we sort of can "control" and protect better than when they get older and think they are ready for the world.

I have realized that when I speak to my daughter now I can only suggest, imply, influence, point out what I know would be the better option or choice and let her decide for herself.....to guide her.  Letting go and speaking truth into there life and leaving her in God's hands is not and will not be easy for me to do.  That is where my faith comes in.....and knowing God and having a relationship with Him.  He is raising my daughter and she and I can only follow Him in His plan for her....in her everyday dealings with life as a young beautiful inside and out young woman growing in her place in this world.

I love my daughter (my 3 children) so very much and I know that I can not guide them out into this world without the Lord.  So very thankful for knowing that, it lightens the load and puts the burden on the shoulders of the one who can handle it all for His children.

I also know that the only thing I can do to lean on the Lord through all of what will come into the life of my daughter is to pray.  Pray for her daily.  Giving her over and over back to the Lord.

Let her walk insecurity of Your assigned worth to her.  Give her a strong work ethic and health to accomplish all her tasks.  Give her a heart that desires to extend her hand to those in need.  Protect her to the right husband, a man of respect and godly honor.  And let her be a woman of joy and laughter whose Christ-centered character is what makes her most beautiful.  (Proverbs 31)

Lord, continue to give me the strength, wisdom and guidance for me to love and guide my daughter into this world.  Amen

Lead Me Lord

In all areas of my life I look to the Lord.  I can not live in this world without Him.  I'm so thankful that he sought me years ago and didn't give up on me and took me in his arms the moment I went running into them.  I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on the Lord and his mighty promises and his love for me.  I pray for his guidance and presence in my life even when I may turn away briefly.

Not sure what the rest of this Sunday will bring but I know He is with me and there will be good, joy and blessings abound in the midst of whatever the day brings.

Thank you Lord

A Day to Myself

On Tuesday morning I decided not to go to the ladies bible study.  I was torn with going and getting things done and then taking a day to not feel so rushed.  I stayed home and took my time getting started with my day.  I did some cleaning around the house that really needed to get done, went to the grocery store.  I know it sounds busy and normal but for me it made a difference.

Later that day I got a text message from a friend asking me what was up since its very very rare that I miss.  I told her thanks for her concern, that everything was fine just needed a day.

I also found out from another friend that she was called about me, wondering if she knew where I was.  I had to laugh but it was nice to feel missed.

I'm thankful for how the Lord had blessed my day and refreshed my soul for the rest of the week.

A little Spring in my step

This goofy guy is my cousin!  His name is Donny Davis.  I don't really know him all that well but found this picture of him on facebook.  He live the "rich & famous" life actually.  He was in the movie Pain & Gain.

I have recently borrowed her Circut from a friend of mine.  I have had so much fun playing with it and creating.....I thought these little flower boxes decorated with the flower and filled with chocolate kisses would be great for Mother's Day....to sell at church on the Mission Table maybe. 

These are called Orange Blossoms.  I found this cute little flower pot of flowers at Safeway yesterday.

Yesterday was Easter.  It wasn't a big deal for us.  Micah was working all day.  Kyle at his dad's and Karlee, Sara & I went to church then I dropped Karlee off at work.  While in church I had gotten a text message from the woman that rents from us downstairs.  She works at the hospital on the weekends.  We hadn't seen her care since Friday and were concerned.  She was in the hospital with a bad kidney infection.  I had told Micah and sent back suggesting that I go visit her after church.  It was a great idea!

This woman has had it rough just like the rest of us and doing what she needs to do to get through the days.  She had four children, ranging in age from 11 to 2, recently divorced and in her early 30s.  She gets her kids every other week.  She was suppose to have them yesterday and this week, being in the hospital has put a kink in the plans.  She loves Flagstaff but most of the friends she had for whatever reason are more on her ex's side than hers.  She has more friends in Phoenix.

Micah & I  sympathize with her and have offered to be there for her and the kids if she ever needed a helping hand.  When she has the kids it's like a tornado hit, landed and moved on, frustration can be heard and our heart aches.

Sara & I went up to the hospital after church.  She was so surprised and happy to see us.  We stayed for a bit and then left to go get some of her clothing and things.  Before heading up the second time I stopped and picked up the flowers that are shown in the picture above along with a little baggie of Easter candy from the house to surprise her with.  We stayed about an hour.  She was feeling a little better before we had left.  It was great to see her smile and so happy that we had came to visit her.  I'm so thankful for the suggestion from Micah to put a little spring into my step.

Afterwards I went home to cook dinner and have it ready before Micah came home.  It had been a long time that I felt inspired to please my husband with dinner ready.  I wanted to make another smile and give the gift of kindness and love.

Thankful to the Lord for giving me that spring in my step and the strengthen to push through how tired and achy my body was feeling.  It was all well worth it!