Last week I found out how they will be "fixing me" and that I have this "wonderful" little drain coming out of my back for another 4 weeks.
I will have surgery on December 16th at 12:30 pm and be in the hospital for two days then to return home for a few weeks of additional recovery time before the new year starts.
I hope to be ready to start the new year by feeling like my normal self again, getting back into normal life and going back to work. I'm looking forward to it.
Praying for no more complications to arise.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Friends
I have friends in the ladies bible study on Tuesday mornings. I have friends in my small group. I have friends at church. I have a couple ladies that are mentors to me. I love them all and couldn't make it without them. God has placed each one of them in my path at the right time for the right reason and continues to use them in my life. Through this I have learned to love others with His love, listen and uplift and encourage others, to let go and give it to the Lord, and to forgive and just be in the spirit with them.
God has recently given me another gift. A gift that I haven't had in my life for a long time. I think as women its hard to have a good friend, I think its because of the differences we have yet we are all so similar since God created us. But when friendships are created through Him it is amazing and lasting.
When I lived in Fort Davis Tx, before moving here to Flagstaff AZ I had a good friend that was there for me in all aspects of my life. Our friendship was hard at getting started and difficult at times to find a balance but we weathered the storms of life that were thrown at us and our families. We would cry together, get irritated, laugh like crazy together and then times of walking away and giving each other time apart. We did things for each other, we helped each other, we cooked and hung out together, we shared life together with our kids and struggles in life. At the time I guess looking back now you could say that as good as the friendship was we did find ourselves being more dependent upon each other and that caused issues (instead of being dependent on the Lord) So when I left Fort Davis I left a huge gap behind and we have never been the same since.
The other day last week I experienced a feeling of friendship that I hadn't felt in a long time and this time knowing that it came from the Lord and his doing of timing I was overwhelmed with such a good feeling. It wasn't nothing more than going over to her house and finding another new dear friend there too and the three of us spent time together doing crafty things, drinking coffee and talking and laughing.
Also when I went to pick the kids up from youth group I normal try to rush the kids out the door and go home but this time I found myself talking to a friend and talking and talking. The kids were waiting on me instead. Oddly enough it made me happy. I even said on the way out the door...."What I have friends too you know" I wanted to shout Yes I have friends! My oldest daughter totally understood me and the meaning behind it. She has been hoping that since we've been in Flagstaff that I would have some friends that I could go hang out with. And now I feel like I do!
With two of these ladies I felt a nudge from the Lord to go and approach them. I was drawn to these ladies and so thankful that I followed.
Then one day next door I knew there were going to be a few ladies in the house next door that I really wanted to go visit and be apart of. I went next door and they welcomed me in and gave me a piece of pie and before leaving I realized that I had another friendship blossoming before me.
I hope you can see the difference in the friendship I experienced in TX verses here in AZ. I have to give all the credit to my Heavenly Father. Thank you so much.
Ecc 4:9-10
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to life him up.
Colossians 3:12-14 (Friend is pleasing)
Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive. Above all, put on love, the perfect bond of unity.
Prov: 27:9 (Shape & Sharpen one another)
Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.
Prov: 27: 17 (True friend strengthens & helps each other)
Iron sharpens iron, and one man (woman) sharpens another.
God has recently given me another gift. A gift that I haven't had in my life for a long time. I think as women its hard to have a good friend, I think its because of the differences we have yet we are all so similar since God created us. But when friendships are created through Him it is amazing and lasting.
When I lived in Fort Davis Tx, before moving here to Flagstaff AZ I had a good friend that was there for me in all aspects of my life. Our friendship was hard at getting started and difficult at times to find a balance but we weathered the storms of life that were thrown at us and our families. We would cry together, get irritated, laugh like crazy together and then times of walking away and giving each other time apart. We did things for each other, we helped each other, we cooked and hung out together, we shared life together with our kids and struggles in life. At the time I guess looking back now you could say that as good as the friendship was we did find ourselves being more dependent upon each other and that caused issues (instead of being dependent on the Lord) So when I left Fort Davis I left a huge gap behind and we have never been the same since.
The other day last week I experienced a feeling of friendship that I hadn't felt in a long time and this time knowing that it came from the Lord and his doing of timing I was overwhelmed with such a good feeling. It wasn't nothing more than going over to her house and finding another new dear friend there too and the three of us spent time together doing crafty things, drinking coffee and talking and laughing.
Also when I went to pick the kids up from youth group I normal try to rush the kids out the door and go home but this time I found myself talking to a friend and talking and talking. The kids were waiting on me instead. Oddly enough it made me happy. I even said on the way out the door...."What I have friends too you know" I wanted to shout Yes I have friends! My oldest daughter totally understood me and the meaning behind it. She has been hoping that since we've been in Flagstaff that I would have some friends that I could go hang out with. And now I feel like I do!
With two of these ladies I felt a nudge from the Lord to go and approach them. I was drawn to these ladies and so thankful that I followed.
Then one day next door I knew there were going to be a few ladies in the house next door that I really wanted to go visit and be apart of. I went next door and they welcomed me in and gave me a piece of pie and before leaving I realized that I had another friendship blossoming before me.
I hope you can see the difference in the friendship I experienced in TX verses here in AZ. I have to give all the credit to my Heavenly Father. Thank you so much.
Ecc 4:9-10
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to life him up.
Colossians 3:12-14 (Friend is pleasing)
Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive. Above all, put on love, the perfect bond of unity.
Prov: 27:9 (Shape & Sharpen one another)
Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.
Prov: 27: 17 (True friend strengthens & helps each other)
Iron sharpens iron, and one man (woman) sharpens another.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Hidden Blessings
This morning I had an early doctors appointment to follow up with from the hospital. I'm healing nicely from the hysterectomy aside from the extra little mess I'm dealing with from the 2nd visit to the hospital.
The doctor went over things with me. The one thing that I left with playing over in my head....a little shocked....was finding out that it was a good thing that my uterus and cervix was removed. I apparently had pre cancerous cells and was moving in the danger direction of developing cervical cancer.
Wow finding out that sort of hit hard and scared me some. I know its okay now because it was removed but....crazy....I was more of a mess and didn't even know it. Now for the next 5 years I have been strongly advised to have a yearly pap done to make sure there are not any abnormal cells developing anywhere else.
I'm so thankful that God knows his plan for me and takes care of me and all the details of my life.
Psalm 139:13-16
The Message (MSG)
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Home
I've been home from the hospital the 2nd time around now for a week. When I first left the hospital I was excited to be outside in the cold air, looking around, as if I'd been hidden away. I know it's odd sounding but being in the hospital for 4 nights was like being in another world. I was happy to go home, to my family, my own bed and pillow.
The first few days I was tired and staying in bed, but at least my own bed :) By Saturday I was feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed with the things going on around me. I soon learned real quickly about letting things go that I could not control and letting go of the worry and concern reminding myself who has it all under control. Thank goodness God does. But I my mid morning I found myself emotional and frustrated. Micah was at work and I was home alone with the kids. The boys were bored, one of them was talking a bunch of nonsense that drove me crazy and the other one wasn't listening and bothering his little sister. I soon lost control and yelled and said things I shouldn't have said then I sat there and cried. I cried like a baby, I couldn't help it, the tears rolled out. I think I needed that release from everything that had been going on and settling back into to life at home.
Sunday I went to church and it was so wonderful to see my friends and be around my church family. I enjoyed the music and the sermon but soon I found it hard and uncomfortable to sit there. I asked Micah if we could leave. By the time we hit the door for outside I was in tears and in so much pain. I think it was a muscle spasm but it was intense. I went home and took something and laid down and soon felt better.
It's been very helpful to have lovely ladies bring in a few meals this week. Micah has continued to take good care of me. Yesterday was nice, we just both rested and hung out around the house. We also had enjoyed breakfast out together.
Today is Thursday and I find myself with more energy and less pain. I ventured out to the store today. It was nice to get out. I'm tired and ready to relax now, but it was a good day and the weather was really nice too.
I continue to take each day at a time, and resting and going slow with life as each moment happens. I await my doctor visit next week. I'm really wanting to know what to expect and what will be next on this last go around with healing and all. But until then I continue to give it all to God and hold on to him while all this is going on. On a daily basis I let go of a little more and then a calm peaceful feeling is washed over me from head to toe and a smile is on my face.
Thank you Lord for your many blessings.
The first few days I was tired and staying in bed, but at least my own bed :) By Saturday I was feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed with the things going on around me. I soon learned real quickly about letting things go that I could not control and letting go of the worry and concern reminding myself who has it all under control. Thank goodness God does. But I my mid morning I found myself emotional and frustrated. Micah was at work and I was home alone with the kids. The boys were bored, one of them was talking a bunch of nonsense that drove me crazy and the other one wasn't listening and bothering his little sister. I soon lost control and yelled and said things I shouldn't have said then I sat there and cried. I cried like a baby, I couldn't help it, the tears rolled out. I think I needed that release from everything that had been going on and settling back into to life at home.
Sunday I went to church and it was so wonderful to see my friends and be around my church family. I enjoyed the music and the sermon but soon I found it hard and uncomfortable to sit there. I asked Micah if we could leave. By the time we hit the door for outside I was in tears and in so much pain. I think it was a muscle spasm but it was intense. I went home and took something and laid down and soon felt better.
It's been very helpful to have lovely ladies bring in a few meals this week. Micah has continued to take good care of me. Yesterday was nice, we just both rested and hung out around the house. We also had enjoyed breakfast out together.
Today is Thursday and I find myself with more energy and less pain. I ventured out to the store today. It was nice to get out. I'm tired and ready to relax now, but it was a good day and the weather was really nice too.
I continue to take each day at a time, and resting and going slow with life as each moment happens. I await my doctor visit next week. I'm really wanting to know what to expect and what will be next on this last go around with healing and all. But until then I continue to give it all to God and hold on to him while all this is going on. On a daily basis I let go of a little more and then a calm peaceful feeling is washed over me from head to toe and a smile is on my face.
Thank you Lord for your many blessings.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Part 2 the Procedures
After the iodine x-ray and more scans it was brought to my attention that I needed to have a procedure done. If all went well it would have only been one and not two in one day within a matter of hours as it ended up being. The night they told me this I was scared, I knew this moved into the slightly serious area and I didn't know how to handle it. Tears were shed, and hugs and tight holding went on with Karlee and Micah and I. The best part was know that Micah was there. He held and squeezed my hand and tears came down his cheeks as he kissed me on the top of the head, saying how sorry he was that I was going through all this. Just knowing and feeling how much he was there was all I needed to know that things were tough but he was there.
The next day was an emotional stressful day. Micah was there all day with me, thankful. I was prepped and ready for the first procedure (hoping for only this one) So for this one I was asleep and they put a tiny camera and a wire up through the urethra to try to see what was going on and to try to put a stent in the damaged part to reconnect the tube to the bladder. They couldn't do it.
I was in recovery after that and woke up and then shortly moved on to the next "procedure". This one was heavily sedated and asked to get on my stomach......not fun and painful.
I actually have paper work on this one so I can get technical with the big words.
Percutaneous nephrostomy is a procedure that drains the urine from the kidney to prevent pain, infection and kidney damage. You will then lie on your stomach on an x-ray table (a very small skinny hard table I might add). You then are given medication to help you relax and make you feel sleepy. The skin on your lower back is numbed with an injection of local anesthetic using ultrasound or x-ray images as a guide, the radiologist inserts a needle through your lower back into your kidney. Contract medium may be injected through this needle into the kidney. This fluid makes the kidney easier to see on x-ray images. The x-ray images can show exactly where the kidney or ureter is blocked. (in my case not too sure, and tried to put a stent in but wasn't going to work either) Then a needle is then replaced with a drainage catheter. The catheter is attached to a drainage bag, which collects the urine that drains from the kidney (it had leaked and left urine in my stomach which isn't good but will be absorbed by my body, they say)
So once that was done I was taken back to my room down in step-down. The rest is up and down hill, and hard to really say because I was feeling so yucky and in pain.
After 4 nights in the hospital away from my family I was happy to go home on Thursday morning. I was ready for my own bed, pillow and to get some sleep.
Next post.....Home
The next day was an emotional stressful day. Micah was there all day with me, thankful. I was prepped and ready for the first procedure (hoping for only this one) So for this one I was asleep and they put a tiny camera and a wire up through the urethra to try to see what was going on and to try to put a stent in the damaged part to reconnect the tube to the bladder. They couldn't do it.
I was in recovery after that and woke up and then shortly moved on to the next "procedure". This one was heavily sedated and asked to get on my stomach......not fun and painful.
I actually have paper work on this one so I can get technical with the big words.
Percutaneous nephrostomy is a procedure that drains the urine from the kidney to prevent pain, infection and kidney damage. You will then lie on your stomach on an x-ray table (a very small skinny hard table I might add). You then are given medication to help you relax and make you feel sleepy. The skin on your lower back is numbed with an injection of local anesthetic using ultrasound or x-ray images as a guide, the radiologist inserts a needle through your lower back into your kidney. Contract medium may be injected through this needle into the kidney. This fluid makes the kidney easier to see on x-ray images. The x-ray images can show exactly where the kidney or ureter is blocked. (in my case not too sure, and tried to put a stent in but wasn't going to work either) Then a needle is then replaced with a drainage catheter. The catheter is attached to a drainage bag, which collects the urine that drains from the kidney (it had leaked and left urine in my stomach which isn't good but will be absorbed by my body, they say)
So once that was done I was taken back to my room down in step-down. The rest is up and down hill, and hard to really say because I was feeling so yucky and in pain.
After 4 nights in the hospital away from my family I was happy to go home on Thursday morning. I was ready for my own bed, pillow and to get some sleep.
Next post.....Home
The unexpected blessing (part 1)
So the last time I was here I was expecting a joyous weekend. Well that didn't quite happen. Saturday morning I woke up feeling alright. Karlee and I went to Micahels to get a few craft things then we enjoyed some time together sharing lunch at Pita Jungle. We rented a movie and laid on the couch and watched it.
By this point my lower back was hurting really bad and my stomach wasn't feeling good and I had a fever. I went to lay down and there I stayed while the fever went up and Micah got home from work. I told him that something wasn't right and I needed to go to the ER. This is all around 6:30 or so in Saturday evening. Sitting there waiting to be seen I had this feeling that I wasn't going home for the night.
They took lots of blood, hooked me up to an iv and starting pumping me with fluids, pain meds and antibiotics. They came in and started taking my info to admit me. At this point they said it was a bad kidney infection.
(the infection got me in the door but then there were other things in the mix going on but it was process finding them)
I felt awful, I was in pain and I was scared and I didn't know what to expect but I knew I had to trust and just go with it so I could feel better. I really got a little concerned when I realized I was head to step down, the the critical care unit. They had to monitor my heart and things. My white blood count was very high, my heart rate was fast. So there went in the fluids......
Being in the hospital is like being in another world, you loose track of time and what goes on outside, so I really don't know day by day, it all sort of jumbled together. I had never been in the hospital before for more than a night with each child.
The infection started to clear up but I was still in pain and had lots of pressure on my lower right side of my stomach, and everywhere was tender to touch. So the doctor said there is still something else going on. Had a CAT Scan done and some "live" x-rays done. They injected me with iodine so they could see and take pictures of how the flow was running from my kidneys to my bladder. Karlee was able to go see some of this (she didn't want to leave my side). The flow was going as it should on the left side but not the right. The ride kidney was blocked and very swollen. It also showed other things in and around the area that gave them the indication that a ureter was damaged some how and had been leaking into my stomach. (which isn't good and part of the reason of being sick) So now, I have an infection, an enlarged blocked kidney and a damaged ureter. (its a long tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder filling it with urine to release.)
So the unexpected blessing is how it all came about to find everything we did, instead of things going south real fast. What could have happened was a slow leak that went on for a long length of time that would have made me deathly ill and complicated, if it had gotten in my blood stream. But with the infection first and being treated for that, that is what really helped things not go the other way.
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