I went over to him later that day and said "I'm sorry things haven't worked out the way we wanted them to. I want to have peace between us and no more ugliness and negative stuff between us. I still don't want what is going on between us but I will continue to move forward as they are right now. If you want to pursue a divorce I won't fight you on it. I will just need you to help me as much as you can please. If you change your mind with how you feel about us I'm here. I love you" We hugged and kissed and he said he was sorry and then we parted ways and he went into the house and I went into the house next door.
I went back in and took several deep breaths and let a few tears fall and then I said a prayer. It was hard to do but it felt like the right thing to do and it was amazing how the tension left. I can love him from a distance and let God work in our lives.
I also sent him an email expressing how much I have value our friendship and that I don't want to lose that part of us.
Since then I have felt like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. It still hurts and is not easy at times but I know God is working in our lives and that good will come out of all this, He has a plan.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I found the prayer
below, expressing it so well....
LET
GO, AND LET GOD
Today
I let go and I let God
Take
charge of this life of mine.
Now
in the dark corners of my soul,
His
light is beginning to shine
All
of the cares and worries that
I
have carried around so long
He
has lifted them from my shoulders,
and
filled my heart with love.
Problems
that were overwhelming
suddenly
seem very small,
and
come what may, starting today,
I
know I can handle them all.
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