Its been along time that I have felt like my family and I have been under the shadows of Satan. That I have felt attacked and that I have taken so much on in my own strength. My mom recently said to me that through my blog she has seen me in a dark, depressed and unhappy place. I simply said well that is life and its all good.
Yes there has been lots of storms, trials, situations and circumstances that haven't been the most upbeat happy things going on but apparently I lost something along the way. I didn't see it then and I'm not sure how I lost it. But I think I fell into the trap that is hard to get out of at times of "doing the right things, saying the right things, and talking to the right people" but not really listening or believing in the truth of God's word and relying on it.
Sure I go to ladies bible study and I go to church and I have a mentor and Christian friends and I'm involved in church activities but......somehow I lost the simple little dailyness of life. The part of totally being dependent upon the one that is totally without a doubt in control of my life!
He placed a situation a very tough situation in my path that brought me literally down to my knees crying out to Him. Brought to a place of repentance of my actions, desperation to set it right, prayers of wisdom and hope, and encouragement to move forward. A huge classroom was before me to learn and take heart to what needed to happen to make it through to the next moment and the next.
Over the last few weeks of crying, worrying, letting go, praying and reading Psalms things have finally come to a point that there has been a change. A change taken place inside of me that has made the world of difference in all I do each moment in each day.
I submitted to the Lord. I turned it all over to him.
The peace that it has brought is hard to put into words.
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