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Today didn't start out very well.  I was on my way to bible study praying to God and asking him to help me get through my day.  I tried to really stop crying and get myself presentable.  I walked in to the church feeling like if someone were to ask me how I was I was going to crumble. Part of me wanted someone to ask and the other part didn't.  I was early so I had time to walk around and look like everything was fine and say "Hi" and smile as I greeted whoever I saw.  It was hard, everything wasn't alright and I didn't want to pretend.  The moment a friend of mine walked in the door I knew I was going to loose it.  She greeted me with a smile and hug and asked me how I was and that was all it took for the flood gates to open up and unleash the tears.  I couldn't hold back anymore, as hard as I tried I just couldn't act like everything was fine.

We left the room and I unloaded on her about my morning and the last few days.  Shortly afterward I was in the pastors office with her and we were all talking.  I cried, and listened and talked some and then we prayed.  I went back into the room to where the bible study had gone on without us to get my purse to leave.  I was quickly surrounded with arms that hugged me tight.  Not many words were shared, the simple hug was enough to show that they cared.  I went to the table where my purse was and found a note on my bible from a friend.

The best thing I could do this morning with the way I was feeling was to walk into my church, drop my smile and really be honest with how I wasn't okay.