Today I woke up feeling rested on all levels. It seems these days on a daily basis I'm constantly looking at my bank account and figuring this out and that out and trying to hold onto the idea of security. Its worn me down and I've had enough. I'm going to rest in the Lord. The Lord has a plan and he provides for my needs and my family. The sense of security is in my heavenly father. As I've reflected recently the Lord is in my life through the ups and downs and has always brought me to the other side of the storms in my life into the sunshine of hope and joy and my faith continues to grow in Him.
The idea of having an emergency fund and being debit free and having good credit is driving me crazy! The whole idea is great! I'm just going to do my best to make sure I have a roof over my head for me and my children, food on the table, clothing to wear and transportation the rest will just have to be placed as God sees it in his will to do so. I can only do so much in my power and my own strength.
Its crazy at 44 years old how I continue to learn lesson in life that has taken me to this point in my life. I've been researching credit and how to improve and how important it is that it had consumed me for a bit but now I've chilled out some and will take all that to help teach my children of what to do and not do and how to.
The day is coming real soon when I will have to stand on my own two feet depending only on the Lord to see things to the next. My cushion will be gone. I will have to stand on my own. My children will have to learn some hard things as they continue on their journey with making decisions involving money and their future and I won't really be able to "rescue them", like I've been rescued over and over again in my life. Its amazing how character qualities that you have had to learn and grow into over time can be such a blessing later on in life, all the trials and storms can impact your life both in the negative and the positive. Over time as each storm has passed the negative is worked through, healing or forgiving has taken place then the living in the joy that was learned grows into a stronger faith with an abundance of hope always lingering in the background to keep things moving forward as we wake up day to begin again.
Its been an interesting two years since my dad past and my 2nd marriage ended but now I can sit here feeling at peace. I'm not saying things are perfect and that I'm stress free and that all is in place......heck no! By no means are things as they should be but are they ever as they should be, as each of us think they should be...no and if they were then life would be boring and a drag and we wouldn't learn anything or grow more into who the Lord has created us to be.
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