“If its Gods will honey”, “Lord willing”, “we’ll see what next week will bring it’s too early to know” these were a few of the comments I would hear when I would call my Nana. It used to frustrate me, I sort of thought it was negative and I didn’t like hearing those comments.
I have found myself lately saying “it’s too early to really tell, we can’t plan that far ahead” and “if is God will “ to my kids.
I didn’t appreciate what she was really saying then but I do now. Thank you Nana. God has a plan and it’s his plan not ours. My Nana was trying to remind me that God is in control. I’m so glad she drove me crazy with those comments because I really did hear them.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Peace
I decided that the next few writings would be on Love, Peace, Faith and Hope so I sat thinking about different things in my life that could express each of those. I pulled out something I wrote back in August on a trip with my oldest daughter.
On the ground one minute and in the air the next...
I boarded an airplane today for the first time in several years. I've been on a plane a few times but not enough to decide if I really like to fly or not. My daughter and I had to go on a trip together to Texas. I was nervous about getting on a plane after so long but my daughter has never flown before. I showed a very calm appearance on the outside so my daughter could have good feelings about getting on the plane since she was also a little nervous.
We find our seats, she sits by the window. We are one row from the wing. She is very quite (me too). We were in the air and she was amazed at being in the sky. She took pictures from the air. She thought going through the clouds was cool.
I was into watching her reactions and enjoyed watching her enjoy the experience of being in the air that I didn't seem to care I was in a plane way up in the sky. Soon she got her book out to read for a while and I sat quietly for a few moments before I got my book out too.
A thought came to me ...."wow this is very calming and soothing being in the air" I smiled and then started reading my book until we arrived to our destination.
Peacefulness is an inner sense of calm. A peaceful heart is one that is free from worry and trouble. It's looking at things quietly to more clearly understand them and come up with creative solutions. It is learning to live in the moment. True peace I think happens when we accept what the moment is at hand. After the acceptance is met then there is an inner calm in the moment and that is peace. (when you can breathe with easy and smile with the warm feeling in your heart)
Be happy in the moment--that's enough each moment is all we need--not more. Mother Teresa
1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.
Friday, April 2, 2010
A child's perspecitve
My kids came home from school today. School on Friday's lets out at 12:35 instead of 3:25. My son is the first one home and he comes in to say a quick hello and in a hurried manner announces with excitement that the skate park is now open. We looked at his chore list to make sure there wasn't anything he needed to do and then he grabbed his skateboard and helmet from the garage and he was off.
My girls caught a ride home with a friend. My oldest daughter doesn't seem to exist without her good friend right now and so she walked in with both my girls. They all say "hi mom". I greet them and then my youngest daughter started to tell me about how awful her day was. My daughter and her friend rush upstairs to do homework so they can go to the park. They come down stairs to fix a snack and sit at the table to eat it. I"m sitting at the table too doing things on the computer.
My daughter's friend starts off by asking "so what are you all going to do for Easter?" I said not much. I went on to say that I think the kids are too old for egg hunts and things so I thought our focus would be more on spending time with each other. My oldest daughter turns to her friend and rolls her eyes and says "see I told you". She continued to say that I'm not fun anymore and that if I was fun again then she would fun again too. She also said that she told her friend that she knew that I probably wouldn't do Easter baskets this year or anything like I would do in the past. I told her that things are different and yes there are some changes but they weren't bad. I also told her that we were a bigger family now and we need to save money in areas that we can and so I was going to just get maybe their favorite candy bar or something. She rolled her eyes again.
I didn't say much after that and neither did she, in fact she said whatever and she and her friend went upstairs for a bit.
It's interesting how she thinks, only seeing a small portion of the big picture. Its ironic that we had such a conversation on today being Good Friday and all. I was getting irritated at her "me" attitude. Then I realized that she probably didn't know what Good Friday meant or even the real meaning of Easter.
There are changes. Her step dad and I are two different people that are trying to blend everyone together. We each have lead a life by ourselves with our children walking on different paths. Now we need to combine for the greater of all involved. I guess from a child's perspective that might not bring them happiness on the spot or may seem unfair.
So then my daughter's friend asks what does Good Friday mean. I explained then that lead into how holidays have taken on a worldly selfish "me me" attitude and that it get away from Christ. They both sat there and looked as though it started to make sense to them.
Dear Lord please help me be an example of your perspective "God's perspective" so that I may live and do from your perspective to be an example for my children. Let the light of "God's perspective shine so bright that its blinding to my children. Let it sound out loudly so that their ears ring. Let it flow out of their mouths like running water out of a faucet. Amen
John 12:32 and when I am lifted up on the cross. I will draw everyone to myself."
"And Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into Your hands I entrust My spirit. "saying this, He breathed His last". Luke 23:46
My girls caught a ride home with a friend. My oldest daughter doesn't seem to exist without her good friend right now and so she walked in with both my girls. They all say "hi mom". I greet them and then my youngest daughter started to tell me about how awful her day was. My daughter and her friend rush upstairs to do homework so they can go to the park. They come down stairs to fix a snack and sit at the table to eat it. I"m sitting at the table too doing things on the computer.
My daughter's friend starts off by asking "so what are you all going to do for Easter?" I said not much. I went on to say that I think the kids are too old for egg hunts and things so I thought our focus would be more on spending time with each other. My oldest daughter turns to her friend and rolls her eyes and says "see I told you". She continued to say that I'm not fun anymore and that if I was fun again then she would fun again too. She also said that she told her friend that she knew that I probably wouldn't do Easter baskets this year or anything like I would do in the past. I told her that things are different and yes there are some changes but they weren't bad. I also told her that we were a bigger family now and we need to save money in areas that we can and so I was going to just get maybe their favorite candy bar or something. She rolled her eyes again.
I didn't say much after that and neither did she, in fact she said whatever and she and her friend went upstairs for a bit.
It's interesting how she thinks, only seeing a small portion of the big picture. Its ironic that we had such a conversation on today being Good Friday and all. I was getting irritated at her "me" attitude. Then I realized that she probably didn't know what Good Friday meant or even the real meaning of Easter.
There are changes. Her step dad and I are two different people that are trying to blend everyone together. We each have lead a life by ourselves with our children walking on different paths. Now we need to combine for the greater of all involved. I guess from a child's perspective that might not bring them happiness on the spot or may seem unfair.
So then my daughter's friend asks what does Good Friday mean. I explained then that lead into how holidays have taken on a worldly selfish "me me" attitude and that it get away from Christ. They both sat there and looked as though it started to make sense to them.
Dear Lord please help me be an example of your perspective "God's perspective" so that I may live and do from your perspective to be an example for my children. Let the light of "God's perspective shine so bright that its blinding to my children. Let it sound out loudly so that their ears ring. Let it flow out of their mouths like running water out of a faucet. Amen
Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”
Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God. 1 Peter 3:18
John 12:32 and when I am lifted up on the cross. I will draw everyone to myself."
"And Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into Your hands I entrust My spirit. "saying this, He breathed His last". Luke 23:46
Monday, March 29, 2010
Having Faith
Faith
One definition of Faith is having a firm belief in something for which there is no proof, complete trust.
Faith is being willing to trust God, turning my hopes and problems over to Him and trusting in His wisdom and knowing that everything will turn out for the best.
There are so many little irritations and frustrations in life but they are small and not important. Even the annoying ex-changes with people throughout the day, the runny late moments, worry about getting things done.....It does not have to be major to have faith. Have faith in little and big things knowing they will always turn out. Maybe not in my way. I may not understand the Lord's plan but I can trust Him.
I recall a prayer that I learned when I was twelve when my dad went through re-hab for alcoholism. “ God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I can think of several situations where all I could do was to have faith.
1) Several years ago I was in a car accident in Albuquerque NM. I knew the car would hit me and I had no place to go but have the car crash into me and send me spinning out of control. I had to ride it out and pray that my children and I would be alright. Aside from fracturing my knee cap and the kids had a few minor bumps and scratches we were alright.
2) The moment that my ex-husband and I split apart again and this time he was a good distance away. Not close enough to be tempted to fall back on. I had to stand on my own with my decision made and make a fresh start with my three children. I wasn't sure how I was going to take care of us all after being at home for a year babysitting in the home. We lived in a small town and jobs were not easy to find and it took more than one to make things happen. But you know what it was alright. I was alright and my children were alright too.
3) The time when one of a mother's worst nightmares could come true and hurt her daughter and affect her whole family. When I stood and soon began to feel my body slump and go numb and my heart crumble as I came to the realization of the situation. Not wanting to even think of confirming the thoughts in my head and the idea of what all had to be done and dealt with to get my daughter and I through what was yet to come. Once again as much as I hated each moment for so many months we all kept going and going and things were worked out and now are in the past. Faith pulled us all through that and we are thankful for the many blessings that came out of it all in the end.
4) It’s been almost 9 months now since I took a giant leap of Faith and left a little area of TX that I grew quite fond of over the last two years despite the ups and downs that were gone through while living there. I relocated and started a whole new life with my children. I left what I learned was my safe haven. I'm now exploring a new life, a new marriage, a new relationship to nurture with my step son, a new place. I left so many wonderful people that were there for me and my children. The friends I had there could never be replaced. I left all the warm fuzziness behind unsure of the next step but feeling lead to make the change. To keep moving forward knowing eventually things would work out and that there is a reason and purpose behind it as the journey of faith continues. The kids and I are doing quite well and we are happy with our new start.
The roads that you or I travel on are not always easy, nor are they meant to be. I try to remind myself not to look back with dread or regret and to know that it is all in God’s plan. We all need something to hang on to and I choose to have faith.
Faith makes all things possible.
A quote I came across one day:
"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly."
So I remind myself and encourage you as my friend to take that giant leap of faith it will always work out for our good.
Matthew 17:20
"Because of your faith, " He told them. "For I assure you: If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, "Move from here to there, and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
New ideas to new beginnings
The title is a bit odd, I know. I'm feeling a little scattered. I have so much in my head that I want to get it all out but just can't. For one thing its hard to focus on just one thought when I look around and then get another thought. There are things around the house I should be doing right now too. The kids are due home soon from school soon.
Mainly I've been thinking about my writing and my last blog. I had a site called Silverwing butterfly, I had the website set up for several long months before I actually posted my first post in March of last year. I struggled with doing a blog at all but decided that it didn't matter what others thought because all I knew is that I loved to write and I had a place to write and share. That blog has been closed now since February. As you can see I've started this one that you are reading. Its not quite the way I want it yet, I'm still learning and playing with all the fun stuff that I can do on it.
My last blog was designed to share and help people out there know that things happen but good comes from it all. So I focused on the negative trials of my life mostly. I have recently posted some of my writings from my last blog but they are on the more upbeat lighter side of life. So the title of this entry really has to do with me re-thinking my writing and posting on my new blog. My new blog has taken on a different angle that I hadn't intentionally planned. In fact I'm so excited about getting started that its made it difficult to get started so today is the day with this new blog to start with new ideas to new beginnings. So I hope you will bare with my ramblings and enjoy getting to know things about me and my thoughts and live, laugh and love with me!
Not sure why I"m making this so difficult, I have kept a written journal on and off since I was twelve. Oh well here I go!
His Grace is daily...
I was in my Ladies Bible study last week and as we were discussing grace and trying to apply it in our daily and everyday little moments of life the thoughts below are what came to me and I wrote them down as I sat there listening.
....day to day
moment to moment
enjoy, cherish, make the most of it
pay close attention to the moment at hand so I can be obedient to God
or to trust Him in the moment or to love in that moment
or to do the right (be Christ like) have the attitude I need
and be in the place I need to be
to continue to have God work in me and share and help others
and lead to kindness and love, trust with my faith through Christ
and His grace that I can have this moment and by His grace
in each moment I choose life or death
will I live in this moment or die?
I choose His loving grace in each moment of my life. I choose to live
....day to day
moment to moment
enjoy, cherish, make the most of it
pay close attention to the moment at hand so I can be obedient to God
or to trust Him in the moment or to love in that moment
or to do the right (be Christ like) have the attitude I need
and be in the place I need to be
to continue to have God work in me and share and help others
and lead to kindness and love, trust with my faith through Christ
and His grace that I can have this moment and by His grace
in each moment I choose life or death
will I live in this moment or die?
I choose His loving grace in each moment of my life. I choose to live
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Love's Sweetness
Love’s Sweetness……
it places smiles upon frowning faces
it supplies an abundance of joyous laughter
it comforts when you need a hug
it heals when you feel broken
it is tough when you need to learn
it changes you for the better when you need a new direction
it forgives
it grows beyond anything we can see, touch or hold
it shines new light of understanding on the subject at hand
it confronts with care and gentleness
it sends a kind and mindful perspective on your daily dealings in life
it straightens your path when it becomes crooked
it sparkles with truth
it never leaves
it pushes and nudges you so you always know the sweetness is there to be found
it is easy to reach out to
it is warm and tender to always cherish
it always brings you right back to its sweetness
LOVE’S SWEETNESS IS NEVER ENDING
Thank you Jesus for such a sweet everlasting gift, because of this gift we can share this wonderful sweetness with others as you surround your sweet sweet love around us. Thank you
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