My Self Diagnosis Confimed

Back in March I went to the doctor complaining about joint pain.  Since then I have kept record of how I have been feeling since then.  I have noticed some changes.  The pain seemed to be more in my muscles than my joints.  Stress and cold seemed to make me feel really bad.  Some foods may have bothered me with the pain too.  Not sleeping good and feeling really tired all the time and the constant pain in areas of my body that just wasn't going away no matter what.  I started researching online and figured out that I probably have Fibromyalgia.  The more I read and discovered the more I felt like I had figured it out.  Not that I wanted anything to be wrong in the first place.  I really wanted to discover and easy fix and make all the pain go away but the more I read the more I knew that this was not going to be easy to deal with.  It would and will affect me in all areas, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  (there is no one medicine to fix all that, I only need to lean on God)

My follow appointment was today, this morning.  My self diagnosis was confirmed!  At last I had a solid answer, it brought some relief knowing it but it brought stress with it too.  There is no cure.  Some people deal with this syndrome the rest of their lives and others have had it go away after a few years. 

Here are three definitions that I found that can give you an idea of what I'm talking about: 

Fibromyalgia (new Latin, fibro-, fibrous tissues, Gk. myo-, muscle, Gk. algos-, pain, meaning muscle and connective tissue pain; also referred to as FM or FMS) is a medical disorder pain and a heightened and painful response to pressure, characterized by chronic widespread pain.

Fibromyalgia syndrome is a chronic condition characterized by body aches, widespread pain, sleep problems, extreme fatigue, depression, anxiety, and other symptoms, in combination with tenderness of specific areas (muscles and tender points) on the body.

Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues.  Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms

Its frustrating, because since you can't see it, its hard for others to understand and sympathize with you.  It almost makes me feel very alone and misunderstood (with some close people around me right now)  It also puts it all on me.  If I want to feel better and manage this its all up to me.  Up to me to find what works to help me feel better and what doesn't.  Up to me to make changes and be disciplined and consistent in doing so.  There is no easy way out or easy fix and truthfully there are a few areas of my life that I have looked for the easy way out and when not found I have given up.  I find excuse after excuse and it just makes things worse. 

For example there was a day when I was skinny and then the kids came along and then laziness came along.  My weight has been like a yoyo.  In the past I tried different pills and things for that quick fix that didn't require hard work of working out.  Over the years I have finally told myself to stop trying those quick things, that they don't work and the only thing I can do is work out.  I do for a while then I stop then I do.  I don't see results so I get frustrated and then I just don't do much of anything anymore. 

Then there are things that I've never liked doing but I do them anyway (which I think we all have things in our lives but that is just life) when I was young I hated washing dishes.  My mom would call me into the kitchen to help and I would briefly or I would say I had to go to the bathroom and then by the time I returned she was already done.  (see I found an easy way out...an excuse)

So this Fibromyalgia fits unfortunately right in to what I think is one of the areas that God has been working with me for a long time.  There is no easy fix, I have to work hard and to my part, I can't give up, I have to have faith and lean on Him to make the changes that are necessary and good for me.

I walked out of the doctors office with comfort in knowing what it is, a little bit of hope, a prescription for a medicine to try to see if it works or not then will have to move to something else (trial and error), a paper with a a title of a book that the doctor said I needed to have, a receipt for the visit to give to my husband.

I have the book in hand now.  I will start reading it and researching to find ways of dealing with this new constant pain in my life that I better make friends with to get by.  I will also be leaning on God and throwing myself into his word so that I won't have to do all this alone. (and won't lose my mind totally....lol just kidding)