Reflecting

Yesterday I spend most of it going through pictures.  I have put them all in photo albums, or frames or have them set aside to work on scrapbooks.  They were pictures of the past with the kids, family and my ex-husband.  It all was sort of bittersweet.  I actually can say that I enjoyed looking through them.  There was a time when I would go through different emotions, from sadness to anger to bitterness.  But now I can look back and see the beauty in it all.  All the joys and smiles, and laughter.  All the hidden moments to cherish.  Of course there were tears, harsh words and actions that can be seen it in all too but that is what this life here is all about. (trials and blessings)  However I can sit here and say thank you.  I'm thankful for all the ups and downs that I had gone through.  Thankful for all the blessings and trials that has brought me to this point in my life.

My relationship has grown deeper and closer to God.  I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me.  I have a church family that I can lean on when needed.  I have God in the center of my marriage.  He is also leading in the raising of my children.  I make decisions based on "What would Jesus Do" (I do try but fall at times I know)  I have such an inner peace inside that I thought I would never find.  I remember looking for so long in the years past and look back at the damage that happened in the process of looking and seeking it in the wrong places.  The "right" inner peace is with you Jesus, thank you my friend.

There are times that I can't help but look back to the past with my ex-husband because when I look at my children on a daily basis he is there.  I can see a look or an expression or something they said, you know how it is we sit there and pick out what is like each of us in our children.  My son Kyle is looking more and more like his father every day.

I'm so thankful for the second chance to have a complete marriage with God, myself and my husband Micah.  I'm so thankful that I have a church family that can help me guide my children in the direction they need to find God.  I'm so thankful for the power of prayer.

That is why today my prayer (and I hope that you will help me with this too) goes out to my ex-husband.  His name is Scott and he needs the power of prayer.  He need God at the center of his life.  He needs Jesus as his friend by his side.  I want him to know that there is hope.  That his future will turn out for the better despite all the trials he has overcome or is in the middle of right now.  Show him the blessings of the past and the hope to look forward for more to come.  Only God knows his plan for him but in the mean time help him through this unknowing, lost sort of place he is at right now in his life.  Please God share a part of your plan right now with Scott so that he take a few steps forward on his path towards you and his new blessing that is right around the corner waiting for him.  Its waiting for him to reach out to you, waiting for him to just ask you to help him, show him, guide him, and love him.  Lord he is the father of my beautiful children that you entrusted us to bring into this world and serve you so it is my plea for Scott to find you and have hope to start living a life his life again.  To really live again but with his faith and hope in you to bring him out of his trials now and onto to blessings that will fulfill him and bring him inner peace too.  Yes, I think that after all this that I have mentioned I want that the most for him.....inner peace.  Amen

Thank you Lord, you are all powerful and all loving.