Still not working

 Well here it is almost the end of April and I sit at my table unemployed without unemployment benefits which makes it really tough this time around.  There has been a dry spell without any interviews until recently. I had one on Monday and yesterday (Thursday), I hope to hear back from one or both of them middle of next week.  I can see myself working at either place so its a matter of which one offers me first and the most money for the most part.  One is an eye care place and the other is a financial wealth place like I worked at before.  The waiting is the hardest part but that is what it is so I will wait and see what happens.

I've been staying with doing things around the house, painting, spending time with my family.  There are days that its harder than others to stay positive and not get sucked into my own little pitty party but I manage.

Last weekend we went to Phoenix to celebrate my grandmother's 92nd birthday!

It was a sweet and fun time! I enjoyed being around my grandmother, she has not lost her spunk!  Karlee was out of town visiting her half sister, we missed her but she had seen grandmother a few months back.

We enjoyed the weekend and then Ben, Kyle and I headed back to Flagstaff, back to reality. Next month is going to be so busy! Mothers Day, my birthday, Sara's graduation, and her moving out oh and in between all that a family BBQ to celebrate it all!  I'm looking forward to the next month of fun, moments and memories!

Two interviews down

 This time around being unemployed is looking very different at this point than the last time.  Last time was hard with politics and covid and lack of jobs.  There seems to be more jobs available and people actually trying to hire as well.  I have the feeling that this time around it won't be long before I land a job. Last week I had two interviews, one via zoom and one in person.  They both have asked for a second interview and those will take place this week.

I'm working hard staying busy and positive. I'm so thankful for a supportive family.  I enjoyed some time in Phoenix with my girls and warmth with lots of sunshine! I've been staying busy painting and trying to find ways to sell my paintings.  I love painting but it would be awesome if my paintings were hung on others walls to enjoy them as much as I do.

Everything takes time......

We shall see what this week will bring.

Things are looking up

Despite the windy, cold, gray look outside with snow on its way for the next few days things are looking a little brighter in my corner of the world.  I have a job interview by zoom on Friday at 11:00 a.m. and one other job inquiring has asked for more information that may lead to an interview as well.  I'm very thankful and plan on shining my best so that I can start a new adventure soon with a new place of employment.

In the mean time I've been working hard at getting my art out there on social media with facebook, instagram and a blog.  As time goes on and things move along I will consider starting a business on Etsy but for now I will have fun with what I have going on for now.  It takes a little chunk of time daily to work on social media especially if I want to be taken serious and actually try to sell my paintings online.

I am enjoying that I get to be at home on a cold day like today and the next upcoming ones so that I can hide and stay warm.  My body hurts so bad on days like these and it bums me out too.  I plan on doing a few things around the house and some painting of course and maybe even lay down and take a nap.  I didn't sleep good last night so some extra rest to feel better might be the best thing to do.

P.S.

www.canvasbykat.blogspot.com

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Frustrated and a little depressed

 This morning I woke up at 2:00 a.m. and could not go back to sleep, well I tried and then around 3:00 a.m. Ben nudged me so that would stop snoring.  I was on my back asleep.  I'm a side sleeper and my hips have started to bother me again.  They hurt so bad to lay on them that's why I couldn't really go back to sleep.  Since he has to work and I'm unemployed again and don't need to get a ton of sleep, I got up and went to lay on the couch in the living room so that he could go back to sleep and be rested for work.

I found myself emotional this morning and trying not to lead on to anyone that I was but I think they knew.  As soon as they walked out of the house and barely out of the driveway I gave way to the tears that had welled up in my eyes.  I let them lose for just a moment and then I stopped and just sat there staring out into space for a bit.

As much as I enjoy being at home I don't do well with unemployment, I get lonely and bored.  I'm a social butterfly, I like to go go!  I do enjoy my down time but I'm a people person.  I spent most of 2021 unemployed and it was hard.  I was barely able to pay all my bills, only because at that time with Covid stuff going on there was an extra 300 bucks for awhile!  That is not there this time!  I will not have enough to pay all of my bills!!  

Ben is already stressed out with helping Sara out at times and then you add me now and its a ton.  He has even talked about getting a second job to work at night after he gets off of work all day working on big trucks!  I don't want him to do that!

I've already updated my resume and applied to three jobs so far and just today applied for unemployment.  Waiting to see what the next step will be and how long will it take before I'm back on my feel again.

One thing that keeps me sane and going and occupied is painting and figuring out how I can share it with others so that others can have some of my paintings in their homes to enjoy.

My last drive into work

 

Who knew that Friday morning, Feb. 11th was going to be my last drive to where I was working, at a school.  A beautiful sky that I wanted to paint so I took a quick photo of it so I could remember how it looked.  It's interesting looking back now at the very little details of the day that happened up until the moment I was called into the office before leaving for the day.  I made a point to clean out my little area and straighten things up.  I took my little winter scene paintings to the car so I wouldn't forget them.  I was planning on brining in a different little painting to display.  I made a point to clean the fridge with whatever was mine.  Happy moments and words were exchanged that made my heart so happy to hear.  Some of the kids were finally saying my name "Ms. Katrina" and a few said nice things to me.  

It was a great Friday!  I had a great person, my partner in the office that was fun to be around, laugh with and work with, we were a good team!  The one in charge was working on campus at the location I was at instead of the middle school like she had done each Friday in the past, at the time not understanding why she was there.  She didn't seem very chipper and happy around me, almost like avoiding talking to much to me.  Well I understand now why, since she started out saying that she had been dreading the end of the day as I walked into her office.  She asked to speak with me before leaving for the day, I could feel that I wasn't going to like the moment that was about to unfold.  I didn't at all, she was letting me go saying I wasn't a good fit. Shocked and confused and upset I left the office crying, headed to my area and gathered up my things and asked my friend/co-worker to follow me out and get the lunch totes out of my car.  She was confused, concerned and shocked once I told her that I no longer work there anymore.

With a big hug and tears in our eyes I left my friend/ex-coworker now, got in my car and sat there bawling my eyes out as I texted Ben to inform him what had just happened.  He called me right away and calmed me down so that I could drive out of the parking lot and go wash my car, and get something to eat and wait to go pick him up.

The end of Jan then into Feb 2022

Since Christmas I haven't really seen any of my kiddos.  I've talked to them and they are all doing okay.  Well there have been some ups and downs with them but they find a way to keep moving forward.  Kyle now has a working washer machine with a matching dryer.  That has made his life much better and a little less stressful.  I know its the simple things in life......

Karlee hates her job and wants to move one to something else, in fact yesterday (2-4-22) she sends me a text message informing me that she plans on putting in her two weeks notice on Monday.  Its a little scary when my kids make those decisions but they are their own and adults and they have to do what they need to do for themselves.

Sara is up and down like a rollercoaster with her happiness and mental health.  It breaks my heart that my 19 year old deals with depression.  I pray everyday for God to help her and for me to know how I can support her from a distance.

I've had a few bad days at work and a tough and negative conversation but I've been moving past that and hoping for better and brighter days.  I feel like this is my last job to make it work, it took so long to find it after being unemployed for 7 1/2 months.  I have to make this work!

At the end of Jan. the girls came for the weekend.  We had fun and enjoyed a yummy board that Karlee put together.

I've painting away.....well trying to squeeze in time whenever I can, mostly on the weekends.

Karlee helped me start a new instagram just for my paintings.  I've asked by friend on Facebook to start a Facebook page for my paintings as well and to list them to sell them.  I guess for a self-taught still learning painter I'm doing okay.  I love it! I didn't think I could do such a thing, never thought of myself as painter.  I've always wanted to draw and enjoyed art class years ago but painting is so much fun.

We enjoyed a night of Sara on Tuesday! (2-1-22)

Ben and Sara always take a pic together when she comes home.  :)

Life just keeps moving forward each day.  Life might bring ups and downs but I'm truly blessed and thankful for what I have.

 

Closure

 

This is a wine rack.  I have a nice memory attached to this wooden wine rack.  My dad and I were out and about one day in El Paso.  There was this store that hadn't been open very long and now that I think of it, it didn't stay open very long either.  It was a store that had a variety of random items in it.  My dad had been and told me about it and so one day we went.  As we walked up and down the over stuffed isles of interesting clutter we came up this wine rack.  I didn't need it, I liked it a lot.  My dad bought it for me.  I was so happy and thankful.  I was daddy's little girl....what can I can.I miss him, is what I can say.  I miss my daddy.  This one of the memories that I hold tight to.  

This wine rack has been on the wall at my 2nd ex husbands house for the last 6 years.  I left it hanging along with so many other items.  I didn't want to leave it but I could't take it with me, I had no space for it.  I told Micah that if it was alright I would just leave it there along with my other wine items that decorated his walls at his house.  It went well with the area that it hung.  I told him that it was mine and that one day I would want it back.  He promised that it would be okay to continue to hang on the wall until I was able to take it back.

He contacted me back in December and told me that he sold the house and that I would have to come get what I wanted that I had left at the house before the end of January.  Last weekend Ben and I went to Micah's house to get my wine rack and a few other items.  I ended up leaving behind so many things but they didn't have a place in my life anymore and I was okay with letting them go.  The only item I was focused on getting back was my wine rack.  I still don't have a place for it so that I can enjoy it at this moment, and sadly I will have to put it in storage until that day but I'm happy I have it back.

For the longest time it weighed on me that I still had part of my life out there in the walls of another house that I was no longer apart of and didn't want to be.  Now I can truly walk away and have what I wanted from that life and keep moving forward, that brings such peace to my heart, and mind.