My grandmother had left a message on my phone to go by her house before I went home from bible study this morning. So I did. To be honest I didn't want to. I felt like I needed time to myself and sort of wanted to hide and process things from earlier in the morning. But I didn't I put a weak smile on my face, my sunglasses on my face (realizing that it my grandmother wouldn't notice if I had been crying with her one good eye), and feeling a little more hopeful headed over to my grandmothers.
I'm so glad I went. She greeted me with smiles and a big hug. She is such a delight. So cute and funny with her tell it like it is. I ended up having lunch with her and helping her gather some things up that she wanted to get rid of also discovering that she was going to move to Texas and live with my mom and step-dad. The whole thing, going over there, having lunch, and conversation was the best re-route of thought I needed at the time.
I left there feeling even more hopeful and ready to keep moving forward.
I went by the church to get rid of some of things my grandmother wanted to pass on to the church for their sales and things. I went home, then to the gym then home again. By now I was feeling better but had a headache and was very tired. I laid down on the couch and told the girls that I was going to rest for a little while then start dinner. An hour later I woke up and Micah was home.
I went to say hi to him and tell him about my grandmother moving and then to start dinner.......
What a day! God you are amazing! Thank you
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Community
Today didn't start out very well. I was on my way to bible study praying to God and asking him to help me get through my day. I tried to really stop crying and get myself presentable. I walked in to the church feeling like if someone were to ask me how I was I was going to crumble. Part of me wanted someone to ask and the other part didn't. I was early so I had time to walk around and look like everything was fine and say "Hi" and smile as I greeted whoever I saw. It was hard, everything wasn't alright and I didn't want to pretend. The moment a friend of mine walked in the door I knew I was going to loose it. She greeted me with a smile and hug and asked me how I was and that was all it took for the flood gates to open up and unleash the tears. I couldn't hold back anymore, as hard as I tried I just couldn't act like everything was fine.
We left the room and I unloaded on her about my morning and the last few days. Shortly afterward I was in the pastors office with her and we were all talking. I cried, and listened and talked some and then we prayed. I went back into the room to where the bible study had gone on without us to get my purse to leave. I was quickly surrounded with arms that hugged me tight. Not many words were shared, the simple hug was enough to show that they cared. I went to the table where my purse was and found a note on my bible from a friend.
The best thing I could do this morning with the way I was feeling was to walk into my church, drop my smile and really be honest with how I wasn't okay.
We left the room and I unloaded on her about my morning and the last few days. Shortly afterward I was in the pastors office with her and we were all talking. I cried, and listened and talked some and then we prayed. I went back into the room to where the bible study had gone on without us to get my purse to leave. I was quickly surrounded with arms that hugged me tight. Not many words were shared, the simple hug was enough to show that they cared. I went to the table where my purse was and found a note on my bible from a friend.
The best thing I could do this morning with the way I was feeling was to walk into my church, drop my smile and really be honest with how I wasn't okay.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Always Trusting
Enjoy serving the Lord, and he will give you what you want.
Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you. Psalms
37:4-5
I just read this in my email and it hit me upside the head hard! I need this verse today. I'm feeling a little dark cloud growing over my head developing a storm inside. I'm feeling stressed and questioning what to do and all I find myself doing is looking upward and praying to God despite the dark cloud drifting over my family. I will do my best to just deal with what is in front of me as it comes and not to worry about the unknown. I will only keep what I can handle and give the rest to you Lord God. I will pray and I will trust you to take care of me and my family.
I thought I would post this but as I re-read it I'm hesitant. I don't want you to think that I'm looking for drama or problems in my life. I'm not in fact I've been ready for a break for a long time now. I also don't want you to think that I'm focusing on all the little worries and think the worst and all that. I"m also not going to let my emotions get the best of me but......trials and storms are apart of our lives and they help us grow and become more Christ-like. So all I'm saying is that I see a little dark cloud that could develop into a storm and I want to be prepared with Christ on how to meet the next storm.
Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you.
I just read this in my email and it hit me upside the head hard! I need this verse today. I'm feeling a little dark cloud growing over my head developing a storm inside. I'm feeling stressed and questioning what to do and all I find myself doing is looking upward and praying to God despite the dark cloud drifting over my family. I will do my best to just deal with what is in front of me as it comes and not to worry about the unknown. I will only keep what I can handle and give the rest to you Lord God. I will pray and I will trust you to take care of me and my family.
I thought I would post this but as I re-read it I'm hesitant. I don't want you to think that I'm looking for drama or problems in my life. I'm not in fact I've been ready for a break for a long time now. I also don't want you to think that I'm focusing on all the little worries and think the worst and all that. I"m also not going to let my emotions get the best of me but......trials and storms are apart of our lives and they help us grow and become more Christ-like. So all I'm saying is that I see a little dark cloud that could develop into a storm and I want to be prepared with Christ on how to meet the next storm.
Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
14 years ago K.M.C.
The weekend has been busy. Friday started off with Karlee's friends coming over for a sleepover.
Sunday, today we picked up my grandmother and took her to church with us and brought her home to have lunch with us for Karlee's birthday.
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| Karlee with her great-grandmother |
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| My grandmother & I |
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| My Karlee Girl & I |
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| Daddy-O & Karlee |
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| Micah grilled some hamburgers for lunch. |
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| Karlee's Best Friend Arynn came over to spend the day with Karlee. Karlee was being silly. |
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| they wouldn't stop laughing..... |
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| wood burning plaques with their names on it. |
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The Old and The New
After bible study I began to think about who I was before and who I
am now. You know the old me the new me sort of thing or should I say
the old self and the new self. There have been times when I've struggled with my old self wanting to come back into the picture. This morning we talked about the old
self and the new self and how we should be and shouldn't be. Its only
with God that I can be who I am today. Jesus Christ went through so
much for me and many others to show us, to be the example of who the
"new" self should be. Jesus also made it very clear that he was totally
dependent upon God and did nothing without it coming from God first. Once again being the example for us.
It takes work everyday on our part to be the "new" instead of the old. I like the "new" in me and don't want to return to the "old". I know there have been occasions that I have regressed, but that is the human side of us all. I think its so important to remember who made the way for me to be "new". He gave up so much for me and you.
Jesus put on his robe of humanity so that He could take our place and die for us to be free from Satan and our sins. He humbled himself and was obedient until his death. Wow just letting that sink in, to really sink in to my thoughts leaves me speechless and very very grateful. Thank you Heavenly Father for giving up your only son. Here let me put it another way to help it impact in your mind by using His Holy Word.
Philippians 2:5-8
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
By looking above is how I intend to stay focused. By falling into my bible will help me to stay on task of being the "new". By putting on God's armor will help me keep the negative away that wants to destroy the "new". We all have more "jobs" than we really know and we need to add "being the new self" as one because it takes us submitting to God to make it happen, every single day.
After getting dressed in the morning, before we walk out that door, there should be a few things that are waiting to be placed on to start our new day. A belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, gospel and peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit.
Isaiah 61:10
"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."
So why shouldn't we really work at being the "new self" instead of the "old self", so much was given up for it after all?
I pray that I can always strife to be Christ-like, to be the New that I am today not what I was, the had been that lays in the past. I move forward into the new day, into the future with Him.
It takes work everyday on our part to be the "new" instead of the old. I like the "new" in me and don't want to return to the "old". I know there have been occasions that I have regressed, but that is the human side of us all. I think its so important to remember who made the way for me to be "new". He gave up so much for me and you.
Jesus put on his robe of humanity so that He could take our place and die for us to be free from Satan and our sins. He humbled himself and was obedient until his death. Wow just letting that sink in, to really sink in to my thoughts leaves me speechless and very very grateful. Thank you Heavenly Father for giving up your only son. Here let me put it another way to help it impact in your mind by using His Holy Word.
Philippians 2:5-8
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
By looking above is how I intend to stay focused. By falling into my bible will help me to stay on task of being the "new". By putting on God's armor will help me keep the negative away that wants to destroy the "new". We all have more "jobs" than we really know and we need to add "being the new self" as one because it takes us submitting to God to make it happen, every single day.
After getting dressed in the morning, before we walk out that door, there should be a few things that are waiting to be placed on to start our new day. A belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, gospel and peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit.
Isaiah 61:10
"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."
So why shouldn't we really work at being the "new self" instead of the "old self", so much was given up for it after all?
I pray that I can always strife to be Christ-like, to be the New that I am today not what I was, the had been that lays in the past. I move forward into the new day, into the future with Him.
The was, were and is
Today on my way to Ladies Bible study a few thoughts came to mind. I started to briefly think about where I came from, where I was and where I am now. Its hard to believe all the changes that have happened. I also had to stop and realize that in this moment things aren't as bad as I may want to make them in comparison to what they were. I have to also realize how many things have come about from what was, and is now. I'm so thankful for where I am at now in my life. Thank you Lord, Jesus, thank you.
I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works. I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:1-2
Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation! Psalm 68:19
SIMPLE GRATITUDE HELPS US EXPERIENCE GOD AT WORK IN EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY. Harriet Crosby
I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works. I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:1-2
Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation! Psalm 68:19
SIMPLE GRATITUDE HELPS US EXPERIENCE GOD AT WORK IN EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY. Harriet Crosby
Monday, September 19, 2011
Parenting
I am a mother of 3 and a step-mom of one. My three are Karlee (14), Kyle (11 will be 12 in Feb) and Sara (8 almost 9 in Dec) and Dillon my step-son is 15 (16 in April). So there you have it 4 kids in the house, my husband and I, 2 dogs and a cat. Life is interesting with its ups and downs. I love all my kids but there are days that its difficult to like what they do or say sometimes. Being a parent is a challenge at any age. At this point in my life I'm dealing with the teenager stage. And at this point I feel like I won't survive and be ready for the next two.
I know I will survive and we will all come out of this stage in the end in a good and loving way but until then...I have to be honest and wonder and do a bunch of praying. I have been doing a lot deep "sigh" and again "sigh". I have been frustrated and frowning in one moment and then in the next laughing and smiling with them. There have been moments of tears and loud voices and maybe a few doors that shut really hard (okay they were slammed) but like I said before there are times that there is laughter and smiles and hugs and getting along too. Life is a ride and parenting is a roller coaster ride.
I'm not too comfortable with roller coaster rides but this is one ride that I'm on that God can help me with. I will take a deep breathe, a few moments alone to re-group when needed. I will respond calmly in love. I will listen then respond. I will love each one. I will kiss and hug them good night and wave good bye in the morning on their way out the door to school and then start the day again. I will continue this ride in God's hands.
Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
I know I will survive and we will all come out of this stage in the end in a good and loving way but until then...I have to be honest and wonder and do a bunch of praying. I have been doing a lot deep "sigh" and again "sigh". I have been frustrated and frowning in one moment and then in the next laughing and smiling with them. There have been moments of tears and loud voices and maybe a few doors that shut really hard (okay they were slammed) but like I said before there are times that there is laughter and smiles and hugs and getting along too. Life is a ride and parenting is a roller coaster ride.
I'm not too comfortable with roller coaster rides but this is one ride that I'm on that God can help me with. I will take a deep breathe, a few moments alone to re-group when needed. I will respond calmly in love. I will listen then respond. I will love each one. I will kiss and hug them good night and wave good bye in the morning on their way out the door to school and then start the day again. I will continue this ride in God's hands.
Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
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