Christmas tree lights

I love the twinkle of color that the lights give off in the dark of the room on the green tree.  I love all the colors, just white lights are boring, the colors come more alive.   I love the peace it brings to heart as I sit looking upon the tree.  I love the cozy warm feeling it brings to me as I sit and remember our fireplace growing up, the crackle of the fire and then the twinkle of the lights. I sit in silence staring off beyond the twinkle into my own little world of memories and emotions.  Memories from my childhood dance around in my mind, with my little brother.  The next little twinkle sends me to when my kids were small and all the Christmas's of all of them so little and all together.  I can't help but to drift in and out from the past into reality.  Reality is a little different and seems to change each year as the kids get older. Cherishing the quite moment in the dark with the twinkle of the colors to drift back on, so thankful for my memories.

 

My drive into work

The last couple of days of this past week I purposely left early, earlier than I would need to head into town to go to work.  This picture does not do it justice but as I drove into work to view the beauty in the sky I couldn't help but feel a deep gratefulness for everything and everyone in my life.

The sky with all the pretty colors was amazing, I had to remind myself that I was driving so I would stop looking up and out into the sky while driving. I went through so many deep emotions while driving to work with the sky so beautiful from sadness to peacefulness.  I did feel like God had me held close to him and that was a huge comforting feeling.  Especially when you feel so many things that you can not fix or control but have to pray and trust in.

 

A moment of silence

 Its 6:15 a.m. Wed morning, Nov. 11th and I find myself sitting at my table again with no one else home but me.  As I'm drinking my coffee a thought crosses my mind.  Yesterday I was tired and missing my kids a ton.  In the silence that had surrounded me I felt lonely.  This morning sitting here in the silence I feel calm and peaceful, embracing the moment of silence before heading off to work to start my day.  Its interesting how a simple moment of silence can either be so much or not be and can make you feel one way and then another in the next moment.  We shall see where this moment will carry me as the day gets going.

At this moment

 It's almost 4:30 p.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 9th, its quite in the house since I'm the only one home right now.  Its cloudy and windy outside with a slight chill in the late afternoon air.  I'm feeling really tired and drained, it was a good day but I'm still tired.  As I was driving home today from work and as I sit here alone my heart is aching.  I am missing my kids so much right now at this moment!  I miss having all of them close.  I miss my girls being around to meet up with for shopping, lunch or hanging out.  I miss my son living at home, yes I mean it, then I was able to see him come and go and talk to him here and there.  This year there have been so many changes and its been a struggle at times, adjusting to my nest being empty.  I miss my kids! I miss them so much!!!  

I'm going to sit here in the dining room area with no light on, in the silence with only hearing my wind chimes and the breeze blowing outside for a moment.  A moment of quite.  I'm going to sit here and just feel, feel the my feelings and let them be whatever they are right now at this moment.  Then I'm going to get up from the table and begin my evening routine of cleaning up the kitchen, and preparing dinner for the evening, and then greeting Ben and Susan and continuing the evening until I go to bed to rest before starting a new day to see where the next moment will lead me.

My new passion

 

I've discovered that painting has become a new passion for me.  Its a creative outlet that lets me relax and be creative and learn.  I'm loving it!.  I think I'm a little addicted I can't help but watch videos or look up tips and tutorials about painting. 

When I'm out and about especially driving down the road I can't help but look at the colors and shapes that surround me and imagine painting them and thinking I wanna paint a sky like that or a tree that I see passing by.

My kids tease me that when I discover something I like to do that I really get into it.  Well I say why not!

If money and time were no object I would spend it being creative and being with family.

October 2021

October has been busy busy!  The weather has still been decent, even though it seems like we skipped Fall. This post is random and full, I think the pictures will explain better than I can. 

This simple plastic ice cream cup and wooden spoon takes me back to my childhood.  I have lots of fun memories associated to eating ice cream in that little container.  I think about my daddy, the country club, movie night and my mom and dad enjoying an evening knowing that my brother and I were taken care of enjoying our selves while they enjoy some adult time with others at the El Paso Natural Gas Co. Country Clue.

My little Sara bear!  Her second day of school in her scrubs! So proud of her!

Me and my daddy!

Me and my daddy.  Its been 6 years without him. I miss him so much.

Started my Fall break with a weekend of Sara.  Enjoyed a night of pizza in honor of my daddy.

(Sara Visit from Oct. 8th to the 10th)

We ended our weekend with sushi!

I came home to this from Benjamin! hahahaha 

I came home from Sara's for the night before heading to my mom's and Ben headed to Phoenix for training. 

Second half of my Fall Break I went to Eager to spend time with my mom and step dad. Of course we painted!! What else would we possible do? hahahahaha

(mom visit from Oct. 12th to the 15th)

We followed along to our first Bob Ross video. That was so much fun!

Lattes and painting by day and Wine and painting by night!

Me and my little mommy!

A group of all my paintings.

Home sweet home!  I missed this handsome guy!  A week is a long time to be away from each other.

(returned from mom's on Oct. 15th)

Add a few new plants (Christmas Cactus)

This past weekend (Oct. 23-24)

Sara come home on Saturday and spent the night. While she studied I painted.

I love my Sara bear!!

That takes us to the start of the last week of October 2021!  Today is Monday and it wasn't a bad day, it was a windy day but a good one.  Tomorrow I have to work at the Bonito campus, I don't enjoy it as much but I've realized that I need to change my mind set and embrace it and work hard at making it a positive time when I work there just I do at the Cedar campus. As far as the rest of the week I don't have any plans so we will have to wait and see how it all unfolds.  Saturday Ben and I will help his mom with the trunk or treat at the church.  Sunday we always do our best to rest and recover and regroup.

Last Weekend in September

Last Saturday Ben and I had the house to ourselves until later on Sunday.  Susan went to Gallup to help her sister go through their mother's things.  Ben and I enjoy out time together all the time but when there is a chance that its just him and I we really find ways to enjoy it and make it memorable. We don't always do much but its just the fact we are together and taking time to spend with each other. 

We said we were tired and decide that we would go take a nap, it was mid-morning why not.  Ben on Casa Blanca.  It warmed my heart and made it the perfect movie to lay down and cuddle and take a nap too.

The next day, Sunday I ended up fighting a cold.  My throat started hurting on Saturday afternoon and Sunday I was miserable and had a fever too.  I wanted to fight it and was determined to get rid of it in one day!  I slept on and off all day long.

Monday was a tough day at work but I got through it.  Tuesday after work I found myself at Safeway after work and I stood there looking at the items on the belt and decided it was an odd combination and took a pic of this quietly.  

The cold meds was for me so that I could sleep and rest at night.  The pickles was for me and Susan.  There were two bread and butter pickle packs, she loves that kind.  I hadn't been drinking enough water since my throat had been hurting so I was dealing with getting cramps in my toes.

I had heard that drinking pickle juice would help, I didn't want to get a cramp in my foot while driving home so I wanted to try it out.

The whiskey was for Benjamin.

The pickle juice worked!!