Let Downs and Hurt

Last week I dealt with some let downs and hurt from relationships in my life.  I guess you can call them relationships or ideas of them, I don't know.  I've had this blog of mine for a long time now and I enjoy having it.  I had created a blog type facebook page a long time ago for the church I used to attend.  I thought I had inactivated the page.  It turns out that I did not and it was still floating out there for women to stumble upon.  It was for the women's ministry.  Two people contacted me on the message side of the page asking about who is the one that created the page and how to get into contact with them.  The other one asked if the page could be turned over to them.  It caught me off guard.  I actually put it out of my mind for a couple of days as if I didn't know anything about it but then a text message came across my phone one morning at work, just before I got my day started.  My first reaction was irritation, I was upset and hurt that the person who messaged me didn't remember that it was me that had created that page.  Its like I felt like I had been forgotten.  I know for some of you, might be saying well that is silly or that is childish and it shouldn't matter and it shouldn't be taken personally.  I know but I couldn't help but feel the way I was feeling.

I also was feeling rushed to make a decision to turn it over or to have them start over.  The one who contacted me said that she was being pesterd to get it going again.  Now at this point I was thinking that they should just start over.  It was something that I worked hard at and something I put passion behind at the time.  She had a valid point, that it was still enforce and that it was already known and the foundation was there to build upon, easy to get going again and get the word out.

After a few days of putting it off and trying not to be childish about it I finally let it go.  I said that she had some good points and then I went into Facebook and made the changes and added the person that could have control of it now and gave it up.  It was hard to do.  I think because it was another remind of how I felt let down and hurt by the church I had gone to as a whole.  A place that I poured myself into and was forgotten.  I was part of the women's ministry that I gave my gifts too and had a card ministry and then the page and even a blog (the blog I took down along time ago).  But when I my "cup" was empty, it stayed empty.

It started to bother me how I was reacting and thinking about it all.  I think I've worked through it now, sort of and will continue with my Heavenly Father. 

Well the Lord does have his way of getting our attention....

The other day in my email was a devotional titled " What to do when Church Disappoints".  That certainly caught my attention, I made note of it until I had time to sit and read it. It was a short read but there were a few statements that jumped out to me.
"The purpose of the church is primarily twofold: strengthen one another and draw unbelievers to the Lord.  We need to be a part of a local church so that our gifts/calling can be put in actions."

So at this point not only was God changing my perspective on my attitude for the situation but he was getting my attention about going back to church or at least finding a new one or putting myself in a situation where there is fellowship again.

The rest of it went on to say:
We can't love Christ and dismiss His body--anymore than someone can love a parent--but hate the child.  Jesus wants His children to find ways to love one another and work towards reconciliation/understand as much as possible.

The third step is to restore ourselves in church fellowship that gives opportunity to serve the body of Christ and our communities.  

I have experienced first hand of giving when I didn't feel like giving, it brought me joy and the other joy and that was such a good feeling.

It went on....

Then this came up:
Resist the urge to underestimate the value of your presence and spiritual gifts that you bring to your local church.

The Prayer at the bottom of the page:
Dear God, I'm disappointed in my church, but I know that You've called me to serve in the ministry.  Lead me in the right direction that will result in glory to Your name.  In Jesus' name, amen.

credit to Daughters of the Creator by Crystal McDowell

So with this I will work on my feeling of being hurt and let down and let it go.  I will also look into a new church again, I had looked awhile back but.....I also have to say that at this point I can not bring myself to go back into the church family of my past.  I think that is alright.  I am a different person than when I had gone there.  I think it was a stepping stone.  There is one thing that did come out of that church family, its an amazing woman in my life that is very dear to me and I'm not sure where I would be today if it wasn't for her being there for me.  She knows who she is.....she recently got a new fur baby to love on.  I'm thankful for you my beautiful friend.

I'm thankful for the Lord.  I'm thankful that He knows how and when to speak into my life.