Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Safeway Parking Lot Before Work

I have time before I get to work to run into Safeway to grab a bagel to eat at my desk this morning.  Before going into the store I sat in the parking lot typing out my things that ran through my head and that I was feeling.  The words below are from the note pad in my phone.

"I feel like I'm at a place of release.  Releasing the emotions that have held me captive in a place of anxiety and discouragement and failure.  But I feel like something has clicked or switched or dumped out and I can feel it leave me.  I know its odd and sounds crazy but I can't help it.  It really feels like something is leaving me and I'm starting to feel awaken.  Like my soul can breathe and fly free with a renewed hope in this crazy life I have and this crazy world I live in and take care of my family in.
 I feel alive!
The songs continue.....




I finally feel strong enough to listen again to Christian music.  When the music stirs in my heart and emotions flood I turned my back and shut my heart down because I haven't wanted to deal with the emotions and thoughts and things that it brings.  I think of being unworthy, not whole and a failure and weak.  But now I cranked up the radio on the way to work and every song that came on spoke to me like it was picked out just for me!  I feel strong!  I feel alive I feel His power!  I do feel like crying but I think that would be more a an emotional release but I have to set it aside for now since I'm sitting here at the Safeway paring lot before I drive over to work after picking up a bagel to eat this morning.



I was set to walk into the office, to smile and feel happy and be happy.  I didn't know what the day would bring but it didn't matter with the renewed feeling I was feeling inside.

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