I can't help but sit here and look out my window and think of change. The wind is blowing today and there is a chill in the air. Its sunny but as I look at the leaves blowing on the trees the color is almost a deep golden yellow. Well it is mid-September so the season is starting to change, the nights are chilly too.
I should be at work, its almost noon here on Friday at the end of the week and the beginning of the weekend but the system at work is down and so my boss said not to come in until its back up, and that was around 8:30 this morning.
As I stare out my window I can't help but feel a warm feeling wash over me, sort of a cozy peaceful feeling. Its a nice feeling. It seems the best word to use is a feeling of transition or change. Change is always around us, the season is changing for one and that will bring change in our lives with what we wear, drink hot drinks and our out door activities.
Change in life can be a hard thing to deal with but maybe if we break it down into moments and deal with what with change in that moment and then move into the next and the next. It doesn't have to be a bad thing either.
Change can also help someone one, or bring cheer to their life or offer them a different way to look at something too or even rekindle a good feeling too. For example with Ben. Ben and I have been getting to know each other these last couple of months. Learning about each other has been easy to this point but there have been a couple tiny downs too. Its not a big deal to me because that comes with getting to know someone new, so its all good.
Its Ben's birthday today. He has been saying lately how its just another day and its no big deal. I'm okay with that but I still see it as a chance to do something to show how I care and celebrate that person just a little bit. He is on vacation and has been busy doing things around his yard outside in Parks. He told me a bit ago that he may not be in town tonight to come over until much later into the evening than usual because he wants to get things done while he is motivated to do it. I totally understand that and I said to him teasing that it was alright the would just have to eat his giant birthday cookie later.
When he responded back to me (we were talking on the phone), the connection was bad and he had been busy doing things and he was frustrated after talking with a friend that his response did come off a little rude and rough. He went on about he never celebrates it and that on this day he is never in a good mood. He quickly got off of the phone because the connect was worse and so we said bye and hung up.
I sent him a text message telling him that I would tone it down some and I wouldn't say or sing happy birthday to him and that the little gift I got him was a practical one and he'd probably laugh when he saw it. Then he texted back apologizing for sounding rude and coming off not very nicely and said that he was making it a bigger deal than it should be. He also said that he knows that I like to celebrate. I responded back and told him it was okay. He replied back saying that he felt bad. I told him really it was fine and that we are still learning each other but at the the time I wasn't gong to change who I was and how I like to do things for other that I care about but that I'd find a happy medium. Lastly he said that we can celebrate his birthday and that he actually thinks it great and that I actually care. Well big dummy of course I care, I didn't say that to him. I replied back saying okay and see you later.
I'd say that was a change for Ben, a shock to his system about someone wanting to take the time to show that they care for him on his birthday. He hasn't said too much about his past with his ex but I get the idea that he was emotionally hurt too. Change can be shocking but then it can be a good thing that will bring a smile to your face and feeling of joy.
And really his gifts are two water bottles that are suppose to keep your water really cold, he drinks a lot of water but uses regular water bottles that after awhile the water gets hot and the ice melts. And also a roll of duck tape, yes duck tape! I know it sounds odd but its just a little thing I picked up on. He will laugh when he sees it and its in his favorite color, black. Laughing about it is the point. I pay attention to the little things that people say because I hope to use them to put a smile on their face or a laugh in their voice. He told me once that you can never have too much duck tape, and the uses for it are unlimited and the guys at work are always taking his soooooo.....now do you get it!?
Ben has brought change into my life in a number of ways, by how he makes me smile and laugh, I could go on but my point is that change is always going on in our lives, some good and some shocking and some not so good but in the end change keeps us moving forward.
Looking out the window again.....now I wonder what this Fall will bring and then there will be Winter, will we have a ton of snow or not?
