Lately I feel like I'm on a path of slow and steady. Sort of like taking baby steps forward when you are not sure of how to walk. I feel like at times I don't know how to walk, but then I stop and take a deep breath and ask God to walk with me. It's crazy but at 42 I do struggle with being by myself....well I'm not alone, I have my girls and friends.
I go to the grocery store, I buy gas for the car, I take Sara here or there, I wash the dishes and I relax at night watching netflix then go to bed and its a new day. Yep looks normal and sounds normal and it is normal! Any of us can walk in our day as "normal" but my mind is else where and my heart aches.
My mind takes little trips down the "what if" trail. While my heart aches silently at night as I let a few tears out each night before I rest for the night.
So slow and steady in the Lord is all I know to do right now. I know He is there and I know I'm not alone, so slow and steady He leads me.
He leads me in my lack of communicating with my oldest and frustrating feeling of a failure.
He leads me to get my card making stuff out and finish up a dozen or more cards that I had started, and now are done and in the box to share.
He lead me to go on a walk with Sara yesterday afternoon, in the chilly breeze.
He leads me in the little things in life that have changed. My surroundings have changed, where I wash dishes has changed, the bathroom I clean, the floor I vacuum, the area outside, where I park my car at night........
He leads me slow and steady.......
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