The "Painter's Wife"

Saturday night Micah and I went to a party of someone he has worked with that was turning 60 years old.  I was excited about just getting out and doing something with Micah.  I can't think of the last "adult" party we have been too.  I soon started feeling a little awkward.  At first there were not many people there but it didn't take long for the house to fill.  The house was beautiful and the backyard with the deck all set to entertain was really nice.  We hadn't been there long but I managed to introduce myself to the people that looked at me after noticing who I came with.  The painter...Micah the painter.  One gentlemen I think embarrassed Micah some because he made a comment about him not introducing me.  I 'teased and said yes the painter has a wife. (I realize now I probably shouldn't have said that but...)

Moving on there were a few people that as I weaved in and out of people to get some food or a drink they would point out and say "oh there is Micah the painter" and then I found myself smiling and saying yes, and I'm the painters wife.  The two ladies thought that was cute and introduced themselves to me and praised Micah for all the good work he had done for them.

Finally Micah started to introduce me to people, but I couldn't help but notice how it seemed awkward for him to do.  It went straight to my achy heart but I was determined to be his wife and look the part.  There were moments I found myself standing by myself.  I would go stand next to Micah but there were a few times I ventured off and mingled.  I struck up conversations with the ones I thought there was something in common with, like one of the girlfriends that had coached a little girls softball team that Sara had played against.  There was a very nice couple that, the wife I felt like I had heard her voice before and had spoken to her on the phone before.  It turns out that she was a counselor at Coconino and knew of Dillon and his issues.  She is now at Sinagua doing something in the office.  Her husband I found out works for the El Paso Natural Gas Company.  Well that was perfect!  My dad and both my grandpas had been "gas company brats"

At one point I stood next to Micah and put my hand on the small of his back and let it rest there for a minute then rubbed it and let go.  I let go before the tears that could have been found quickly could build up in my eyes.  I couldn't help but realize that in Micah's eyes we are only husband and wife in name and paper beyond that there is.......a friendship.....but not a marriage.

I have struggled with this for some time now and I continue to lean on God for all that he provides and soothes in my life.  God whispers his promises to me and reassures me over and over.  I continue to love my husband.  God has a plan and he will take care of things.