Second Chances

Day two:
And the second chances begin.
I'm actually excited for all of us as whole family to have a clean slate to start over.

Okay hold your breath, go for a drive and clear your head.  As much as I was looking forward to starting over as a family with Dillon back in the house, I had to take an unplanned detour in the roller coaster relationship area with my husband.  It sort of shattered the excitement and brought me back to the cold reality of things.

(some things just don't change.  Harsh words exchanged ending with  tears and heartache.  Then in the next moment grace is given and forgiveness is asked for and love continues to move forward after crying out to Jesus and surrendering)

Micah and I shared a little ugly moment that left me in tears after he spoke harsh words to me.  I was crushed once again but uplifted my heavenly arms to keep walking forward and having hope shine bright in the distance.

(Forgiveness has settled in while the brokenness is put together with a few scattered pieces to move on into the next moment of offering hope and love despite it all...)

After my "time out" from the ugly little moment I went back home and started cooking dinner.  Later Micah apologized and hugged me and then we were on to the next moment in the evening.  We watched a movie together with Dillon downstairs and then said good night to Dillon before going into our room.  Micah sat on the edge of our bed starring out then he got up and stretched his arms and leaned his head back looking up for a moment then I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks.

(A broken man breaks down and sees things as hopeless and is ready to surrender everything if he knew it would get his son's attention)

Second chances are hard to give and they are hard to do.  Micah tried having a conversation with his that he hoped would point him in the right direction for good things to start happening.  The conversation fell on "I know" dad, or that doesn't have anything to do with it......

Micah wants so badly to get through to Dillon.  I sat beside Micah holding him while he crumbled with the hopelessness that he was feeling.  I spoke words of hope and encouragement only to find a wall in its place.  I silently cried out to the Lord and asked for him to make his presence known to Micah and to bring him peace and hope.  I got up to brush my teeth and Micah rolled over to his side to fall quickly to sleep.

(a wife offered love and hope with a raw heart from earlier only to feel more heartache for a man who doesn't see....)

Second Chances........

(Lord help me to keep moving towards my husband even though he walks away from me.  Be with us Lord, help us, mend us and bond us together.)