Give up & Let go

Lately its been hard to communicate with my step-son and on some level with my oldest daughter too, it depends on the day.  They are both growing and changing so quickly.  They don't know how to control their tempers, reactions and emotions. (and sadly enough at times neither do I)

I want so many  good things  for them but I can't do it for them or give it to them.  I'm not in control of that. God has a plan for each of them that I don't know about or would understand either.  It's hard to accept that because that means I have to Let go & Let God.

Let God set up the stage for them as he helps me set out a few choices for them and then let go--walk back and let them take, pick, make their decision and deal with what comes with it. God knows what they will pick and there is great comfort in knowing that too.  He will be ready for them and what becomes of the decision made.

I have to continue practicing the concept of Letting go & Letting God.  The very few times  I have done this has been hard but the results have turned out better than what I would have anticipated.  There is so much importance on Letting Go and Letting God than I realized.  (especially here lately with teenagers in the house)

I have gotten better at "slow to anger" but at times I feel so defeated.  I just want to "give up" & "stop caring" but I can't and won't.  Shortly after the times I go off on the anger path I have found my cooling off and stepping back, reflecting, evaluating time has shortened.  I look inwardly to myself with my mistakes and then at the rest of what took place.  I ask for forgiveness quickly afterwards.

I feel shameful for my behavior during my uncontrollable outbursts. I'm learning to say what I feel short and calmly then walk away for them to reflect. 

I cool down and let it drop and move on to the next moment working at not haning on to the moment before.  It's gone and in the past, a new moment is on its way.

I have shown love by hugging and saying I love you despite our differences at times.  Its hard at times but in the end very rewarding.

I may start off emotional and angry but soon I calm down and find peace in the moment afterward.  I know God is working in me and does not give up on me.  He pulls me through to the next moment where I need to be, saying what I needs to be said with His words. Doing the actions that praises and please Him in His guiding, powerful, peaceful, forgiving, loving light.  Full of His grace I journey in the life in this world until I can be beside him. Comforting, soothing, peaceful, loving, sweet all knowing Jesus is there in the time of need, thank you so very much.