Thankfulness Conquers

Being thankful I think is the key so many things in our lives.  I think being thankful helps conquer against Satan when he tries to wiggle his way into your thoughts.

This weekend I went and visited a friend who has helped bring me out of my shell so to speak, but she had been pushing me and others away and is in a negative place right  now.  I went to visit her and I'm so glad I did.  We talked and shared with each other, I think it helped both of us.  I'm thankful for her and her friendship and I didn't want to it to drift away so I went to her instead of waiting for her to come to me.

This weekend also allowed time for Ben and I to talk.  Our relationship is still so new that we still are leaning how the other thinks, feels, what bothers or doesn't bother the other one.  I didn't think it was that hard to get to know someone, in fact I remember is being easier than it is now, maybe because of being younger and having a different attitude on live and not so many negative things taken place yet in my life.  Now its a little harder to get to know someone, with walls or guards up because of how life has treated us over the years and the experiences we have lived through.

This weekend I conquered Satan from trying to bring in past hurts and thoughts from others and past relationships into this new relationship that is developing.  I'm so thankful that I have the Lord in my life to guide me, my thoughts, and reactions as long as I trust and lean on him and let it go to him.  That is what I did and so thankful.  I love the Lord and how he works in my life.

Negative Little Seeds of Doubt

I can't believe it is already September.  School has been going since the 10th of August, the kids have been busy with their sports and life just keeps moving along.  Before we know it the season will have changed and it will be in the middle of Fall.  Time can move so fast, these days I'm really trying to take life moment by moment and not think too far ahead.  Its not easy to do that and here lately I've had a few moments where I've gotten bogged down and have let Satan in to play with my thoughts and emotions.  Not good, nope not at all!  Satan can be mean when he just plants one little tiny seed of doubt and BOOM there it goes into a thousand crazy little thoughts of negativity and doubts!

Today I feel like I've been able to finally push him away again.  I'm sort of upset with myself to have let him play with my thoughts but then again I'm only human and God made us to be complex when it comes to our thoughts and emotions so that we can seek Him out and allow Him to lead us where we need to be and grow more and be close to Him.  So really at times, and oddly enough Satan sort of helps in that sense but thats it!!

Anyways its really not important what set off these thoughts of doubt, rejections and insecurities what matters is how I let it seep into my life again and mess with my thoughts!  I'm weak and I need the Lord at all times and I'm thankful he is always there even when I don't seek Him out.  The last couple of days have shown me how much I always need the Lord in my life.  It also has shown my how easy it would be to fall backwards into that oddly comfortable pit that I've dug myself out of these last several months.  I don't want to get sucked back into that area of my life.

I've let the daily stresses of life bring me down again and I shouldn't when there is so much to be thankful for and to be happy with despite all else that goes around me.  I need to lean where my strength is and grab a hold it and keep moving forward.  Satan can take his little seeds of negativity and doubt and sit on them!!!

Deuteronomy 31:8
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Happiness & Ben

                  

My life is full right now and I'm very blessed.  Its been a long time that I can say that I'm happy.  Truly happy with where I am at right now.  Yes there are ups and downs and I'm not so thrilled with my job and then the challenges of being a single mom raising my three teenage children.  Well two I guess, since my oldest daughter, Karlee has moved out and will begin a new chapter in her story of community college, working full time and living with room mates.

There have been several attributing factors that have had an impact on my happiness these days.  Yes, I have kept some what to myself again and not posting much and being very careful with what I do post on Facebook but its because I'm living life again!  

I'm very thankful for my Lord and Savior, he has brought me through so many storms of my life but the latest has been an on going one for some time now and has finally set sail to calm waters with bright light shining all around.  It has taken time and has been a process.  I think I've said it before but the best word to describe life is a process!  The word is perfect because of all the many phases or stages or whatever you want to call them that you go through just to get to the other side that is the next chapter in your story.

Its been a journey with losing my dad, ending my second marriage, living on my own and being a single parent.  I have gone through many stages of the process and one of them that lasted longer than I have wanted to admit to for so long was the depression.  Depression had gotten a hold of me in so many ways that thankfully I can say its moved on from me.  The next stage I've been going through and probably will continue a while is the healing stage.  Healing of so many areas of my life inside and outside of myself.

As I said there have been many things that have helped me enter into this chapter of happiness.  I'm a thriver!  Lol what is that you ask well I've been involved in Thrive Le-vel since April now.  I will have to share in depth in another post but in short its a great way to start your day with three simple steps of great vitamins, probiotics and a wearable nutrition patch that helps fill in all the gaps of lack of nutritional intake.  These simple steps of great vitamins have helped me to feel better, have more energy and actually lose inches.  Also I feel motivated and happy.  I don't even take one of my meds for my fibro anymore!

Then there has been "new friends" that have come along side me and has helped pull me out!  Out of my safe space at home!  Out and about doing things!  I never realized I missed any of it until I started getting out and about again.  Crazy I know, to some and myself I was known for my cheerfulness and my happiness and energy and being a social butterfly but over the years I lost it and didn't pay much attention to it.

Always there will be my mom!  My little mommy!  My recent visit to El Paso TX a few months ago just by myself to visit.  It was great in so many impactful ways!  I love my mom and always will appreciate her and how she has raised me, and continues to be a part of my life.

I can't forget my kids, no matter what they keep me going.  Maybe going crazy at times pulling my hair out, crying or laughing but they do keep life an adventure.

I'm thankful for the Lord.  He always know what is needed in our lives and always has a plan.  I have learned more and more about living in the moment.  Living in the moment is hard and for a person like me that wants to plan or think ahead or invite worries and concerns that aren't even there yet, living in the moment has been so helpful and has made an impact in my life.  Don't get me wrong its not easy but can be very rewarding and freeing.

Okay now we will get to the new person in my life that has come along adding more life and happiness into my life.  (I know this world is only temporary and our home is with the Lord but to have a taste of peace, and happiness here on this crazy earth with so many negatives in it.....I'll take my chance for it!)

I met Ben through my new friends.  Ben and I have enjoyed each others company for the last couple of months.  Its been full of smiles and laughter!  He is sweet, kind, thoughtful, attentive and a gentleman.  He opens the door for me out and about and on his truck for me to get in it.  Most of all and the biggest thing for me is that he accepts me.....yes me!  He accepts me for who I am inside and out!  It has made me realize how much my ex-husband really did a number on me with how I learned to feel about myself....I lost who I was and didn't think very nicely about myself, especially my outward appearance.  I'm beautiful and wonderfully made by my Lord and Savior and others have seen it and others see it now, like me!

I don't know where any of this will go with Ben but for now Ben is apart of my life and I'm enjoying every moment that he is in it.  I know some of you have said be careful, don't give away your heart just yet, and what about this or that.  I hear you I do, and have asked myself things too and have thought this or that but really life is is living.  I'm living again and I will take each moment however it unfolds and deal with it and keep moving forward.  

Trust me I know storms may come, and heartache and issues and all that but until they do I'm not going to invite them into this chapter of my story.  The Lord is the author of my story no matter how each chapter goes.  

Its simple right now, I like Ben. Ben likes me.  My kids see me happy and enjoy it.  I'm happy.

Ben and I soaking wet from being rained on at the Dan & Shay concert.  It was fun despite the rain.

Having fun messing around with snapchat and taking funny pictures and laughing while waiting on Sara to finish up with the volleyball car wash on a Saturday afternoon.

Living each moment one moment at a time.

Always being grateful

The two pictures above that are black and white I really really love!  There is just something about black and white and how it can capture the unspoken words of that moment in that brought joy.

August, Concert, School and Smiles

Okay so here is Ben!  We went with Karlee and Austin to the Dan & Shay concert earlier this month.

I love my girls!

This is the site I found as I was walking out to the dumpster with trash.  What a beautiful site!

Sara, first day of school, 9th grade!

Kyle, first day of school, senior! Graduates this year!

I found this picture of Kyle on instagram and thought it was a good picture of him so I save it!  Look at that smile!

Ben & I

we were waiting for Sara to get down with the volleyball team car wash, so I was messing around with snapchat.  It was fun!

Karlee got to see Talia again after so long, she used to baby sit her, she has grown so much!

Karlee & Austin this past weekend before they went to the Sam Hunt concert in Phoenix.

They are such a cute couple!

Since school has started things have been busy around here.  Sara made the Freshmen Volleyball team.  Kyle is doing football again for his last year.  Work for me, is just work.  I look forward to times with my kids and with Ben.

Now that school has started it seems times starts to fly and before you know its the holidays!

Touch in again soon, I'm at lunch and have to get back to the office to go to work.

Random Blessings

A sweet friend of mine left this note one evening for me to find when I came in the morning to work to start my day.

Sara went on a fun trip to Wyoming with her friend and family.  She had a great time. 

This is my happy smile that I can't help but wear very often now thanks to someone I met that helps put that big smile there.

Karlee surprised me with lunch one day!

A good friend of mine at her first book signing!  So proud of her and so thankful for her friendship over he years.

Last week got the kids registered for the new school year.  Its that time again!  Where did the summer go?

Celtic Festival 2017

Okay so this post should have happened last month.....oh well here is a quick summary of a fun weekend.  Pictures express so much more than words at times.

New and great friends!

Fun group of people!

enjoyed dinner downtown with friends

Day two of the Celtic Festival with Karlee and Austin's family

One of Kyle's coaches

Spontaneous

So I'm a little behind on posting....a few weeks ago I was spontaneous which you're probably saying okay so what right? But it was a big deal for me and it shocked my kids.  A few friends of mine were out and about late downtown.  It was probably around 9:30 and I got a message and was asked to come and hang out.  Now forget about the idea that a few of them were getting tattoos, thats not the topic, just the fact that they were all together and wanted me to hang out too.  It was a Friday night, the kids were all busy and I wasn't doing anything at home.  So I did.  I got in my car, drove in the dark, if you know me you know I don't like driving at night and its past the time I'd normally go out.  But I went and had a nice time hanging out with my friends, watching a few of them get tattoos.

Being spontaneous can be very rewarding and also help make you realize there is more to life than just sitting at home and watching Netflix.  Get out and live a little!