Guiding vs. Parenting

Last night my oldest daughter and I sort of got into a discussion that left me feeling like she still didn't quite understand where I was coming from.  I walked out of the room leaving it to God after I spoke to her words from my heart through Christ.

She is 17 and will be 18 in September.  As a mom I want to protect her and shield her from the cruel things in this world.  Last night I felt like I took a turn from "parenting" to "guiding"  The difference being that when our children are younger we sort of can "control" and protect better than when they get older and think they are ready for the world.

I have realized that when I speak to my daughter now I can only suggest, imply, influence, point out what I know would be the better option or choice and let her decide for herself.....to guide her.  Letting go and speaking truth into there life and leaving her in God's hands is not and will not be easy for me to do.  That is where my faith comes in.....and knowing God and having a relationship with Him.  He is raising my daughter and she and I can only follow Him in His plan for her....in her everyday dealings with life as a young beautiful inside and out young woman growing in her place in this world.

I love my daughter (my 3 children) so very much and I know that I can not guide them out into this world without the Lord.  So very thankful for knowing that, it lightens the load and puts the burden on the shoulders of the one who can handle it all for His children.

I also know that the only thing I can do to lean on the Lord through all of what will come into the life of my daughter is to pray.  Pray for her daily.  Giving her over and over back to the Lord.

Let her walk insecurity of Your assigned worth to her.  Give her a strong work ethic and health to accomplish all her tasks.  Give her a heart that desires to extend her hand to those in need.  Protect her to the right husband, a man of respect and godly honor.  And let her be a woman of joy and laughter whose Christ-centered character is what makes her most beautiful.  (Proverbs 31)

Lord, continue to give me the strength, wisdom and guidance for me to love and guide my daughter into this world.  Amen

Lead Me Lord

In all areas of my life I look to the Lord.  I can not live in this world without Him.  I'm so thankful that he sought me years ago and didn't give up on me and took me in his arms the moment I went running into them.  I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on the Lord and his mighty promises and his love for me.  I pray for his guidance and presence in my life even when I may turn away briefly.

Not sure what the rest of this Sunday will bring but I know He is with me and there will be good, joy and blessings abound in the midst of whatever the day brings.

Thank you Lord

A Day to Myself

On Tuesday morning I decided not to go to the ladies bible study.  I was torn with going and getting things done and then taking a day to not feel so rushed.  I stayed home and took my time getting started with my day.  I did some cleaning around the house that really needed to get done, went to the grocery store.  I know it sounds busy and normal but for me it made a difference.

Later that day I got a text message from a friend asking me what was up since its very very rare that I miss.  I told her thanks for her concern, that everything was fine just needed a day.

I also found out from another friend that she was called about me, wondering if she knew where I was.  I had to laugh but it was nice to feel missed.

I'm thankful for how the Lord had blessed my day and refreshed my soul for the rest of the week.

A little Spring in my step

This goofy guy is my cousin!  His name is Donny Davis.  I don't really know him all that well but found this picture of him on facebook.  He live the "rich & famous" life actually.  He was in the movie Pain & Gain.

I have recently borrowed her Circut from a friend of mine.  I have had so much fun playing with it and creating.....I thought these little flower boxes decorated with the flower and filled with chocolate kisses would be great for Mother's Day....to sell at church on the Mission Table maybe. 

These are called Orange Blossoms.  I found this cute little flower pot of flowers at Safeway yesterday.

Yesterday was Easter.  It wasn't a big deal for us.  Micah was working all day.  Kyle at his dad's and Karlee, Sara & I went to church then I dropped Karlee off at work.  While in church I had gotten a text message from the woman that rents from us downstairs.  She works at the hospital on the weekends.  We hadn't seen her care since Friday and were concerned.  She was in the hospital with a bad kidney infection.  I had told Micah and sent back suggesting that I go visit her after church.  It was a great idea!

This woman has had it rough just like the rest of us and doing what she needs to do to get through the days.  She had four children, ranging in age from 11 to 2, recently divorced and in her early 30s.  She gets her kids every other week.  She was suppose to have them yesterday and this week, being in the hospital has put a kink in the plans.  She loves Flagstaff but most of the friends she had for whatever reason are more on her ex's side than hers.  She has more friends in Phoenix.

Micah & I  sympathize with her and have offered to be there for her and the kids if she ever needed a helping hand.  When she has the kids it's like a tornado hit, landed and moved on, frustration can be heard and our heart aches.

Sara & I went up to the hospital after church.  She was so surprised and happy to see us.  We stayed for a bit and then left to go get some of her clothing and things.  Before heading up the second time I stopped and picked up the flowers that are shown in the picture above along with a little baggie of Easter candy from the house to surprise her with.  We stayed about an hour.  She was feeling a little better before we had left.  It was great to see her smile and so happy that we had came to visit her.  I'm so thankful for the suggestion from Micah to put a little spring into my step.

Afterwards I went home to cook dinner and have it ready before Micah came home.  It had been a long time that I felt inspired to please my husband with dinner ready.  I wanted to make another smile and give the gift of kindness and love.

Thankful to the Lord for giving me that spring in my step and the strengthen to push through how tired and achy my body was feeling.  It was all well worth it!

Our Vets

Today I found myself at the VA Hospital ER in Prescott with my ex-husband, Scott.  While sitting there waiting I heard interesting conversation around me.  The man sitting in the picture below (I put my phone on silent and tried to look like I wasn't taking a picture while I was sitting down several chairs away from him) greeted every man that came in as brother.  He enjoyed talking, most of the men would listen and chat a little with him.  The man would repeat himself and share random stories about things he did and the men he killed and why.  He seemed very lonely.  He has been without his wife for a very long time ( he told me after he mentioned how pretty I was and that he had an amazingly beautiful and wonderful wife)  He talked about how he was waiting for his friend that he had driven there.  He said he would drive many of his friends to and from and that he has buried most of his friends.  He would get up before a man would leave and shake their hand and say thank you brother for doing his job for this country so long ago.

Everyone has a story.

One man looked over and saw me sitting there, while I was waiting for Scott.  The man in the chair had "announced" that the other man had dumped agent orange all over the place.  The man was not happy that the other man had said that so loudly, he seemed not proud of what he had done.  He told the man to be quite and that is what it was then and this is now and no one needs to know.  He sat down and looked back at me and said "especially to her, now she has heard and she will probably tell everyone she knows".  I wanted to tell him that wasn't going to happen and wanted to go shake his hand and tell him to have a good day but I sat quietly watching the men interact.

He was a mercenary.  He couldn't get into the Marines.

The man sitting like to talk.  He was saying good-bye to a man that had served our country long ago.

We were finally in the back waiting to see what all was going on with Scott.  Needless to say that we walked out hours later knowing nothing and told to go call his "medical team" to get permission to see a specialist.  The VA system is frustrating and sad.  I can't believe some of the attitudes I picked up on from the people working there to help the men that served our country.  The things they would say....they basically dismissed them and humored them on how they were feeling.  People these men served this country that we live in Hello!!  They have been through more than we could really understand or relate too.  The whole system is in no hurry to help them.

I'm worried about the father of my children....

We await the next step in discovering what is next to deal with.....

Deep Breath

Today I woke up tired and not feeling good.  My Fibro acting up some.  I enjoyed a cup of coffee and cleaned the kitchen and started laundry.  I should have gone to church.  Instead I got up and went to the grocery store.  After putting things away I sat on the couch to relax some while waiting for Karlee to get home, then we were going to go look for a pair of jeans for her.

While sitting there I received a text message from Scott (my ex-husband)  He had asked me to call him when I got a moment.  I called him right then and he asked me what I was doing tomorrow.  I actually have "off" so I asked what was up.  He said that he wanted me to go with him to the VA Hospital in Prescott.  He wasn't feeling well and he had been urinating blood and some clots.  It doesn't sound good and we still do not know all that can and could be going on in his body right now, so I'm glad he has decided to go.

On our way back from the mall, Karlee and I were almost home when I received a text message.  It was from a friend of mine.  I have been concerned about our friendship lately and was really shocked at the message I read.....I instantly was angry and hurt at the same time.  She said that she has an issue with but doesn't want to tell me about it and wants our friendship to dissolve.

I'm tired on all levels right now.  I took a moment to confide in a friend, then said a prayer.  I took a deep breath to go look over my list of things that I wanted to get done today to see what I could motivate myself to do.  I picked one thing and did it.  I'm working through things in my head....hence this post and now I'm completely empty and need to lay day and shut things out for a bit and take a nap.

Soon I will hear my little sunshine girl walking in the house from her fun filled days at Disney land.  I look forward to her being home, I've missed her.  I hope she won't be grumpy tomorrow when I get her up for school.....

Spring break

This wallet has become my best seller so far!  My Aunt Christ ordered one.  

I went to Hobby Lobby and had fun looking at the variety of things in the paper section

I bought a few new things too :)

I must confess I went there only for the 3.99 to 4.49 bottles of wine

Sara loves to chill out in the pool no matter how cold the water really was...

He moves faster than I thought...I watched him do a lap around the yard.

Sara & I enjoyed our time together

My Aunt Chris & I

Sara had to come over dripping wet to give me a "wet hug"

Kyle & Sara

Of course big brother has to splash, but they had a good time together.  It was good to see.

Kyle & Matt (Kyle's best friend)

Kyle back in February wanted to do this for his birthday....well it's a little late.....

He had a good time.

Sara too

My cousin Shawn & I

My Uncle Ernie

a view of a relaxing evening

My girl is growing up fast!

The boys enjoyed chilling out