I have kept busy all day today but now I'm relaxing with Christmas music, a cup of hot chai and I'm taking a few moments to drift as I look at a picture of my dad and I together from two Christmas' ago. There is not enough snow on the ground yet, like two years ago and he isn't sitting in my living room watching Frosty with me when no one else will. Its the same tree, and same place but there are things, and people missing that make it different. Since he has been gone I'm trying to embrace "different" but it has not been easy and by no means successful yet, but each day things get a little easier and a little more different.
This year has been a beginning of "new" and "different" things without daddy on this earth with me. Angelia, she rents the bottom floor from us and she has 4 children and she and her family bring in a whole bunch of different :) but good. With her I drift back more often to when my kids were little and at young ages. With her I remember what it was like to juggle life, with kids, the crazy times of multi tasking She and I have become good friends. I love her energy and power of pushing through, her strength and love for her kids. I also remember the struggles of being a single mom as I watch her struggle too. But she isn't alone, and I try to be here for her when she needs some help. She on the other hand brings a "taste of life" back to me. It will be hard to explain but just know its all good.
Last night could be an example of that energy for life again....She invited Micah and I and the girls to join her and kids for dinner out. She and her kids every year dress up to the hilt and they go out for dinner. This year was different for her, since it was just her and the kids and things in her life are in a place that they were not use to being. But she found her spark and took off with it! She wanted us to dress up too and join them out for dinner. That was great and fine but to dress up......well we did even Micah, none of us looked as fancy as she did but it was perfect and fun! It was great to get out and do something different, making a new memory to reflect on later. I'm thankful for her suggestion and that we went :)
The next couple of days around here will be cozy and quite with just Micah, Karlee, Sara, Kyle and I. I think it will be nice to be all together, I've missed having Kyle around. I'm trying not to hold any expectations of what any of it will look like and just going to go with the flow and let things happen as they will, enjoying every moment with joy.
If I had something to toast with I would....because all of a sudden I feel like its has lead into one with "here here we have each other and it will be as it should, it will all be well" here is to making "different" good and joyful.
Tomorrow I will wake up, see where the day will take me and in between it all make a few pies, and jello salads for Christmas dinner :)
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