My mom and I went to the hospital to see how Daddy was doing. When we walked in we were shocked! They had some miscommunicated to someone along the way and they had him on oxygen. We talked to the nurse on shift and asked what was going on and then she removed the oxygen. (it was hard enough and didn't want to prolong any longer...)
We stayed for a while, once again he was agitated and it was so hard for my mom to see that. We hung in there for a bit and then decided to go get some lunch before running a few errands.
We were asked to meet back at the hospital to talk with a lady from Hospice. We met up with her and they switched Daddy over to hospice. Nothing really changed other than a coding on his file.
It was late afternoon and we headed home. We were all so tired and drained, unsettle because he was still not relaxed. I struggled with going back up before it got too late. I got up from the table around 6 something and decided to go take a shower. I had gotten out of the shower and had a text message on my phone. It was from an old friend of the family. Actually more than that, their daughter and I had met on the first day of 1st grade wearing the same sun dress, and sandals and we hit it off after that, her family became my second family/home and same with mine for her.
Anyways....they messaged me telling me they were headed up to see Daddy. I hurried getting dressed and went out to my mom and said that we had to go back. By now it was a little after 7:00pm. We get there to find them standing outside of the room, that was dark and not allowed to go in. Not sure why when I had given permission for visitors. We greeted each other briefly and went into the room. We hadn't been there but a few minutes when nurse, Elsa came in and asked to talk with me.
She strongly suggested that we didn't leave because she said he will be leaving us very soon.
I go back inside feeling not so sure of what I had just been told and went straight to my dad's side and keeled down and took his hand in mine. I caressed his head and started to tell him that it was alright, that Jason was alright, mom was alright and that I was alright and that he was alright and that it was alright for him to go.
Patti-Jo nudged my mom and said "Linda look at his coloring" we all saw an instant change in his the color in his face, his breathing slowed down and was drawn in with a long pause and until finally at 8:00 p.m. he took his last breath. Patti-Jo held my mom as she crumbled and I held his hand and couldn't let it go....I couldn't...I managed to text a few people and my husband called me and then I lost it....
My mom came to my side and encircled me with her loving arms and then daddy's body jumped...over and over again, it startled us and I screamed. His defibliator was going off trying to restart his heart. (the nurse had to come in and place a magnet over the place it was in his chest to de-activate it)
He was gone...so quick.
I finally was able let go of his hand and then, Roger gathered us in a circle and said a beautiful prayer. We sat down and visited for awhile, catching up on old times of when I was in youth group and they were the leaders and so many other memories that we shared.
As we walked out of the hospital I felt a brief moment of joy...pure joy that God had used them to get me back up to the hospital. I was so happy and thankful in such a sad moment but it felt peaceful too. We hugged in the parking lot and I kept thanking them and God for coming to visit my dad.
Mom and I went back to her house and eventually we managed to go to bed.
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7:20 am right now...
I awoke with a numb, sad feeling....
Today November 8, a month later...it can't be
My heart aches and I sit here trying not cry like a baby.....
I love you daddy
I sit here with a cup of coffee looking out the window in silence, asking God to hold me in his arms.....
Thanks for sharing about your daddy, and even giving us a glimpse into the whole process through your eyes. Sending my love and prayers to you!
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