How do you not celebrate your anniversary?

Yesterday Micah & I have been married for 4 years now.  It was an interesting day with ups and downs and blessings in between.

I woke up like a normal morning, went to check and make sure the kids were up for school and found one missing in his bed.  Yep you guessed it, Dillon.  (found out later that he met up with a friend and walked to school early....not suppose to leave the house before 7:00am)

My husband sat on the bed to check his email and look at facebook.  He in is round about way mentioned our anniversary...sort of....He said oh look so and so has an anniversary today too.

I head out the door to work at the church for Linda and attend ladies bible study.  I didn't think things were bothering me so much.  I was frustrated at Dillon but other than that I had told myself that today was just another day and  planned on not expecting much of anything to happen.

I get to the office and try to log in onto the computer.  I can't!  I soon find out that the password had been changed and I wasn't notified.  I began to think well this is hopeless....what good am I going to be here today.  Our tech guy changed the password back to what I knew it to me :)  So all is well again.

I go into the staff meeting feeling a little.....I don't know just not settled.  The meeting gets wrapped up and then we all took turns praying.  I sat there listening to the others and thought that I would just pass on my turn.  But I didn't.  I also felt the presence of the holy spirit surround us all, I felt consumed by it.  I chocked out....yes I started to cry...why?  I don't know I just felt so heavy with emotions.  I barely muttered out a pray about families, parents and children.  By now it was apparent why I was really there and why I was feeling as I did.  Some questions were asked and then more praying went on and then I headed to the ladies room to dab up what makeup was left on my face to look presentable for the ladies bible study. ( thinking okay "I'm fine now, its all out of my system")

I was in the office trying to make copies and do things for the one that was going to give the study and then....it happened I crumbled and started to cry like a baby.  My mind was rolling around the reality of how my husband didn't really want to celebrate our anniversary...and then to wonder what is going on with Dillon. I just didn't want any part of it anymore!

Moving on....another one of the ladies who knows me well enough to see through me came along side and took me in the hall and prayed with me.

I had no words this time to share with my husband.  In the past I had written a little "love letter" or a card expressing things to him.  The words were not placed there this time.  It was really just another day.  The whole day went on without a word between us about what today was.

We ended the evening with going out for dinner together.  We went to have Greek food that neither of us have had or been too.  It was a nice dinner, the food was good and we talked about every day type things and then we went home, got comfy to watch a movie and settle in for the night.

At the restaurant while talking and enjoying our food, there were two moments that I caught and held on to quickly.  I caught him looking at me and then he smiled.  The other was the way he looked at me when I made him laugh with my silliness that comes out every now and again.  The softness in his eyes and the reflection of a deeper emotion was nice in those brief sweet moments

Before we had went in to the house after we got home, I told him thank you for dinner and then he leaned in and gave me two soft small lingering kisses, parting with a smile on his face, I gave a smile back to him.