A Hike?

Gosh I don't even know where to start!  I wanted to write about all the blessings and insight that the Lord gave me this past week but all I can really focus on was the hike I went on yesterday.

I was so excited to go on this hike to Fisher Point.  I have done part of it twice, once on my own and once with a friend but have never completed it.  I was determined to complete the hike to the end point.  It was 6.4 miles to the Fisher Point Vista.  Along the way starting out I was happy, and energized.  I struggled the last 2 miles but I made it.  I reached the end and it was a beautiful site!  I took my shoes and sock off and sat on the edge of a rock and dangled my feet and took in the view.  I ate a snack and had some water, took a few pictures.  I put my socks and shoes back on feeling refreshed and ready to begin my journey back down the trail back to the van to go home.  On the way up I had asked God not to down pour on me, and he gave me a few light rain drops and a wonderful cloudy breeze but on the way back was a totally different story....

I started my way back and I felt odd, I began feeling frustrated with my parts of my life and found myself talking to God and questioning things.  I was also a little angry and sad.  I'm really not sure what happened.
Then as I decided to dismiss all the negative things I was feeling and wanted to focus on that point that I had felt refreshed but then the sky fell out on top of me!

Yes I felt like the little duck that said the sky is falling, the sky is falling.  The rain came down hard, making it hard to see in front of me.  Then the hail came along and pounded on me.  The trail began to flood making it very difficult to keep on it.  I found myself in a panic and not enjoying the feeling at all.  I just wanted it to stop raining so I could get to the van.  The lightening flashed bright and loud and that is when I felt scared.  Yes I was scared, wet and cold!  I cried some and then I screamed some too.  Yes, I cried out in panic to the Lord but all that happened was more rain, harder and more hail.  I found myself questioning God and I think, yes, I think even a little angry and frustrated that I was out on this trail in the middle of all this weather!

I found myself "sucking it up" and I kept moving forward, at this point I was soaked so it didn't matter that I was getting wet, there was no place to get in out of the rain from so the only thing to do was to keep walking forward however I could to get to the van. I had a back pack on and in it was my camera and phone.  I wasn't happy about being soaked but I knew there was nothing I could do.  I just hoped that my things would be alright and not ruined.  More importantly I just wanted off the trail and to the van and not wanting to find myself slipping and sliding down the mountain like the water on the trail was doing on the edge of the mountain.

At one point on the last leg of the last mile I found myself saying to myself  "I'm not alone, God is with me and I am with him, and I'm almost there."  I said this over and over and found comfort in it, especially as the lightening boomed and flashed around me.

I saw the van in sight but as much as I wanted to run to it, I couldn't.  I was stiff and cold, found it hard to walk and I moved very slow.  I get to the van and found my fingers weren't really working with me to get the keys out and the door opened.  Finally I got in and I started the van and the heater and sat there for a brief moment.  I got my camera out and looked it over and my phone, neither were not soaked.  The outside of them were sprinkled lightly with water but I dried them quickly.  Then I headed home.

During the drive home I was picturing caring people wondering where have I been, and that they were trying to get a hold of me and that I didn't know it because my phone died.  But instead I found the house empty except for my son on the coach watching a movie and he looked at me weird and wondered why I didn't turn back sooner.

I went upstairs and go in the hot shower.  It seemed forever to get warm. I never got a hug of comfort from my husband or words of concern....only laughs and teasing words.  As the evening went on I found it hard to walk, my knees hurt so bad and my ankles and my back.  But that only brought on amusement for others in my discomfort.

I'm not sure what to think about the whole experience really, I've tried to reflect on it but I haven't had the energy to really focus on it.  Oddly enough I found doing simple things like load the dish washer to be a little sore, my stomach muscles feel like I did tons of sit ups....was all that to strengthen them before having surgery next month??

The one thing I do know is that I was not alone through the entire hike and I do find comfort in that despite how I felt in the middle of it all at the time.