A Moment to Myself

  The other night I found myself frustrated and emotional hurt with my husband.  I don't even think he knows what he did or didn't do, which is frustrating in itself.  Woman were certainly  designed differently than men, and it show often in the little moments of life.  As a woman I look into a conversation too much or look at the actions that were there or were not.  

But the other night I didn't know what to say or do to express to my husband the message I was trying to get across to him.  So I went down stairs to sit on the couch for a few moments.  I wasn't sure what was really on my mind or how I really felt I just knew I didn't like what I was feeling and I wanted him to change and all to be better.  We all know that is not how things work.  I sat there and began talking to God.  Soon the words came across my mind "he isn't capable right now".  I took a minute to let those words sink in to process.  I soon felt a little tension lifted and hope restored.

I know I have recently written about how there have been many blessings and improvements going on in my family, and there are and it is at a much happier point than a year ago.  Things wouldn't be a normal relationship if everything was perfect, so there is a few little areas that I find myself wanting changes (and quickly).  But when I thought of the words "he isn't capable right now" I knew that God is telling me to easy up on my expectations and to be patient and wait and know that He is working and there will be changes when my husband will be capable and it will be long lasting because it will be with God's help, not my demanding pushy, selfish neediness.

I took a deep breath and felt better but I wasn't quite ready to go back upstairs yet.  I turned on my computer and began to mindlessly browse online, email, face book, etc.  Then I came across a post from an inspirational quote site that got my attention.  I'll share it with you below.  I found this to be just what I needed.  I went quietly upstairs to snuggle with my husband and finished a movie before calling it a night.  Thank you Lord, you are amazing.

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If He works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way.
Lamentations 3:31 (MSG)